I hate Nile and they didn't even...

Music posts are a bannable offense.
Bored001

Fri Dec 17, 2010 4:13 pm

say hello when my deathcore band opened for them.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=249645
The Essential Guide to Shitting on Your Legacy - 9%

Written by MutantClannfear on October 27th, 2010

Where to start, where to start...I have no idea. I first bought Annihilation of the Wicked, desired more from this band, found this to be their newest CD, and bought it. Now it's hard to listen to AotW, thanks to this pile of festering wolf shit. This album is not an Egyptian-themed album, as Nile's 2005 work was. This is a parody album making fun of true Egyptian riffage. It is, as the review title suggests, your best bet if you're trying to discover the best way to destroy all respect and credibility your fans have so graciously given you over the years.

Let's start with Karl Sanders. Half the problem with this entire album is the fact that most of the vocals are not growls: they are chants or spoken word. It's not good spoken word, either: Karl is using what sounds like half-assed shouts as if he was thinking about what to order from McDonald's after the recording session was over. At other times, he makes the shouts too dramatic. No, Karl, this is not a rendition of Romeo and Juliet. This is a technical death metal album. The lyrics are about as crappily implemented as can be. Let me call your attention to the song "Hittite Dung Incantation". Although all the lyrics of this album are stupid, wannabe-brutal, or boring, this song's lyrics take the fucking cake for being composed of piles of "foul canine excrement". Yes, that's an actual lyric from the song. The choice of vocal style is pathetic, too; He shouts the lines "foul canine excrement", followed by guttural growling of "with barley flour". It would probably work if it was "Barley flour with foul canine excrement", but it doesn't matter. Here, Karl proves that he's just not poetic enough to create a song about smearing yourself with dog shit that isn't a laughingstock. For the rest of the songs, the overall presentation of the lyrics is just too straightfoward and boring. A lot of it looks complex, but a close look past the Egyptian words and titles will reveal lyrics written by a mentally retarded third-grader. The song "Those Whom the Gods Detest" goes on and on about how "I refuse the orders of this god, I'm not afraid of death, I challenge these holy texts..." It's not only an idea that's been recycled to the point of redundance, but the very words on this song (as well as all the others) are so blunt that you honestly can take nothing seriously in this whole album.

That's one pain in the ass out of the way. One down, two to go. The guitars. Well, most of the actual riffage on this album is tremolo guitarwork mixed with a chord sweeped up and down to make it sound "brutally Egyptian". Of course, there aren't many actual riffs on this album. Most of the guitar work is chugging in the form of mindless slams (the bridge of "Kafir") and death metal-style breakdowns (the goddamn entirety of the 9-minute song "4th Arra of Dagon") with about as much thought put into them as a person puts into breathing while asleep. The solos are boring, and basically consist of more wanking than you'll find in the college dorm of a dozen single virgins. They never stick with you; the only thing you'll remember of them is how technical they were: so technical, in fact, that you cannot remember a fucking thing about them. And we all know it's great when you can't remember how great it was, right? A lot of the songs also seem to steal riffs from Annihilation and turn them into boring nonsense. "Kem Khefa Khesef" takes the main riff of "Cast Down the Heretic", "The Eye of Ra" takes after "The Burning Pits of the Duat", and "Iskander Dhul Kharnon" feels like a cheap second-rate knock-off of "Annihilation of the Wicked". Like I said, though, these are not the songs you know and love: they've been infused with idiocy so as to prevent decency from coming near. Anyway, the bass isn't doing anything important, that is, when the guitars aren't blasted so high that it's impossible to hear yourself thinking, let alone the bass guitar.

George Kollias. Is he technical? Hell yes. Is he fun to listen to? Not in the slightest sense of the word. The drums are fast, yeah, and he's technical, but can George Kollias do anything but throw fills around all day for this album? Blast-beats are hard to find, but there's a near-constant blast on the double bass that never lets up. Not really a complaint, just an observation. But truly, this guy can never stop doing fills. At the end of every measure, hell, sometimes in the middle of one, he'll start a random fill to let you realize his prowess!

Wow...this is pathetic in so many ways. Pseudo-Egyptian riffs that are hard-pressed to be called even death metal, shouting vocals that sound bored and uninterested, and a drummer that has a muscle spasm at the end of every measure. If I were to sum it up in a sentence, I'd call it...intentional de-evolution of a great idea. This album sucks green gangrenous goat gonads...avoid as if it were a Linkin Park record.


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Tony Twist
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Fri Dec 17, 2010 4:17 pm

What in the hell is "true Egyptian riffage"? Did the pharoahs shred way back in the day? Is Nile not paying them their dues?

VueeeuVueeeeuV
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Fri Dec 17, 2010 4:23 pm

I remember when I was first discovering the joys of mixing marijuana and music. I put in black seeds of vengance, which I really loved at that point, and was expecting to be blown away. I remember I kept thinking "why is there always a useless drumbeat in between the useful ones" or something, and never listened to them again.
Exterminate. EXTERMINATE!

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Toxicarius
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Fri Dec 17, 2010 4:30 pm

I'm going to fight this MutantClannfear creature. :ax:

Bored001

Fri Dec 17, 2010 4:32 pm

Let me call your attention to the song "Hittite Dung Incantation". Although all the lyrics of this album are stupid, wannabe-brutal, or boring, this song's lyrics take the fucking cake for being composed of piles of "foul canine excrement". Yes, that's an actual lyric from the song. The choice of vocal style is pathetic, too; He shouts the lines "foul canine excrement", followed by guttural growling of "with barley flour". It would probably work if it was "Barley flour with foul canine excrement", but it doesn't matter. Here, Karl proves that he's just not poetic enough to create a song about smearing yourself with dog shit that isn't a laughingstock.
My favorite part.

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dreweq
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Fri Dec 17, 2010 4:36 pm

it's still funny to me how they yanked some rick wakeman themes from the creepshow 2 score for a tune on "annihilation".

Bored001

Fri Dec 17, 2010 4:38 pm

Karl Sanders is 47 years old.

dick manfuck
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Fri Dec 17, 2010 6:05 pm

Metamucil & Prune-Juice Dung Incantation
BUCKLE UP FAGS

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spacehamster
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Fri Dec 17, 2010 6:16 pm

Tony Twist wrote:What in the hell is "true Egyptian riffage"?
I still say up to and including Seeds, Nile was unfuckwithable, but they always had more to do with... I dunno, the Clash of the Titans soundtrack than Egyptian music.
storm shadow wrote:This is what happens when people use the internet to get through adolescence, instead of drugs and heavy metal.

Bored001

Fri Dec 17, 2010 6:21 pm

To be fair, it's hard to write "epic" metal these days without sounding like utter pants-shitting cheeseballs or an Italian power metal band.

Nile's main problem is the expiration date on the harmonic minor scale.

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spacehamster
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Fri Dec 17, 2010 6:22 pm

Bored001 wrote: Nile's main problem is the expiration date on the harmonic minor scale.
Ha. Yeah. I don't think this review here is particularly good, but the guy's dead on about them recycling their own riffs to the point where it's just painful.
storm shadow wrote:This is what happens when people use the internet to get through adolescence, instead of drugs and heavy metal.

Bored001

Fri Dec 17, 2010 6:27 pm

Eh, I just want some widdly. I don't go to Nile for life lessons. They still bring the Heavy.

dick manfuck
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Fri Dec 17, 2010 6:31 pm

Fuck, this album is sounding better than I remember.....must be all the shit music I've been listening to lately.
BUCKLE UP FAGS

dick manfuck
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Fri Dec 17, 2010 6:32 pm

...a lot better than I remember....
BUCKLE UP FAGS

Bored001

Fri Dec 17, 2010 6:35 pm

dick manfuck wrote:...a lot better than I remember....
Because they actually know what they're doing.

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Deez Nutz
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Fri Dec 17, 2010 6:54 pm

Nile is gay and boring.

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CROSTY
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Fri Dec 17, 2010 7:09 pm

Image

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Raw Ting
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Fri Dec 17, 2010 7:15 pm

That sucks that Karl didn't introduce himself, Bored.

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Frickin' Slayer
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Fri Dec 17, 2010 8:35 pm

Bored001 wrote:
dick manfuck wrote:...a lot better than I remember....
Because they actually know what they're doing.
:roll: duz the libra butt-kissing of genmini's hav no end? i say that because kolonel sanders is a genmini. maybe u did knew?
http://myspace.com/scarydeathmetal
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Bored001

Fri Dec 17, 2010 8:41 pm

Frickin' Slayer wrote:
Bored001 wrote:
dick manfuck wrote:...a lot better than I remember....
Because they actually know what they're doing.
:roll: duz the libra butt-kissing of genmini's hav no end? i say that because kolonel sanders is a genmini. maybe u did knew?
Well shit, brother...I know now.

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Frickin' Slayer
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Fri Dec 17, 2010 8:44 pm

:moreawesome: ya,i find that is very common,most of the bands i listen to r comprised of peeps with signs compatible with my own
http://myspace.com/scarydeathmetal
riley-o wrote:i'm also a scorpio, not an aries.

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CROSTY
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Fri Dec 17, 2010 9:38 pm

Image :gong:

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Scarlet Bro Hansen
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Sat Dec 18, 2010 2:59 am

The review reads like it was written by Teufel
james wrote:im not downloading LeakyRapes

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Scarlet Bro Hansen
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Sat Dec 18, 2010 3:00 am

Deez Nutz wrote:Nile is gay and boring.
So are you.
james wrote:im not downloading LeakyRapes

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