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I am having a hard time finding examples of tectonic Plates in a fictional world which is kinda frustrating.

Session Zero is completely unnecessary for a good campaign. It's a meme. For some reason it became popular among nu males on Reddit because some random game developers came up with the idea on one of their blogs. As a result everyone started shilling this "Session Zero" meme and huffing their own shit about it. No one fucking cares. Session Zero is utterly pointless, everything you do in that can be accomplished over email before the game. Why do you need to waste an entire session describing how your characters fit together? When I join a campaign, I want to play the fucking game, I do not want to waste four hours discussing how X player's character will fit into the story and what future character arcs he expects to have, when he might well die in the first session.

What the fuck has happened to this hobby? People used to just make characters, and play them. Then stories grew out of those roleplaying interactions organically. None of this pre-plotted forced meta-game shit where you try oh-so-hard to make it like your favorite drama TV show. Who gives a fuck? Stop watching Critical Roll and play the goddamn game, stop wasting your time on stupid gimmicks like this.

It's not that I don't like it, it's that it's stupid as hell. There is not any point to it. It's a buzzword for something that is already being done almost universally before a game. it doesn't need to be a session. It just doesn't. There is not a single way in which spending an entire session on this shit, benefits the game, besides over-preparing and over-detailing characters to the point that actually roleplaying them will be boring as fuck because you don't have any new space to explore with them. Session Zero should take half an hour, at most, in terms of setting up the campaign. If you are running a half-hour session then sending everyone home, to the point where I probably spent more time driving to the game site than actually "playing" (not that Session Zero even counts as playing) then I am pretty fucking insulted. I don't do this shit when I DM. I send out an email describing the campaign and the parameters for chargen and we each reply with the character we are playing, people add on to it a bit and say maybe we know each other because of this and that. Then you start playing. That is all you have to do, and there is no benefit to doing anything more. No collaborative worldbuilding crap. No X-card trigger warning crap. No in-depth discussion of the "tone" of a game that hasn't even happened yet. You are like those yuppie families that spend a full 5 years planning a 3-day vacation. It's fucking stupid. Just play the goddamn game and stop wasting everyone's time. If there is one thing that will make me drop a game hardcore, it's the mention of the existence of a "session zero."

Nice trips but you're still a retard. I started with AD&D you fucking nigger. Not everyone automatically plays the most updated version of D&D. What the fuck do you think Pathfinder is? I started with 1e in 2004 cause it was the best there was at the time, I only played 3.5 later when the AD&D dried up. And you know what? That faggot can have whatever opinion he wants. "reactionary badwrongfun" well guess what, "fun" doesn't mean shit and is not shit and is not an argument. So you're just as invalid as everyone else you stupid fucking idiot.

Are you talking about that big bang theory character? LOL. Way to show that you're an outsider to this hobby. You probably saw that episode of the show where him and the jewess roleplay their D&D characters fucking each other while the canned laughter reaches a crescendo, and thought "wow that looks like something fun to exploit for cheap entertainment." Rot in hell. You people ruin the hobby.

Because most new Dnd player are colossal egotistical faggot running away from their real life responsibilities into a fantasy world where they are obsessed with stretching their fantasy boner and being called a good role player while they passive aggressively use their real life friendships to sway the game their way.

They do not understand the Game, they do not want to put in the time for the depth of learning required to play the game and they won't listen to the voice of reason and experience because "I'm a good role player" or "that's not how you play Dnd this is" mentalities.

You are the same kind of faggot that will be late someone for being a "munchkin" or "that guy". A hypocritical faggot that tells other people how they can and can't play the game while insisting you play it however you want.

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Eternal DM
One player mentions there's a guy who expressed interest in joining
Get contact details
He asks for campaign setting, history, notable events a country bumpkin would know, etc
Seems pretty informed for a player joining a new group
Provide details he asked for, got a better feel for his personality through responses to it all
Ask what he thinks he'd play with all that in mind
He asks if I've ever heard of Flash Gordon
lolwut?
Puts a big, red X on the map I provided, near the desert that was within a day's travel of where the group currently was
"Nothing going on here, right? So if a spaceship crashed in the middle of a Lord of the Rings-like setting like the one you described, and a survivor ended up joining the gang, it wouldn't upset much, would it?"
Every fiber of my being should be screaming to shut this down, but
I fucking love it

He's made it through five sessions so far and he's paying more attention than the group I've trudged through two edition changes with. He plays his character like an 80's sci-fi-action hero and actually encourages the other players to do the same.

Fuck, I wish I had ten of him.

if you wouldn't fuck your centaur gf if she was large sized you don't deserve her

FVBTVS wrote: ↑Thu Mar 29, 2018 4:18 pm

Eternal DM
One player mentions there's a guy who expressed interest in joining
Get contact details
He asks for campaign setting, history, notable events a country bumpkin would know, etc
Seems pretty informed for a player joining a new group
Provide details he asked for, got a better feel for his personality through responses to it all
Ask what he thinks he'd play with all that in mind
He asks if I've ever heard of Flash Gordon
lolwut?
Puts a big, red X on the map I provided, near the desert that was within a day's travel of where the group currently was
"Nothing going on here, right? So if a spaceship crashed in the middle of a Lord of the Rings-like setting like the one you described, and a survivor ended up joining the gang, it wouldn't upset much, would it?"
Every fiber of my being should be screaming to shut this down, but
I fucking love it

He's made it through five sessions so far and he's paying more attention than the group I've trudged through two edition changes with. He plays his character like an 80's sci-fi-action hero and actually encourages the other players to do the same.

Fuck, I wish I had ten of him.

Walking through the woods and listening to metal is a good way of coming up with ideas for a campaign.

>one player dies in the tomb of the nine gods
>asks to play as their fucked-up clone who gains some class levels by siphoning the original's soul as it goes by
>agree, but point out that the clone doesn't have legs
>party just straps them to a broom of flying

You'll be a shitty wizard.

>Pathfinder
>Playing in a game over the summer
>GM is very poor at encounter design
>Mostly fight dinosaurs
>that fucker loves dinosaurs
>85% of encounters are purely dinosaur related
>He can name the specific genus of any saurian creature in all 6 beastiaries.
>We enter a dungeon
>Each room has only 1 creature per room
>its a fucking dinosaur every time
>finnally get to the last room
>open the door
>get on the floor
>because theres a fucking tyrannosaurus who somehow trips ALL of us, and stuns us for 6 rounds as it proceeds to kill each one of us in turn
>never got to walk the dinosaur

>See a PF Game poster at a FLGS, haven't played in a while and decided why not.
>Meet with DM inside, he's starting a new game.
>DM tells me to preroll a character the day and we start the next day.
>I'm told to stick with standard races and classes from Core Book.
>Next day, reveal my elf fighter, find out my fellow players are a human wizard, an elf cleric, a drow assassin who's also a vampire, and a dragon pixie who's class isn't even made known to us.
>The wizard, cleric, and I confront DM over the very nonstandard choices of the other party members.
>DM just acts like nothing is wrong, assures us everything is fine.
>First encounter in four ogres.
>I die in the first round, wizard dies in the third round, assassin vampire and dragon pixie flee.
>Cleric confronts the DM again and get told to fuck off.
>Store owner wanders over to see what's going on.
>I explain to the owner whats going on, that its just a disagreement and we're working it out.
>Owner ignores me talks to DM to find out what happened.
>DM points to the wizard, cleric, and myself, and says we're causing trouble.
>Owner tells cleric and I to leave.
>Cleric objects, and owner threatens to ban us.
>Cleric and I start packing up to leave leaving.
>Wizard then flips out and flips the table sending dice, papers, and books everywhere. >Wizard then starts screaming like a loon.
>Store owner kicks the three of is out, refuses to give us our dice or books.
>DM and the other two leave a few minutes later, while we're trying to get the owner to let us get our stuff from the store.
>End up getting the local plaza security involved.
>Owner finally lets us back.
>DM stole the cleric's core book, and some of our dice.
>Owner refuses to take responsibility saying we're lying.

Of all the different d&d games I watch on youtube/twitch/etc, 'light' is largely ignored in most if not all of them. Or at least glossed over. In my home game for my wife and kids, I don't pay much attention to it mostly because I don't want to bog the game down with details that the kids don't care about (that's slowly changing as they get older). (I've already lost my wife, she plays because she has to.

Can't tell you how sick I am of the Guts, Jedi and Kamen Rider xasthur fans I've seen in town.

White Like Jesus wrote: ↑Sat Jul 28, 2018 7:59 amMade some bad D&D jokes at tonight's game; maybe you can tell me which one causes the most pain

I am not into bestiality...but pregnant druid..that I can get behind.

I'm playing with a new group, so when character creation started, our bard decided to be "Fantasy Britney Spears". She got really into molding her backstory to match Britney's and found that Britney Spears currently works on a contract in Las Vegas. So, in session 1 she was introducing herself, saying she left her contract in the city of... and I checked the map I'd made and said "Baerel is the fantasy equivalent of Las Vegas".

So, months into the session and my group is now headed to Baerel to retrieve a magic item and investigate rumors of a cult being based out of the city.

Most of the casinos are loosely (or tightly) based on real casinos in Las Vegas. See if you can match them up.

how do i find real life xasthur fans to play DND with?

and I mean xasthur fans in the general sense, not actual xasthur fans. One of my fears is that I'll join some group and immediately run into trannies, who I don't want to really associate with

As a slav, I can easily relate to drow, ogres and other "evil" races.

My old group fell apart due to somebody moving away, so my good friend asked if I’d DM for his group since we’ve always wanted to play together.
>Out of the Abyss
>It starts in a Drow prison cell for those that don’t know
>Describe everything in the room because the players all rolled that they’ve been there 3-10 days
>Me: “You have chamber pots, some rotten straw bedding, and Magic seems to mysteriously fail in this roo-
>That Guy: “Oh wow. How contrived. Can’t design a decent prison that can account for magic then?”
>Me: “It’s in the book, dude. I didn’t desig-“
>That Guy: “Show me.”
>Me: “Really?”
>Point to the sentence that says there’s an anti-magic zone and show him the page
>He’s taking a long time to read it and I notice he’s looking at the wrong page—obviously trying to cheat
Basically it was a whole 5 hour session of that kind of thing. He also showed up with a homebrew class I said no to and we had to wait for him to stop bitching for 30 min before he rolled a Wizard. Not invited back.

sunburns aren't radiant damage

i'm honestly really offended by a barbarian using a shield.

Is it possible to play dnd with myself or is that too much mental masturbation autism?
Can people with schizophrenia play dnd with themselves?

it's quite easy. you find a module, print the modules map and start reading shit as you advance through the campaign. is like a singleplayer rpg on your computer.
don't fudge the dice tho. it becomes a jerk off simulator once you start doing that

FVBTVS wrote: ↑Wed Nov 21, 2018 6:34 pm

i'm honestly really offended by a barbarian using a shield.