Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

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FVBTVS
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Wed May 22, 2013 1:54 pm

whats up with amy? Image

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a world of no
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Wed May 22, 2013 2:12 pm

takeasneededforpain wrote:
a world of no wrote:there's a pretty significant amount of critical thinking involved with doctoring to debunk your "rote memorization" theory.
To be fair, it's a hypothesis.
And, I admit that I hardly have a wide cross-section of doctor interaction to form a differing opinion. I grew up in an area so shitty they send doctors in as "underserved area" service. It seems that the best of the best don't tend to end up in Backwash, Illinois.

Frankly, I don't trust doctors anyway... because treating the symptoms and ignoring the cause of those symptoms seems to be the standard operating procedure. I guess the cynic in me wins these mental exercises 90% of the time.
there are a lot of mds that "phone it in", but that's more to do with the fact that they're typically busy as fuck with a ton of patients, and they've got the training and knowledge to make the correct decisions in a timely manner to allow them to move on to the next case. if someone is treating the symptoms it's mostly because the cause isn't readily apparent, and nobody wants a fuckton of expensive procedures and tests done on them unless it's absolutely necessary. then there's the whole thing where people fucking go to the doctor for the stupidest goddamn fucking shit ever, and waste everyone's fucking time.

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Wed May 22, 2013 2:18 pm

FVBTVS wrote:whats up with amy? Image
eh nothing really interesting. she did re-accept my hours though.

i'm not paid by the hour, meatgrease.
let's overturn these tables disconnect these cables
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Tue Jun 04, 2013 4:49 pm

Trying to explain to some dumb fucking fagg.ot that his product appears to be under warranty and we just need to call the manufacturer to see about a free replacement. Asshole starts swearing and ranting and raving that he pays good money for insurance and wants to pay the deductible, I get the insurance person on the line who starts explaining the same thing to which he proceeds to read her the same riot act.
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Tue Jun 04, 2013 4:52 pm

so I wonder what snippets have been coming out of keystone13's mouth...
does your employer know that you are a cold hearted animal murderer in addition to being an insatiable pervert?-meatgrease
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Tue Jun 04, 2013 5:16 pm

Krazy Karl Kugler, the horribly racist welder, once confided in me that his sister was going to be giving birth to a mocha colored child soon. Afterward, he looked off in the distance, sighed and said " you know if you shake anybody's family tree hard enough, a nigger will fall out".
Last edited by \m/Johnny\m/ on Tue Jun 04, 2013 5:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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- GLENN DANZIG "literally a rotating cast of gigantic wigged infants," claims former tour manager

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Tue Jun 04, 2013 5:17 pm

hahahahah
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Fri Jun 28, 2013 7:52 pm

played some intercepting fist for this guy at work yesterday during some of our copious downtime, and he referred to Dim Mak as "kind of the 311 of death metal, huh?"

i mean, i guess i can kind of see where he's coming from, but :drooly:

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Fri Jun 28, 2013 9:24 pm

my third-grade class has to write a movie report every month

part of the assignment is that they have to watch the movie five times over the course of the month

June's movie was Bolt; for those of you not immediately familiar with the ins and outs of a mediocre five-years-old Disney flick, there's a cat character in the movie named Mittens

one question on the assignment sheet: What is one thing you'd change about the movie to make it more interesting?

one girl said she'd change the name of the cat in the movie to 'Mittens'

:fp:
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Fri Jun 28, 2013 9:27 pm

That's adorable not dumb
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Fri Jun 28, 2013 9:33 pm

It's adorably dumb. How the hell do you watch a movie five times and not pick up on one of the key character's names? Best part, we were all discussing their reports in class on Thursday, starting with summarizing the movie, and when I mentioned Mittens by name this girl suddenly looked shocked and said, "The cat's name is Mittens??" Turns out, her mom had commented that Mittens was a nice name for the cat, and the girl had somehow failed to put together that her mom was making that comment because it was the cat's name.

Clarification: They have to watch the movie in English, but they're allowed to use Korean subtitles. Further clarification: Girl I'm talking about is usually very smart.
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Fri Jul 12, 2013 5:46 pm

You're mean.
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Sat Jul 13, 2013 8:53 am

kickpuncher wrote:he referred to Dim Mak as "kind of the 311 of death metal, huh?"
shrewd things i've heard at work
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Wed Jan 15, 2014 12:45 pm

My brother in law again

Me: I have to leave early today and the truck left early this morning from Wisconsin with those parts for us... can you stick around and make sure somebody clears the dock, and takes care of the paperwork?

Him: sure.

2 hours later I grab my coat and head for the door, he grabs his and starts to follow me.

Me: what about the truck?

Him: I'll do it tomorrow... Wisconsin is like 4 days away.


Madison, WI to KC, KS = approx 7 hrs.
elephants gerald wrote:
- GLENN DANZIG "literally a rotating cast of gigantic wigged infants," claims former tour manager

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Raw Ting
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Wed Jan 15, 2014 1:12 pm

now you're just lying. no one accidentally 4 days instead of 7 hours

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Wed Jan 15, 2014 1:26 pm

I swear to fucking Christ he's a retarded man-child.

We once passed a fairly large house in a nicer neighborhood in town and he remarked "I bet that place is 40,000 square feet".
elephants gerald wrote:
- GLENN DANZIG "literally a rotating cast of gigantic wigged infants," claims former tour manager

kelly
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Mon Jan 27, 2014 8:55 am

Waking up to this text gem from someone who is calling out of work. ...and soon to be the mother of another human.
SPOILERSPOILER_SHOW
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:fp:
copstache wrote: fisshhshticksss

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Mon Jan 27, 2014 2:20 pm

HAHAHAHAHA
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featherboa
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Mon Jan 27, 2014 2:44 pm

kelly wrote:and soon to be the mother of another human.
maybe not...
let's overturn these tables disconnect these cables
This place don't make sense to me no more
copstache wrote: i cut my hand at work and just let it drip on my desk during a conference call
FVBTVS wrote:probably some punk broth

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Raw Ting
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Mon Jan 27, 2014 3:37 pm

she sounds fat. a lot of fats often don't understand that you don't want to hear about their pregnant pussy leaking

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Mon Jan 27, 2014 4:20 pm

Raw Ting wrote:she sounds fat. a lot of fats often don't understand that you don't want to hear about their pregnant pussy leaking
Really? Because I thought she sounded like a child having a child. "Private parts"?! There was no better way to say all this, like "Hey, I'm experiencing some vaginal bleeding and need to see my doctor to make sure everything is okay with my pregnancy, can you find someone to cover my shift".....?

She was giving me the TMI breakdown because I really didn't know who she was. She was just assigned to the shift and I've never met her :confused:
copstache wrote: fisshhshticksss

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Raw Ting
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Mon Jan 27, 2014 5:02 pm

it's just insane when people think they need to disclose specific symptoms, especially when the symptoms are grotesque. wouldn't "I have to go to the doctor for pregnancy complications" suffice? I suppose in this day and age maybe you're lucky she didn't snapchat a picture of the blood.. :fp:

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Mon Jan 27, 2014 8:01 pm

Raw Ting wrote:it's just insane when people think they need to disclose specific symptoms, especially when the symptoms are grotesque. wouldn't "I have to go to the doctor for pregnancy complications" suffice? I suppose in this day and age maybe you're lucky she didn't snapchat a picture of the blood.. :fp:
Eew.
And I agree, she could have left it at what you said, but since she was offering the specifics she could have done so in a way that didn't make me envision a pregnant 7 year old. You know she wasn't sitting there trying to figure out "okay how can I put this" and that's what she came up with, that's exactly how she refers to her vagina.
copstache wrote: fisshhshticksss

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Mon Jan 27, 2014 8:22 pm

I had to do a preg test on a 7 year old due to bleeding from her private area. The prospect is as douche-chilling as you'd think.

Had a lot of patient's family point to the monitor and ask "is that their blood pressure?" Yep, your mom's blood pressure is 64.
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"Kids in the hall aren't good. They are like The Whitest Kids You Know but less funny" says 25 year old lump with a either a Starwars batman or walking dead T shirt and gentle beard.
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