The Superiority and Ineptitiude of the Store Bought Fire

[The Bill]

This is a thread about buying edible products that claim to be spicy. Not so much about the local Mexican Restaurant near your Mom's house using ghost peppers. More about Coca-Cola claiming they have Habanero flavored Sprite, and such.

So, yeah, for many many wonderful years I've enjoyed many many spicy things. Be it that wasabi sting your nose feels, or jalapeno burning your face mouth. Unfortunately, when it's come to store bought product that claim spicy or even a zest, they tend t be full of shit. I've had potato chips and beef jerky... even a chocolate bar. All full of shit. Until, yesterday when my wife brought a small bag of this home...



It actually delivered a level of heat that I found worthy of being called spicy. I mean, it's not going to kill your Aunt Mavis if you slip her one, but I took notice. What else pretender or king lurks about in Super Market selves?

[hipster holocaust]

Andy Cap Hot Fries

[Chad]

there are a few standouts I've had that should be readily available most places...like not in a gas station, but in town

these have a fucking extraordinary flavor, and actually somewhat spicy:



this El Yucateco is a really good kinda spicy sauce...honestly it's not very hot but it's in most major stores and has more of a bite than others, with awesome flavor:



on a related note, I thought about signing up for this shit for a little while just for the present-opening, surprise-y fun aspect:

http://www.fuegobox.co/

[hipster holocaust]

The green Yukka sauce is tits Chad. Plus those chips look bangin.

[delmuerte]

I find that like 90% of things that purport to be spicy aren't really at all. That being said, I also tend to avoid regular store-bought "spicy" stuff because I notice that even though my gut can withstand extreme levels of spiciness, it cannot withstand even mildly spicy chips at all. That junk makes me have to shit like almost instantly.

[Honky Kong 64]

Green Yuca is good but I always go back to red. Trader Joe's has ghost pepper chips that are so much of a joke I gave some to my six year old daughter. Their ghost pepper grinder though? Whoa nelly.

[The Bill]

Hope that comes to New York soon, would love to try it out.

I while ago I tried this:



It failed at being anything like wasabi spicy wise, but excelled at tasting like it. I'm not really a chip or junk food eater, despite being the author here, but these things tasted good, would not turn then down if given to me.

[hipster holocaust]

This is pretty spicy for a mainstream product, plus tasty as fuck.

[The Bill]

I just saw that this weekend. The lady wanted to know if I wanted to try it, but I poo-poo'ed it because I didn't want any damn popcorn at that time. Damn it! I want spicy popcorn now.

[Toilet Fleet]

some varietes of takis are pretty cumulatively hot but whjat chance doe s heat have if the rsik of early cardiac death wont' get me to stop

[hipster holocaust]

I just saw that this weekend. The lady wanted to know if I wanted to try it, but I poo-poo'ed it because I didn't want any damn popcorn at that time. Damn it! I want spicy popcorn now.

Highly recommended. Clockwork Bar and Donnybrook in the LES frequently offer it FO FREE so they sell more beer

[The Bill]

I just saw that this weekend. The lady wanted to know if I wanted to try it, but I poo-poo'ed it because I didn't want any damn popcorn at that time. Damn it! I want spicy popcorn now.

Highly recommended. Clockwork Bar and Donnybrook in the LES frequently offer it FO FREE so they sell more beer

Brilliant! I'd mix them with generic Lays or Wise, to add a salt blast into the mix.

[ghost boner]

flamin hot funyuns fucking rule. do not mix them with natty ice though.


also the exxtra hot (twice as hot!) flamin hot cheetos are pretty fucking hot. dont mix with steel reserve

[Cascade Whore]

Takis/dinamitas

[the awesome Assassin]

Takis/dinamitas

Post your pic!!!

[The Bill]

flamin hot funyuns fucking rule. do not mix them with natty ice though.


also the exxtra hot (twice as hot!) flamin hot cheetos are pretty fucking hot. dont mix with steel reserve

You should write anti-paring food/beer blurbs for bars. So, instead of "the 2007 Silver Oak Merlot is best served with pan seared medium rare rib eye steak and creamed spinach." It would be "the extreme hot wings fucking rule. Do not mix with Budweiser (mudweiser)."

[Toxicarius]

Takis chili/lime is pretty hot.

Takis chili/lime with cheese is even hotter.

Recently I saw Takis habanero/lime and I thought I'd be in for a heat treat. Not so. There is some zip, sure, but I think the regular chili/lime beats it on the ol' Scoville.

Target used to have a house brand habanero chip that was a trve endurance test, but I haven't seen those in a coon's age.

[Cascade Whore]

The habanero dinamitas aren't any hotter than the chili/limon

[Necrophilic Mallard]

Best mainstream sauce:


These are OK, generally not very spicy, but every once in a while one will really take your breath away:


Gotta get some sriracha popcorn.

[The Bill]

I know there's a separate Pickle thread, but I might as well say it here. Brooklyn Pickles used to have a pretty hot spicy pickle some years ago. Last three times I've gotten, though, I feel the heat was been watered down. Literally. So, I'm done with them.

Vlasic hot pickles are a joke.

[hipster holocaust]

Best mainstream sauce:

Jesus Christ I wish this was mainstream. I have to bug my buds that go on trips to Portland to bring this back for me

[The Bill]

Best mainstream sauce:

Jesus Christ I wish this was mainstream. I have to bug my buds that go on trips to Portland to bring this back for me

I'm not against ordering this off Amazon if you dudes think it's really worth it.

[Eight Bit Alien]

HOT CHEETOS AND TAKIS
HOT CHEETOS AND TAKIS
I CANT GET ENOUGH OF THESE HOT CHEETOS AND TAKIS

SNACK SNACK SNACK MUNCH

[ghost boner]

james knows whats up. CRUNCH!

[hipster holocaust]

Best mainstream sauce:

Jesus Christ I wish this was mainstream. I have to bug my buds that go on trips to Portland to bring this back for me

I'm not against ordering this off Amazon if you dudes think it's really worth it.

Oh shit I didn't even think of that. Definitely doing this today.