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FVBTVS
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Sat Nov 24, 2018 7:57 pm

Have any of your Player's adopted an orphaned child in your campaign? How long did the process take? What does the child do in the game?

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FVBTVS
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Wed Dec 05, 2018 1:27 pm

What do you do if a player falls in love with an NPC romantically?
lizardfolk are cool because they're exotic humans
anything shorter than 4 feet through and you go into fag dragon territory

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FVBTVS
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Sat Dec 08, 2018 10:34 am

Our cleric ruined Curse of Strahd for our DM one session, too.
werewolf panic
gather everyone into tavern for safety
oh shit it was her all along
werewolf shreds this dude in half
everyone starts beating the shit out of it
takes the cleric 3 turns to get inside
cleric walks in
cleric reaches out
strokes the pelt of the shewolf
casts remove curse
the hair falls away to reveal the busty townperson from before
her massive tits heaved at the exertion of combat
she had some cuts, but nothing too serious
her fantastic melons were unharmed as well
they beamed up at the party from the floor
the woman gave a ragged shudder
and her boobs quivered
the nipples grew hard very suddenly
almost in embarrassment
she slowly began to stand
her tater tots hung like lusty teardrops
completely exposed to the hungry eyes of the cleric
she made it to her feet and stood proudly
her amazing breasts were nothing to be ashamed of
and the busty woman knew it
"Thank you, kind cleric. May you walk long with your god."
and she left
how do i make a character based around the idea of being raised by chickens

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Eight Bit Alien
Don't mess with my shit.
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Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2007 1:43 am

Sat Dec 08, 2018 2:53 pm

RAISED BY CHICKENS
canon.docre wrote:I will not be seduced by the cheap showiness of nature.

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FVBTVS
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Thu Dec 20, 2018 7:14 am

>wizard picks up a magical long sword and swings it around
>tell him he can’t use it
>he is confused and wants to know why he can’t attack with it
>because the rules say you can’t
>”so if I tried to stab someone with the sword, what would happen”
>NOTHING because you CANNOT DO THAT
>”how do I learn to use it”
>YOU CANNOT DO THAT
>“I can’t pay someone to train me?”
>NO END OF DISCUSSION
>”that seems silly if I made the game I’d let people train”
>start screaming autistically at this challenge to GM authority and the Word of Gygax
>curse him with deafness, blindness, and -500xp
>threaten a blue bolt if I hear another word
>quietly packs his things and leaves
>satisfied smile on my face as I’ve purged the FOE

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FVBTVS
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Thu Dec 20, 2018 7:49 am

i am sure that person that wrote elf section of mtof had some genderfluid fetish. with sex changing being a highest blessing for an elf and them dreaming to be mutable like corellon.
Fun Fact
People are gender fluid all the time without any magic
You can be a gender fluid Tortle Barbarian if you like.
No one gives a damn, no blessing is require

How do you handle a fight with someone who is completely unkillable and invincible to all weapons the party possesses?
I want him to be defeatable, but in the clever way, like "make the ceiling collapse on him so he's trapped for an hour or two".

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FVBTVS
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Thu Dec 27, 2018 12:34 pm

I would love to create a mini-arc around a secret NPC cannibal. Especially over the long term. Friendliest, most supportive NPC buddy turns out to be grossly evil. Regularly cooks meals for players, listens to their problems, gives dangerous advice. MMM mm mmm, delicious!

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FVBTVS
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Thu Dec 27, 2018 12:45 pm

How many bugs or small animals could a druid of a large race reasonably fit in his cloak? Could a firbolg or a goliath for example fit a small bee hive in there?
A friend once played a Beast master Warforged Ranger whose beast was a bee colony that used his insides as a hive

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FVBTVS
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Sat Jan 05, 2019 11:20 am

holy shit do you have my dungeon master? It took 30 minutes to find fucking YEAST for bread, or we couldn't make our own food, and noone knew what fucking yeast was in his world apparently.

I worked at a bakery IRL, so we finally got it by breaking into the bakery (who said they didnt have any fucking yeast) and stealing some bread put out to rise, and making a sourdough.

why did we even fucking need yeast if he wasnt going to give it to us?
:moreawesome:

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Necrometer
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Sat Jan 05, 2019 11:25 am

:lol:
Image
good thing I'll be dead soon, cause I'm tired of liars winning

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FVBTVS
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Sat Jan 05, 2019 11:36 am

Walk into town
Ask if there's an inn in this town so we can sleep before our meeting tomorrow afternoon
"Theres an in inn the next town over"
too far and out of our way, sleep in a stable
wake up, go to meeting
guy insults us for looking and smelling like shit, asks us why we didn't stay at the inn
"the inn was in the next town"
guy berates us for being retarded, there is an inn in THIS town
later find the stupid peasant who gave us shit directions
shrugs and says "You didn't specify anything, you just asked for an inn."
GM is smug, genuinely sees it as a learning experience for us.
none of you guys have it like that DM who apparently let his players eat another player, described it in detail and wrote it off as if it was something perfectly normal.
Kills Deer
Describes how he decapitates it with his bare hands
Describes how he fucks the throat hole
In detail
Then wears the head

Other campaign
Magic superkid NPC gets recruited to the party
Player is a Feral Tiefling, so has wings
Proceeds to molest the kid while the party goes through a dimensional rift without him
Pretty much gets magical AIDS, but they superpower him until he dies
Opens own rift
Carrying child by the anus, holding him like a bowling ball, tries to go through the rift
Turns out, kids magic makes it so he has to stay one this plane
Kid gets smeared between dimension

tfw he's a player in my upcoming campaign
makes his dragon encounters always include petting and tail rubs but never combat
dm doesn't want us to ever die
always gives us a last minute out
after a series of strange circumstances that led to us being out of all resources a player dies
we all say our goodbyes
NPC cleric out of nowhere "I was just so touched by your sacrifice and love for one another I shall heal you"

How do I take it seriously when there's no way to die without committing in game suicide?
Commit out of game suicide

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Eight Bit Alien
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Sat Jan 05, 2019 4:08 pm

magic baby bowling ball :lol:
canon.docre wrote:I will not be seduced by the cheap showiness of nature.

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FVBTVS
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Wed Feb 20, 2019 10:18 am

My autism isn't like Tolkien's

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FVBTVS
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Posts: 14173
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Sun Mar 03, 2019 12:19 pm

I’m planning on doing a queer culture book for Dark Sun similar to my Eberron book, as soon as I’m allowed. Best of luck to you!

My current idea is to explore breakaway queer free tribes, trans brides of Nibenay, and possibly history-inspired homosexuality in Balic, as well as having a friend explore weird Kreen gender. Possibly presenting elves as an inherent agender or fluid society, too.

Someday!

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Eight Bit Alien
Don't mess with my shit.
Posts: 1945
Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2007 1:43 am

Sun Mar 03, 2019 12:31 pm

BREAKAWAY CIVILIZATION :ax:
canon.docre wrote:I will not be seduced by the cheap showiness of nature.

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