thread of audio abominations and various heresies.

[The Real MPD]

[Necrometer]

the vocals

and here's another simpsons-referencing piece of garbage


when I heard about this Flanders band I was like "why even bother existing until you guys have a music video"

I guess I was wrong

[Cascade Whore]

[Cascade Whore]

I keep hearing this shit at work. I know some asshole here likes this.

[Necrometer]

girlfriend claimed she can't tell the difference between creed / nickelback / pearl jam / alice in chains / three doors down / kid rock ... so I've been quizzing her

which led me to this unbelievable turd:

[Cascade Whore]

[featherboa]

is that a headress?

[Necrometer]

ya, it features prominently here:

[featherboa]

Kids these days

[Geeheeb]

how does a fresh green branch burn? kids these days

[Geeheeb]

laptop ball and chain lol

[the awesome Assassin]

ya, it features prominently here:

If this was in 3D you would love it...

[Foot Foot]

so i ordered a Skeleton of God album and my package came with this compilation that had all this ultra-embarrassing Dirt Mall Metal on it.

comp is dated 2015, but none of it sounds like it was recorded any later than 1997.

[Foot Foot]

[Cascade Whore]

Holy fuck.

I can't wait to crack into that barrel of shit

[FVBTVS]

[Cascade Whore]

That was like a band that wants to be gwar crossed with genitorturers but ends up being more retarded than Shat and Green jelly without the self awareness.

[Foot Foot]

That was like a band that wants to be gwar crossed with genitorturers but ends up being more retarded than Shat and Green jelly without the self awareness.

Kettle Cadaver + Bad Luck 13 + Lordi + club scene from Strangeland + Slam Metal = profit

[FVBTVS]

That was like a band that wants to be gwar crossed with genitorturers but ends up being more retarded than Shat and Green jelly without the self awareness.

Kettle Cadaver + Bad Luck 13 + Lordi + club scene from Strangeland + Slam Metal = profit

+Smegma

[Cascade Whore]

+ the strippers at anal blast and death kid shows

[Cascade Whore]

I don't really want to have to look up what kettle cadaver is.

[copstache]

holy christ, foot foot's post on the last page

i listened to all of that

[Necrometer]

saving that for a night when I'm truly ready to die

[Cascade Whore]

Okay so I skim listened/watched all that shit. I'm slightly disappointed it's not EVEN more terrible than I wanted it to be. Most of those bands would just be bad and really boring but then the vocals kick in and make it ten times worse. Some of it is just generic retro trash with off putting garbage vocals. Skinmask and strobe light eye are stand out beacons of trash. Dannyjoe carter made me almost fall out of my chair when the vocals kicked in. The singer from space metal doing pantomime was worth the price of admission, you could say he was prowling the stage like a..... intrepid bastards get special achievement award for wtf ultra grim possible racist useage of all black criminal behavior documentary footage for their video. I wonder what band dragonheart wishes they were. Power metal dorks that solo through the entire track and thank god for no vocals (at least I didn't hear, I scrubbed through the track pretty good didn't listen to the full 5 minutes of it) I actually liked a riff that same vein played but I'm a no good piece of dog shit. I could see myself hanging out with erick13 on a cruise ship stoned on resin scraped out of a miller highlife can while they play. Vocals were total junk.

Again thanks foot foot 8.9 out of 10. Would have been 10 if all the bands could have been as totally awful as the truly horrific ones.

[Cascade Whore]

Also the members of dannyjoe carter look like fucked versions of wrestlers. You've got Kevin Nash with five inches of his spine removed. Strip club by the laundromat manager Dusty Rhodes and, I don't know, yuppie Vampiro?