Offical running tally on Amelia's sexual reeelapse conquests

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

john, that was totally out of line.

[hipster holocaust]

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

hahaha that picture makes chris look like a stud.

[cold radiance]

probably more like 7 years. 2002 i was lurking, probably most of 2003 as well. i'd imagine i was fairly regular by the end of 2004? i had a different name then. also, i tried to let people assume i was male for as long as possible, but you know how people like to blow the lid off that the second they figure it out. you know, burn her at the stake, drown her, chastise her for drunken indiscretions, whatever.

So you were lurking here as a teenager? Ouch.

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

eh.

i was posting on the coalesce board from the age of 17 or so. lurked here because everything moved so fast and i could rarely keep up. eventually got too manic for the coalesce board, so i transitioned. i actually first met chinbeard and his lady and some other internet people the first couple of times i visited portland in an attempt to settle here when i was 19.

dang, i guess i've been polluted by you fools for a good percentage of my adult life. i'm screwed.

[cold radiance]

dang, i guess i've been polluted by you fools for a good percentage of my adult life. i'm screwed.

Yeah, you're totally fucked. Oh well. There's a certain purity in that.

[cold radiance]

The guy on the right looks like a Simpsons character.

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

I'm just saying, I was fairly innocent and shy before I moved to Portland/started posting here regularly...I'd only slept with one guy, we were 'engaged', and he was a good drug & alcohol-free sucker kid that loved jesus and his mother. fortunately for him, something sinister and rotten was brewing deep inside of me, and I had to leave the midwest to fulfill my destiny as a reeelapse jizz towel, saving him from a lifetime of pain and misery.

[hipster holocaust]

rapelapse

[cold radiance]

I'm just saying, I was fairly innocent and shy before I moved to Portland/started posting here regularly...I'd only slept with one guy, we were 'engaged', and he was a good drug & alcohol-free sucker kid that loved jesus and his mother. fortunately for him, something sinister and rotten was brewing deep inside of me, and I had to leave the midwest to fulfill my destiny as a reeelapse jizz towel, saving him from a lifetime of pain and misery.

Sounds like you escaped, not him.

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

u, i guess it just depends on who you ask. i can see it both ways... i had a kind of unconventional upbringing, so the stability and determination of a person who truly felt they were "doing the right thing" while being so sweet and intelligent...i don't know, i envied that. i LIKE innocent, normal guys. i LIKE it, i just can't live that way without blowing the whole thing up after a while, i'll always be a volatile mess.

the dude finished school, got a job in the town he grew up in, and owns a house and some cars now. gets to travel a lot and has sex with girls far better looking than myself. where i am, or who i want to be is miles away from the things he values. it was meant to be, and it "was" for the perfect amount of time. if it weren't for his ability to help me control my impulses and the fact that he begged his mom to let me move in with them, i might not have ever been able to save the money to move out of my mom's trailer...without going to jail or something first...At that point in time, my mom had multiple 'boyfriends' and there were always gnarly people/drugs around. I loathed her very existence, the loose morals, etc. She would rub it in my face, thought I was 'wasting' my youth by not going out and partying, by staying home reading or doing whatever. Her boyfriends would say "your daughter's hot, id fuck her" in front of her, and she'd just laugh like "yeah, i made that!" She would access my bank account and drain it, citing "bills" or whatever.

If not for that first guy, I'm not sure where I'd be. I'm grateful for his existence.


ok, umesh, stop. i'm so easily swayed into giving my life story, what a chump. hahakdsjf

SPOILERSPOILER_SHOW

in before someone says, "hurr, now you're just like your mom!" -- she's a weird born-again hardcore bible thumper now. i will suicide before that happens to me, so no worries.

[Necrometer]

Amelia, post a list of which forum-goers you've boned, or shut the fuck up.

Also, you're never going to suicide so please stop teasing us.

[Phritz]

didn't you quit the board for a year or two after the whole mdf fest debacle?

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

ok, here's the list

SPOILERSPOILER_SHOW

1. ross
2. necrometer
3. ross
4. ross
5. ross
6. lord beguile

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

didn't you quit the board for a year or two after the while mdf fest debacle?

i was banned for scrolling during a period of heavy psychosis brought on by excessive drug ingestion and self-imposed isolation...

[cold radiance]

u, i guess it just depends on who you ask. i can see it both ways... i had a kind of unconventional upbringing, so the stability and determination of a person who truly felt they were "doing the right thing" while being so sweet and intelligent...i don't know, i envied that. i LIKE innocent, normal guys. i LIKE it, i just can't live that way without blowing the whole thing up after a while, i'll always be a volatile mess.

I've never understood the feminine complaint of "don't get near me, I'm too fucked up, I'll just ruin your life", etc. Buyer beware, you know? Let your freak flag fly. Besides...everyone is fucked up, esp. Christians. "Nice or normal" people are either so repressed they're a seething mass of confused impulses or they're so dead inside it's simple for them to conform to a vanilla life. You know the old Nietzsche thing about confusing nature vs. imposed "beneficial" traits. A lot of the time people find it easy to live "sane", balanced, utterly stale/boring lives because there was never a chance for them to do anything else. Don't confuse lukewarm for peaceful.

[The Wages of Ben]

SPOILERSPOILER_SHOW

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

I've never understood the feminine complaint of "don't get near me, I'm too fucked up, I'll just ruin your life", etc.

Probably because anyone that likes you BECAUSE you're fucked up is obviously fucked up too, which is wholly unattractive.

I guess it's easier to throw a little half-joke warning out there and hope that they'll enjoy your company DESPITE everything...seems healthier somehow.

[Kurt Russell's Beard]

Amelia, were you on drugs that year at MDF when you kept bugging me? You seemed totally unstable. Are you better now? Or is that just...you?

EDIT: Maybe you don't even remember this. My memory's foggy too. You kept latching on to me and trying to put your tongue in my face saying how normal and adorable I was. It got to the point where security was called on you, and I think one of the guys in General Surgery was getting ready to punch your face.

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

I don't know how to answer that, I guess you'd have to ask people that know me in person. I don't remember if I was on anything else, but I was definitely having an alcohol-soaked manic episode...the entire weekend. Completely sober, I'm generally reserved and nervous until backed into a corner...but yeah, I can't really answer that myself.

I apologize again for harassing you so, sometimes I latch on to a single idea, object, or person and can't let it go. You, unfortunately, stood out. Oops.

[The Wages of Ben]

I can think of at least one....

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

I can think of at least one....

interstate motels

[the awesome Assassin]

I can think of at least one....

What?! Even you!!!

[Necrometer]

I still remember coming back from that weekend to find Amelia claiming that I was "off", socially... apparently because I didn't jump in and reciprocate the dry-hump sexual assault she brought my way? Fucking psycho.

[Kurt Russell's Beard]

I don't know how to answer that, I guess you'd have to ask people that know me in person. I don't remember if I was on anything else, but I was definitely having an alcohol-soaked manic episode...the entire weekend. Completely sober, I'm generally reserved and nervous until backed into a corner...but yeah, I can't really answer that myself.

I apologize again for harassing you so, sometimes I latch on to a single idea, object, or person and can't let it go. You, unfortunately, stood out. Oops.

It's in the past. Thanks for the apology.

You're probably a great conversationalist when sober. Too bad. Don't get too drunk at these things, okay?