Since I buy alot of good, bad and shitty cds, this could get somewhat interesting. Let's kick start this off with a shitty cd.
Beyond Death. I heard the name before, but when I was at the record store I couldn't visualize who they were. The album cover looked like a Madball (the toy, not the band) rip off. The back of the cover looked like some generic brutal death metal band from 1998. It was a buck, so I took a chance on it. Big deal.
Once I got home, I checked out their Metal-Archives entry. That's when it clicked with me. They were a pre-Cannibal Corpse thrash band, but not the good one (Tyrant Sin). Anyways, they reformed without anyone from Cannibal Corpse (why would Jack Owens or Alex Webster rejoin this fucking band?). So no one noticed.
I can't say this was a total waste. It was either this or a Mcdonalds double-cheese burger. I mean, this is better than a McDonalds Double Cheeseburger atleast. It's giving me random message board fodder, so that dollar is atleast paid for.
They have a ton of images ripped right out of Google Image Search. There's the famous fat lady stuck in shower and that Max Hardcore fisting pic. Plus some hilariously bad MS paint drawing of a woman getting raped or something. Totally classy stuff.
The bassist is wearing a retarded Suicidal-style hat. The guitarist looks like one of the Bloodsoaked triplets, and the drummer is sporting a sweet pedo-moustache. Notice how lame the song titles are. One thing you won't notice is how out of order the fucking track listing is. I have to reedit all the fucking song titles to match them later... because it's all fucked up.
Their sound is pretty fucking generic. Before I listened to it, I was expecting some totally generic Brutal Death Metal. Beyond Death is more of a thrash band with some Death Metal leanings though. It sounds like if Celtic Frost, Gwar and the Mentors decided to team together and make the shittiest attempt of a Death / Thrash band ever.
and the fucking lyrics. Read this shit:
"I want all you xasthur fans out there
to listen up cause because i don't care
you spit out loud to 'suck my dick'
i'll smash your brains and rip off your prick
be careful of what you have to say
i'll condemn you to a life of gay
listen up don't fuck with me
so suck your own little pee pee"
Thought provoking.
Anyways, not only do they have stupid song titles, retarded lyrics, they look stupid, they have terrible art, images ripped straight out of 1999, and they had no reason of reforming. They also use samples in just about every song. Not even funny ones, or gory ones or anything. Just straight up retarded samples from the Clerks or Army of Darkness or any other movie you've heard sampled atleast 100 times.
It's like if Ragman started a band, this is what they would sound and look like.
