Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Music posts are a bannable offense.
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Geeheeb
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Wed Sep 30, 2015 11:48 am

its up to you to show him the way
FVBTVS wrote:
Tue Feb 06, 2018 12:04 pm
from enslavement to obliteration is older than abbey road
Cascade Whore
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Fri Jan 22, 2016 11:54 pm

At work there are big flat screens mounted to walls so we can
Watch movies while working

The management refuses to play an MLK documentary on MLK day or most of the people didn't want to watch it, I'm not sure which but either way a black manager was miffed

The next day or so oh brother where art thou is being played and the same manager complains about the KKK scene and gets it turned off

Then other people bitch about "the race card"

Now we can only watch pg (not pg13) movies.


Everyone involved in this is an idiot
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featherboa
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Sat Jan 23, 2016 9:07 pm

Image
:confused:
let's overturn these tables disconnect these cables
This place don't make sense to me no more
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FVBTVS wrote:probably some punk broth
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Fuck...I'm Dave
git help.
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Sun Jan 24, 2016 6:03 am

hipster holocaust wrote:The closest ones are in Diabetestown, PA :(

Roadtrip!
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hipster holocaust
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Sun Jan 24, 2016 6:40 am

Cascade Whore wrote:At work there are big flat screens mounted to walls so we can
Watch movies while working
Do you work at a laundromat?
Fuck...I'm Dave wrote:
hipster holocaust wrote:The closest ones are in Diabetestown, PA :(

Roadtrip!
100% down
MeatGrease wrote:I think New Jersey has permanently fucked up my DNA
Cascade Whore
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Sun Jan 24, 2016 8:20 am

hipster holocaust wrote:
Cascade Whore wrote:At work there are big flat screens mounted to walls so we can
Watch movies while working
Do you work at a laundromat?
No. Do you think black people would work at a laundromat?
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hipster holocaust
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Sun Jan 24, 2016 8:22 am

Uh, yes?
MeatGrease wrote:I think New Jersey has permanently fucked up my DNA
Cascade Whore
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Sun Jan 24, 2016 12:19 pm

I don't think we should be talking about this
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hipster holocaust
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Sun Jan 24, 2016 1:58 pm

We wouldn't be if you said what your job is.
MeatGrease wrote:I think New Jersey has permanently fucked up my DNA
Cascade Whore
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Sun Jan 24, 2016 4:21 pm

hipster holocaust wrote:We wouldn't be if you said what your job is.
No, that's not what I meant
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How Are Mortiis Goatse?!
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Sun Jan 24, 2016 5:06 pm

His job where they watch movies is obviously one of these scenarios, from most to least likely:
A) He sells his blood plasma twice a week
B) He is still attends public school and his teacher is a burnout who just puts on movies instead of doing his job
C) He licks stamps or some other menial repetitive labor and they were able to convince middle management that having a TV on is no less distracting than a radio
D) He is a burnout public school teacher and puts on movies instead of doing his job
E) He works as some kind of emergency personnel somewhere where very little happens so they just sit around most days waiting for the phone to call
Cascade Whore
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Sun Jan 24, 2016 7:37 pm

Grave digger in a biodome
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hipster holocaust
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Mon Jan 25, 2016 8:52 am

Security guard
Taxi dispatch
Projectionist
Watching movies with black guys guy
MeatGrease wrote:I think New Jersey has permanently fucked up my DNA
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ThePhillyExperiment
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Mon Jan 25, 2016 2:35 pm

Overheard a large black woman loudly arguing for 15 minutes with a sandwich shop that they didn't put cheese on her sandwich.
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GLEN BENTON wrote: ONLY THING IS I LOOK AT THE GIRLS AT THE MOVIES, AND THERE BETWEEN 10 AND 14!
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hipster holocaust
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Mon Jan 25, 2016 2:38 pm

Do you think they did and she just ate it like a ninja?
MeatGrease wrote:I think New Jersey has permanently fucked up my DNA
Cascade Whore
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Mon Jan 25, 2016 5:35 pm

hipster holocaust wrote: Watching movies with black guys guy
The manager was a woman
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Ghost Dad
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Sun May 08, 2016 3:51 pm

"Why is she standin' all stupid?"
hipster holocaust wrote: What do you think they're doing up there right now? A smiling SLH listening to MLK's juicy wife cheating stories while Maya takes notes?
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Fisk
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Tue May 10, 2016 7:54 am

Credit Bureaus Were the NSA of the 19th Century

http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/a ... us/479226/
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Cascade Whore
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Mon May 30, 2016 2:24 am

I got into it with some turd at work recently who looks like a lanky meth addict that's lost about 30 pounds of muscle in the last few months. I'll call him "shit scarecrow"

SSC decides to say this at random out of the blue: "dude your sales pitch fucking sucks"
Me:??????????
SSC: "it's shit dude"
Me: "how many sales to you have?"
SSC: "it get like 3 of X every month"
Me: "hmm gee so I. Infact have more than you this month"
SSC: " it doesn't matter"
Me:???????????? *then why'd you open your fucking mouth. To air our your blackened amphetamine stumps?*
Me: "if I want advice on life you're not going to be the person I ask"
SSC: "oh yeah! I won't be working here seven years when I'm as old as you dude!!" *huffing and puffing*
Me: "yeah because you'll be in jail again"
SSC: "fuck your dude!!"


Next day:

Me: "hey looks like I got another sale"
SSC: "oh yeah!! You're still a douche bag dood! I won't be working here seven years!! I'm statin' my own buzinezz!! Snitches get stitches!!!"


Shit scarecrow is currently living with a pal of mine from work because he would basically be homeless of he didn't let him stay with him.
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The Real MPD
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Mon May 30, 2016 3:49 am

you work at Best Buy.
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The Real MPD
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Mon May 30, 2016 3:49 am

OOOOHHH...
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hipster holocaust
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Mon May 30, 2016 6:41 am

Sounds like an unbalanced time bomb. Although it might be a good payday in court, you will have to spend some time in the hospital if he tries to take you out.
MeatGrease wrote:I think New Jersey has permanently fucked up my DNA
Cascade Whore
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Mon May 30, 2016 1:19 pm

The Real MPD wrote:you work at Best Buy.
You're thinking of abdominalpillaging. I sell propane and propane accessories
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Cascade Whore
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Mon May 30, 2016 1:21 pm

hipster holocaust wrote:Sounds like an unbalanced time bomb. Although it might be a good payday in court, you will have to spend some time in the hospital if he tries to take you out.
Yeah. Even though I wanted to break a chair across his face, I'm thinking if he takes a swing at me I'm just going to put my hands behind my back and let everyone in the place see him punch me.
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Cascade Whore
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Tue Nov 15, 2016 1:54 am

I was talking to a woman at work about how a family of white Muslims I know are giving serious thought of moving back to Germany after trumps election and she says "what's a white Muslim?"
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