Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

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ratanda
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by ratanda »

broböt wrote:
Because it is such a PITA [pain in the ass]
He deserves a punch in the face just for making that acronym.
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by hana maru »

Cascade Whore wrote:I once had an angry customer say: "(computer related) I want the thing!, that goes into the other thing!, so that it will do the thing I want it to do!, So I can do the stuff! Do you understand!?"
i'm sorry you had to deal with my father... :|
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by hana maru »

jakebonz wrote:

*Pittsburghers like to describe distances in driving time
ohhh...

for years i've been very conscious that i DON'T do this (i do it by distance) after i dated a guy from pittsburgh and he was always annoyed that i would tell him distance not driving time...i thought it was just a quirk of his, not a regional thing.
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Cascade Whore »

hana maru wrote:
Cascade Whore wrote:I once had an angry customer say: "(computer related) I want the thing!, that goes into the other thing!, so that it will do the thing I want it to do!, So I can do the stuff! Do you understand!?"
i'm sorry you had to deal with my father... :|
Haha, he wasn't old. Just an inbred hick. I don't claim to be more than a half-head's step above total computer illiteracy but it'd be nice if some people would have the tiniest grain of knowledge. Like people who don't know either A)what ink cartridge they need or B)what model of the printer it is "but it's a HEWLETT PACKARD PRINTER!! CAN'T YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT INK IT IS BY THAT!!!...IT DOES COPIES AND PRINTS!!!" And I'd like to know why the phrase "zip drive" has to now be another name for USB/flash/jump/thumb devices. This is a fucking zip drive:
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by jakebonz »

FUCK, THESE GUYS ARE HOME THEATER COMEDY GOLD:

"You know, HDTVs go down in price over time"
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by featherboa »

It sounds like you work in my neighbor's living room.

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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by cibola »

two people on irc channel at work discussing the merits of this: http://www.velocity.net/~galen/
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by jakebonz »

cibola wrote:two people on irc channel at work discussing the merits of this: http://www.velocity.net/~galen/
That site design is only rivaled by dvdbeaver.com in awfulness
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by neckbeard »

jakebonz wrote:
cibola wrote:two people on irc channel at work discussing the merits of this: http://www.velocity.net/~galen/
That site design is only rivaled by dvdbeaver.com in awfulness
Ack, scrolling that page made me seasick.
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Necrometer »

jakebonz wrote:FUCK, THESE GUYS ARE HOME THEATER COMEDY GOLD:

"You know, HDTVs go down in price over time"
:oops: that isn't true?
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Pistol Whip »

A girl in one of my trainers classes made an HR complaint yesterday because she said that Africa was a country and when the trainer corrected her and told her it was a continent the whole class laughed at her.
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by jakebonz »

Oh no, that is definitely true. It was just delivered in such a way as to indicate that very few actually knew that, thus making it facepalm worthy.
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Necrometer »

oh, heheheh :cheers:
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by jakebonz »

So, just to recap what I've gathered from the inane conversation, the guy now has a "budget model" HDTV purchased from Walmart, basic cable with no HD Channels to watch on said HDTV, a 3-speaker "Surround Sound" system, and some very bootleg Steelers / Penguins merch that he thinks is Althentic.
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Dr Yail Bloor »

jakebonz wrote:So, just to recap what I've gathered from the inane conversation, the guy now has a "budget model" HDTV purchased from Walmart, basic cable with no HD Channels to watch on said HDTV, a 3-speaker "Surround Sound" system, and some very bootleg Steelers / Penguins merch that he thinks is Althentic.
I bet he is fucking stoked as well, lucky fucker...ignorance is bliss
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by jakebonz »

I'm sure he's as happy as a pig in shit, but all I'm sayin' is just don't go around pretending you're the expert when you're clearly just an idiot. Otherwise, you're exploits will be posted on an obscure message board loosely tied to a metal record label.
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Necrometer »

I've got a super-deluxe HDMI cable that'll really take his system to the next level... only $50...
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by jakebonz »

Necrometer wrote:I've got a super-deluxe HDMI cable that'll really take his system to the next level... only $50...
Exactly...
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Hypnagogia »

token weird guy at work wrote "colonoscopy" on his reason for being out of the office card on his desk.
...I don't know why "doctor's appointment" wouldn't have sufficed.
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by death by snoo snoo »

It's the same principle as saying "I have diarrhea" instead of "I'm sick." If you disgust them or put them in fear of something contagious right out of the gates, they won't ask any more questions. He's probably either going to a sporting event or banging some chick. Notice if he comes back to work with a conspicuous hickey or suntan.
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Hypnagogia »

death by snoo snoo wrote:It's the same principle as saying "I have diarrhea" instead of "I'm sick." If you disgust them or put them in fear of something contagious right out of the gates, they won't ask any more questions. He's probably either going to a sporting event or banging some chick. Notice if he comes back to work with a conspicuous hickey or suntan.
interesting theory, but if you knew this guy, you'd know he wasn't making it up.
he's the type of guy that has built up hundreds of hours of vacation and sick leave and doesn't use them.
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by copstache »

i had to put on my headphones the other day when some people down the hall were comparing LOUDLY about what their two year olds ate for dinner the night before. at 8am. whyyyy
if there's anybody in the world who'd be fucking unobservant enough to actually damage themselves with trap-soap I guess it'd be the guy with dialup in 2007
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by E.E 3.0 »

school probably doesn't count, but i heard some chick talk about getting "fucked in the ass so hard in the office" whilst walking to class this morning... she looked around after to see if anyone was listening and saw me laughing a little bit and then took off really fast and hung up the phone...

:what: :moreawesome:
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by jakebonz »

So, they're rearranging cubes (of the non-piss type) here so they can move accounting into another area.

At the moment, there are now a total of 7 dudes standing around trying to figure out how to move things because of a change of plans.

The original idea was nice, two rows of cubes with an isle down the middle.

But wait! "Not so fast, xasthur fans!" says the accounting higher-ups! "The accounting people will have to walk down that isle, it will be noisy"

So the next idea was to make a long isle around all of the cubes so the accounting people won't disturb my posting on this board.

"NOT SO FAST, xasthur fans!" says the accounting higher-ups! "They can't be forced to walk an extra 20 yards!"

























































































































































































































.......so we're gonna knock a hole in the side of the building for a new door so the accounting people don't have to walk as far..............
















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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

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