Crazy relative email blasts

[hipster holocaust]

Some good thoughts. . .worth reading.
Apparently the White House referred to Christmas Trees as Holiday Trees for the first time this year which prompted CBS presenter, Steven Levy, to present this piece which I would like to share with you. I think it applies just as much to many countries as it does to America .
A little sanity please...

Only hope we find GOD again before it is too late!!
The following was written by Steven Levy and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.

My confession:

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat...

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.
In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc.. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school... The Bible says thou shalt not kill; thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Steven Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about.. And we said okay..

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing yet?


Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it. Or you’re afraid you might offend someone! (GS)

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit.
If not, then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.

[Cascade Whore]

Hahahaha "the athiest bitch.... She was murderd you know"

[Necrometer]

Some good thoughts. . .worth reading.
Apparently the White House referred to Christmas Trees as Holiday Trees for the first time this year which prompted CBS presenter, Steven Levy, to present this piece which I would like to share with you. I think it applies just as much to many countries as it does to America .
A little sanity please...

Only hope we find GOD again before it is too late!!
The following was written by Steven Levy and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.

My confession:

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat...

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.
In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc.. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school... The Bible says thou shalt not kill; thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Steven Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about.. And we said okay..

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing yet?


Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it. Or you’re afraid you might offend someone! (GS)

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit.
If not, then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.

killer bump

crazy uncle shared this one on FB

!?!?!?!

[Toilet Fleet]

it's like a shitty puzzle and the reward is understanding that nonsensical fuckin picture

[Necrometer]

hahahaha, it's probably bin laden hiding in there!

I just noticed that the deer's black vest says "minutemen militia" in black ink, so... yeah still no clue

[hipster holocaust]

The deer is wearing a suicide vest.


...right?

[ghost boner]

i think it means were easy prey to the terries but that if they think about messing with us we have passports and armor to protect us so they better think twice? apparently refugees are terrified of our passports? fuck i dont fucking know fuck it. it made sense for a second

[Cascade Whore]

Not exactly on the same level of crazy. I snickered at this.

[riley-o]

I just read the last page on this thread and was reminded of when for a couple weeks there you couldn't escape the debates about the merits of the cunting CONFEDERATE FLAG.

[riley-o]

I've had a couple facebook relatives share this.

Their dads are dead

SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"
DAD: "Yeah sure, what is it?"
SON: "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?"
DAD: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?"
SON: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?"
DAD: "If you must know, I make $100 an hour."
SON: "Oh! (With his head down).
SON: "Daddy, may I please borrow $50?"
The father was furious.
DAD: "If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior."

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.
The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think:
Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $ 50 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

DAD: "Are you asleep, son?"

SON: "No daddy, I'm awake".
DAD: "I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier. It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $50 you asked for."

The little boy sat straight up, smiling.
SON: "Oh, thank you daddy!"
Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

DAD: "Why do you want more money if you already have some?"

SON: "Because I didn't have enough, but now I do.

"Daddy, I have $100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you."
The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness. It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $100 worth of your time with someone you love? If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family and friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our family.

Some things are more important.

[Wormholegenerator]

[hipster holocaust]

I like the list of 13 things that I as a citizen want.

This is why Trump is zooming ahead. He is at least talking about issues that most Americans are concerned about. My mantra about Trump is this: We are usually in agreement with most of what he says but wish someone else was saying it. We are getting older and our tickers aren't what they used to be...so here is Our Special Bucket List for 2015,16....

HERE IS WHAT WE WANT..

1. !

2. Put "GOD" back in America!!!

3. Borders: Closed!

4. Congress: On the same retirement & healthcare plans as everybody else .

5. Congress: Obey its own laws NOW!

6. Language: English only!

7. Culture: Constitution and the Bill of Rights!

8. Drug Free: Mandatory Drug Screening before & during Welfare!

9. Freebies: NONE to Non-Citizens!

10. Budget: Balance the darn thing!

11. Foreign Countries: Stop giving them our money! Charge them for our help! We need it here.

12. Fix the TAX CODE!

And most of all.

13. "RESPECT OUR MILITARY AND OUR FLAG!!"

We the people are coming! Only 86% will send this on. Should be a 100%.

What will you do?

Please send it on; if only to one person.

[riley-o]

Is #1 really just an exclamation mark

[hipster holocaust]

I'm glad you found that as awesome as I did

[godofdeadlydeath]

I've had a couple facebook relatives share this.

Their dads are dead

SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"
DAD: "Yeah sure, what is it?"
SON: "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?"
DAD: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?"
SON: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?"
DAD: "If you must know, I make $100 an hour."
SON: "Oh! (With his head down).
SON: "Daddy, may I please borrow $50?"
The father was furious.
DAD: "If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior."

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.
The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think:
Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $ 50 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

DAD: "Are you asleep, son?"

SON: "No daddy, I'm awake".
DAD: "I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier. It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $50 you asked for."

The little boy sat straight up, smiling.
SON: "Oh, thank you daddy!"
Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

DAD: "Why do you want more money if you already have some?"

SON: "Because I didn't have enough, but now I do.

"Daddy, I have $100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you."
The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness. It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $100 worth of your time with someone you love? If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family and friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our family.

Some things are more important.

Good god, the look of smug self-satisfaction that must have washed over the face of the poor sad fuck who wrote this had to have been immense.

[godofdeadlydeath]

My brother out of NOwhere is now sending me shit about the confederate flag and why everyone has it wrong. It's not even email blasts. It's just like, "Welp, here's what the dude who wrote The Devil Went Down to Georgia has to say about why Obama is a coward, good stuff right?". It's fucking weird.

I would honestly want my brother to get scanned for a brain tumor if he started sending me shit like that out of nowhere.

[hipster holocaust]

The typical U.S. household headed by a person age 65 or older has a net worth 47 times greater than a household headed by someone under 35, according to an analysis of census data released Monday.


They like to refer to us as senior citizens, old fogies, geezers, and in some cases dinosaurs. Some of us are "Baby Boomers" getting ready to retire. Others have been retired for some time. We walk a little slower these days and our eyes and hearing are not what they once were. We worked hard, raised our children, worshiped our God and have grown old together. Yes, we are the ones some refer to as being over the hill, and that is probably true. But before writing us off completely, there are a few things that need to be taken into consideration.


In school we studied English, history, math, and science which enabled us to lead America into the technological age. Most of us remember what outhouses were, many of us with firsthand experience. We remember the days of telephone party-lines, 25 cent gasoline, and milk and ice being delivered to our homes. For those of you who don't know what an icebox is, today they are electric and referred to as refrigerators. A few even remember when cars were started with a crank. Yes, we lived those days.


We are probably considered old fashioned and out-dated by many. But there are a few things you need to remember before completely writing us off. We won World War II, fought in Korea and Viet Nam. We can quote The Pledge of Allegiance, and know where to place our hand while doing so. We wore the uniform of our country with pride and lost many friends on the battlefield. We didn't fight for the Socialist States of America; we fought for the "Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave." We wore different uniforms but carried the same flag. We know the words to the Star Spangled Banner, America, and America the Beautiful by heart, and you may even see some tears running down our cheeks as we sing. We have lived what many of you have only read in history books and we feel no obligation to apologize to anyone for America.


Yes, we are old and slow these days but rest assured, we have at least one good fight left in us. We have loved this country, fought for it, and died for it, and now we are going to save it. It is our country and nobody is going to take it away from us. We took oaths to defend America against all enemies, foreign and domestic, and that is an oath we plan to keep. There are those who want to destroy this land we love but, like our founders, there is no way we are going to remain silent.


It was mostly the young people of this nation who elected Obama and the Democratic Congress. You fell for the "Hope and Change" which in reality was nothing but "Hype and Lies."


You youngsters have tasted socialism and seen evil face to face, and have found you don't like it after all. You make a lot of noise, but most are all too interested in their careers or "Climbing the Social Ladder" to be involved in such mundane things as patriotism and voting. Many of those who fell for the "Great Lie" in 2008 are now having buyer's remorse. With all the education we gave you, you didn't have sense enough to see through the lies and instead drank the 'Kool-Aid.' Now you're paying the price and complaining about it. No jobs, lost mortgages, higher taxes, and less freedom.


This is what you voted for and this is what you got. We entrusted you with the Torch of Liberty and you traded it for a paycheck and a fancy house.


Well, don't worry youngsters, the Grey-Haired Brigade is here, and in 2016 we are going to take back our nation. We may drive a little slower than you would like but we get where we're going, and in 2016 we're going to the polls by the millions.


This land does not belong to the man in the White House nor to the likes of Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and Eric Holder. It belongs to "We the People" and "We the People" plan to reclaim our land and our freedom. We hope this time you will do a better job of preserving it and passing it along to our grandchildren. So the next time you have the chance to say the Pledge of Allegiance, Stand up, put your hand over your heart, honor our country, and thank God for the old geezers of the "Gray-Haired Brigade."



Footnote: This is spot on. I am another Gray-Haired Geezer signing on. I will circulate this to other Gray-Haired Geezers all over this once great county.


Can you feel the ground shaking??? It's not an earthquake, it is a STAMPEDE.


You and I are Members, Don't Delete, Just Read and Pass on.

[riley-o]

"So who did you vote for grandpa ?"
"I voted for GOD and COUNTRY and FREEDOM !"
"You didn't make it to the polling station, did you."
"I fell asleep and almost drowned in my soup dang it !"

[hipster holocaust]

Come by the fireside and tell us more about how Obama sold us out, and not Reagan and Clinton.

[Necrometer]

this page is so awesome

We know the words to the Star Spangled Banner, America, and America the Beautiful by heart, and you may even see some tears running down our cheeks as we sing.

is there really a song just called "america"? google says that Neil Diamond and Simon & Garfunkel both have such a song, but the Team America song comes up first...

[Geeheeb]

Just for you ross, got this email blast, won't call it crazy though:


j kitchel
2:25 PM (5 hours ago)

A friend has written a song protesting the construction of many expensive apartments in Berkeley, median rents $3,000 to $3,500 a month.


https://youtu.be/97bt87Xm4FU?list=PLpsI ... ot39Gcde6n

SPOILERSPOILER_SHOW

[hipster holocaust]

this page is so awesome

We know the words to the Star Spangled Banner, America, and America the Beautiful by heart, and you may even see some tears running down our cheeks as we sing.

is there really a song just called "america"?

Hopefully they're referring to the Team America: World Police theme song.

[hipster holocaust]

I just read the last page on this thread and was reminded of when for a couple weeks there you couldn't escape the debates about the merits of the cunting CONFEDERATE FLAG.

Thanks for reminding me about this. This had me howling once again

Isn't your brother normally like.. Not shitty ?

I have no idea where this stuff is coming from. He won't leave it alone. Last night on social media him and his newish girlfriend were on again about the sacred stars n' bars so I wrote something that pointed out they never gave a fuck about the flag before and the difference between censorship and taking a flag off a government building and etc. I expected there to be a shit show, but just went to bed. This morning I woke up and no one had commented again. But my post was "liked" by some black chick and I think the thread got real quiet because none of these northerners wanted to talk about their southern pride stuff anymore "in front" of a black person.

[Necrometer]

ahahaha, thanks kevin!

maybe I am dumb but I think the anti-build push comes from property owners who wants rents and property values to remain as high as possible? if anyone cares about affordable housing for the non-rich I think there has to be development... right? it'll relieve pressure at the least; right now shithole houses/apartments rent for crazy amounts, so why not let those who can afford it move into some stupid new apartment building? the whole debate is basically only determining WHO will get rich: area landholders or external developer types. YES the latter will get rich via building, but I think it's actually the best for the poorer half.

a lot of those tent shots were from a protest about the post office, not really pertinent.

I live super close to San Pablo, it's a needlessly run-down and underutilized stretch, would be a great place for new housing IMO.

[hipster holocaust]

HOLY DAY SET BY FLORIDA COURT-This is great!!
I know God is giggling!



A Florida Court Sets Atheist Holy Day!

Gotta love this Judge!


You must read this......
A proper decision by the courts...
for a change.



A FLORIDA COURT SETS
ATHEIST HOLY DAY

In Florida , an atheist created a case against Easter and Passover Holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.

The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, "Case dismissed!"

The lawyer immediately stood and objecting to the ruling saying,
"Your honor, How can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others.
The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays..."
The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counselor, is woefully ignorant."
The lawyer said," Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."
The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fool's Day. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that, if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore,
April 1st is his day.

Court is adjourned..."
You gotta love a Judge that knows his scripture!


This is too good not to forward!