things that make you rationally angry

[Ray]

Those things create jawbs too, Kriekic.

[hipster holocaust]

Self checkout dawg

So I guess you like putting people out of jobs?

If it means not having to deal with assholes, absolutely.

[electronichamz]

My job

[hipster holocaust]

https://www.vice.com/read/i-learned-the ... e=vicefbus

[Introvert]

Self checkout dawg

So I guess you like putting people out of jobs?

I'm usually quicker at bagging my own stuff and I'm much more pleasant to talk to

[hipster holocaust]

My job

I think we all enjoy hearing about how shitty your job is. Please elaborate.

[Geeheeb]

my understanding is that other people who had done something like mrs. clinton with her email servers would have been prosecuted, but not this time.

[electronichamz]

my understanding is that other people who had done something like mrs. clinton with her email servers would have been prosecuted, but not this time.

hahahahahaha

[electronichamz]

My job

I think we all enjoy hearing about how shitty your job is. Please elaborate.

Unfortunately, it is just me dealing with derelicts every day.

[FVBTVS]

lawn guys who park their truck and trailer and all that bullshit directly on the street instead of pulling into the fucking driveway of the house they're working on

[Ray]

I don't think I've ever seen them park in someone's driveway, ever

[electronichamz]

At least here, they drive up to this cul de sac type area.

[FVBTVS]

there are days where i'm just driving serpentine for half a mile because theres so many of these xasthur fans with their shit on the street

[Joe Buck]

lawn guys who park their truck and trailer and all that bullshit directly on the street instead of pulling into the fucking driveway of the house they're working on

You just have to drive around them.

[hipster holocaust]

My job

I think we all enjoy hearing about how shitty your job is. Please elaborate.

Unfortunately, it is just me dealing with derelicts every day.

Stop being a dick and tell us a story. It's slow as fuck today...

[electronichamz]

Sigh

Let me spin you up on J

When I started out at this place, I wasn't on J's shift. I would only hear stories about him and his lack of brain cells. Here is a brief summary of who I deal with 4 out of the 5 days of my work week.

J started dating this chick when she was a Senior in high school here. Kind of sad that a military member is going to a high school prom. Fucking loser. Anyways, what I have gathered is that she is bipolar. Of all the immature drama that happened between her running up his credit card, cheating on him, threatening to leave him, she would end up pregnant, things would get better between them, then she would miscarry (maybe abort) and they would go right back at it. Finally, he was arrested about 8 months ago for assault as she was spazzing and hitting him, so he grabbed her by the neck and shoved her in a closet, locking her in it until the cops came. Because of this, he lost his clearance for about 6 months and was demoted. During the time he didn't have a clearance, he was supposed to be doing things like CLEAN THE FUCKING BUILDING, but instead he would hang out with this other guy that was on the path to getting kicked out. Because of this wonderful influence, he stopped cleaning, would disappear a lot, and started vaping. Fast forward, he gets his clearance back about the time I got moved to his shift. I get this whole thing about him and how no one has held him accountable and/or mentored him showing him the right way. UGH. His first day on shift, he would just dodge work all together, so this caused me to lose my shit as I put him at attention and screamed at him for being a loser. He cried.....he cried a lot. Fucking loser. After that moment, he seemed to actually do better. He was supposed to be divorcing that crazy bitch. She moved to Colorado Springs to go to school, but ended up pregnant again so he stopped the divorce process, went and picked her up, and now they are having the baby. LETS PAUSE FOR A MINUTE. The conception date lines up with her being in Colorado Springs. NOT HERE. He doesn't seem to understand that. Multiple people have explained this to him. DOES NOT COMPUTE. So she is having this baby that is likely not his on the Air Force's dime. Anyways, he has all of these "mandatory appointments" due to him beating her and marriage counseling and such. He abuses this depending who is on shift since some other shift leads are totally oblivious to anything going on around them. Therefore, he has been disappearing a lot at work. After I found out about this, I caught him in his lies in a counseling session and caused him to cry again without even yelling. He just kept apologizing over and fucking over about how he wouldn't fuck up again. Fucking loser. I caught him with his feet on a desk one day, kicked his boots hard as fuck and he had the balls to tell me he has a doctor's order to keep his feet elevated. If you have some sort of medical condition like this, there is an official document you will have to allow this. He has yet to show it to me. The other day, he "couldn't sit down" because his "butt problem" was acting up. We have desks that elevate so his ass can fucking stand anyways. He kept whining to go home. I let him know he is to work or go to the emergency room and if he goes to the emergency room, he is to show me proof. He went and the doctor told him to buy Preparation H. HAHAHA FUCKING LOSER. I caught him on Facebook at work, IN A CLASSIFIED FACILITY, in which we are forbidden for reasons like YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FUCKING WORKING, and his excuse was that its the only way his wife can get a hold of him since she doesn't have a phone. The next day, he told me that she texted him this funny picture and I cut him off, caught him in his lie from the previous day, and made him cry AGAIN. I hate this dude. All of this is complete petty shit, but when you deal with it everyday, it is just mentally draining. He is going to severely go downhill when he founds out that baby isn't his and I will be gone before it happens.

[The Bill]

"Active fighter" or not, why is this guy in the military? Can't you make him peel 5 million potatoes?

[electronichamz]

If his prior leadership would have done their jobs correctly, they would have either gotten him booted or straightened him out. I blame his prior supervision who were very Laissez-Faire. He is coming up on his reenlistment and I believe they are going to deny it so he'll be out soon enough.

[The Bill]

Mmm. In the meantime, make him peel 5 million potatoes.

[electronichamz]

We have another loser who is literally on his way out of the military. Let's call him C. Here is the results of the surprise dorm room inspection I did on C:

SPOILERSPOILER_SHOW

When we told him this was happening, he tried leaving real fast from work to beat us to his dorm. However, he messed something up bad and they called him back to fix it. He was crying walking down the hall before we even got to his room. When he opened it his door, the smell of rotting garlic and onions overwhelmed the floor. What is not shown here is the pie crust sitting on his floor. Three days prior to this, he made Quiche for the shift. Of course no one ate it. He was given a direct order to never make food for public consumption at work again.

[electronichamz]

Mmm. I the meantime, make him peel 5 million potatoes.

I wish we had the potatoes to peel. Instead, he, and the other losers, make the building look immaculate if they fuck off while I am at work.

[hipster holocaust]

These are not what I was expecting to be as genuinely entertaining as PAUL's misadventures

Thanks anyway. Would read again...

[electronichamz]

Trust me, if I ever had anything remotely close to Paul's life, I would let you guys know.

[The Bill]

These are not what I was expecting to be as genuinely entertaining as PAUL's misadventures

Thanks anyway. Would read again...

Ha, you wanted comedic adventures. Instead you got grown men crying because of they're slobs with hemorrhoids.

[hipster holocaust]

I sincerely hope that you enjoyed them