I have THE FARTS

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Black Jacques
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Re: I have THE FARTS

Post by Black Jacques »

Pisscubes wrote:
I just went to the bathroom and had a THE FARTS for a full ten seconds. I mean just one long ten second blast.
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbfnNy9dm2k<
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takeasneededforpain
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Re: I have THE FARTS

Post by takeasneededforpain »

My dinner was a couple handfuls of pistachios and a can of smoked oysters.

I predict tonight's THE FARTS will be a piquant blend of Auschwitz and an anchovies cunt.

(Memorials to my wife can be donated to Young-Williams Animal Shelter)

I'm half tempted to get a sixer of PBR and just make sure she stays dead.
Eat shit and live...
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Re: I have THE FARTS

Post by \m/Johnny\m/ »

Boxed wine hangover farts. I've already made myself gag once today.
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Re: I have THE FARTS

Post by Dr Yail Bloor »

did a loud FART that sounded like a duck quack/fat man clapping in front of two student girls in a local park, i simply said 'and you cant say fairer than that' and walked off.
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CROSTY
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Re: I have THE FARTS

Post by CROSTY »

PPOIDH
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delmuerte
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Re: I have THE FARTS

Post by delmuerte »

This has my entire office dying over here.
DanBehavingBadly wrote:Image
Image
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Re: I have THE FARTS

Post by \m/Johnny\m/ »

I've had a bit of the bubble guts today. As soon as I finished my lunch I had that emergency shit panic and ran to the bathroom. I sat down, thinking I was going to fill the bowl with soft-serve in under 2 seconds. It was just 90 seconds of the loudest, uninterrupted growling you can imagine, then nothing. Not a drop or a nugget. It was mildly disappointing... like when a bottle rocket doesn't blow up.
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- GLENN DANZIG "literally a rotating cast of gigantic wigged infants," claims former tour manager
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Re: I have THE FARTS

Post by \m/Johnny\m/ »

It just happened again. Guys, I'm scared.
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- GLENN DANZIG "literally a rotating cast of gigantic wigged infants," claims former tour manager
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Re: I have THE FARTS

Post by Geeheeb »

this is one of the things about turning 50 that they DON'T tell you about in school
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Re: I have THE FARTS

Post by Ghost Dad »

Really? The silent and lingering ones are like comedy landmines in our place.
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Re: I have THE FARTS

Post by hipster holocaust »

It's been almost 2 1/2 years and I still feel weird about beefin in front of the missus. I think I slipped up once or twice, and even then trying covering up with a cough.

She's not even stuck-up at or anything, just never got that comfy I guess :oops:
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Tim Hudson
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Re: I have THE FARTS

Post by Tim Hudson »

Image

Essential for close quarters such as office environments
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Re: I have THE FARTS

Post by Introvert »

After an afternoon of eating some spicy BBQ and a long night of drinking and capping it off with a 3am burrito, my 12 mile walk today was a bit noisy. Luckily no worries of shart invasion.
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electronichamz
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I have THE FARTS

Post by electronichamz »

Over the last few days, my egg intake has been higher than normal which correlates to magnificent egg THE FARTS. I caught a stomach virus (THE PLAGUE) from my youngest who had vomited all over me multiple times. I was puking my guts out the other night when I felt this horrid pressure in my ass region. My thought process as I was retching the remainder of the undigested food and bile from my stomach was I wish I recorded this for the board and this might be a blast of shredded shit but I'll chance it. The stakes were high but I managed to let out a loud THE FART. As I was recovering from my cramping stomach, I caught this waft of rotten eggs. It caused me to puke even harder than before. I really wish I caught all this on my phone since I am a super loud puker.
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hipster holocaust
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Re: I have THE FARTS

Post by hipster holocaust »

electronichamz wrote:Over the last few days, my egg intake has been higher than normal which correlates to magnificent egg THE FARTS. I caught a stomach virus (THE PLAGUE) from my youngest who had vomited all over me multiple times. I was puking my guts out the other night when I felt this horrid pressure in my ass region. My thought process as I was retching the remainder of the undigested food and bile from my stomach was I wish I recorded this for the board and this might be a blast of shredded shit but I'll chance it. The stakes were high but I managed to let out a loud THE FART. As I was recovering from my cramping stomach, I caught this waft of rotten eggs. It caused me to puke even harder than before. I really wish I caught all this on my phone since I am a super loud puker.
Keep in mind that you can admit that you The Shitted your The Pants.
Chad wrote: Sun Dec 27, 2020 12:07 pm I'm not a fascist, I follow a bunch of Japanese rabbit owners on Twitter bc rabbits are cute
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electronichamz
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I have THE FARTS

Post by electronichamz »

I actually didn't though. I've shit myself a lot and have had no issues admitting to this.
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Re: I have THE FARTS

Post by electronichamz »

My THE FARTS are really fucking bad right now. I am actually forcing them out with zero care if I shit myself and so far its been POWER AIR
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Re: I have THE FARTS

Post by BUNGVOX »

i have been recording my farts onto my phone for nearly a year. i am about to put them all onto my digital recorder and see how long the sum total fartage is.
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Re: I have THE FARTS

Post by Toxicarius »

Attn. Costco shoppers: Beware their Garlic Parmesan Bread. It's tasty as hell, but don't be fooled... something evil lurks therein. For the second night in a row my THE FARTS are of a particularly wicked vintage. The aroma contains hints of garlic and undeath, and is so foul I have to walk away from myself. If I dropped one of these THE FARTS in a crowded room I'd cause a panicked stampede and trampled death. So enjoy the bread if you will, but be mindful of the timing so that no innocents come to harm. Ser biz.
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Re: I have THE FARTS

Post by Ray »

BUNGVOX wrote:i have been recording my farts onto my phone for nearly a year. i am about to put them all onto my digital recorder and see how long the sum total fartage is.
:tup: :tup:

I wish I still had those 2 farts I recorded when I was in 8th grade with Windows sound recorder, they were loud as hell and pitch perfect. I was a nice kid
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Re: I have THE FARTS

Post by BUNGVOX »

this weekend. i'm going to finally put this 'shit' together.
BUNGVOX

Re: I have THE FARTS

Post by BUNGVOX »

so the fart recording sesh is underway....it is shaping up to be the anal cunt 5000 song 7inch of shit wind.

i shall be sharing before the weekend is through
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hipster holocaust
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Re: I have THE FARTS

Post by hipster holocaust »

Pisscubes wrote:hahah-- I just keep imaging you taking out your phone like a business executive about to make a verbal note like, "Note: tell Kathy to cancel my 11 o'clock and push our end of quarter meeting up a week" but instead, you put it by your ass and rip.
:lol:
Chad wrote: Sun Dec 27, 2020 12:07 pm I'm not a fascist, I follow a bunch of Japanese rabbit owners on Twitter bc rabbits are cute
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Re: I have THE FARTS

Post by BUNGVOX »

plenty of office specials on this bad boy
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Re: I have THE FARTS

Post by The Bill »

I thought it was just a fruit juice with acai berries, but I didn't see it was a fiber Drink. The farts are two days long now.
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