TIME TO TAKE A SHIT.

Music posts are a bannable offense.
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ghost boner
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Sat Nov 24, 2018 11:53 am

nice!!
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ghost boner
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Sat Nov 24, 2018 11:53 am

FUCK
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kevin hash
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Sat Nov 24, 2018 6:41 pm

Had one a few hours ago that hit so fast i didn't have time to grab my phone.

Hot clay. Smelled rank. Came out in a flash.
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hipster holocaust
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Mon Nov 26, 2018 11:25 am

Black Jacques wrote:
Fri Nov 23, 2018 6:00 pm
ghost boner wrote:
Wed Nov 07, 2018 8:00 am
what can i get for 8 bucks?
My daughter was sitting on my chest reading a book while I read this post. She just about landed on the coffee table.
I missed this the first time around :lol:

Where's the fuckin beef symphony?
MeatGrease wrote:I think New Jersey has permanently fucked up my DNA
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kevin hash
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Thu Nov 29, 2018 1:36 pm

1:33pm

Had a coffee dump building up in my asshole. Raced home...

Uggghhghhgh

Feels like 3 feet of straight up hot steamy glory.

My asshole is pleased. Fucking reeks like a sonofabitch. Poop particles abound.
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kevin hash
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Tue Dec 04, 2018 6:26 pm

Had a 5 o'clock purge. Fucking endless turd meat. Stunk so bad because it was fueled by coffee.

An hour and a half later im still feeling empty.

Dumper6.
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kevin hash
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Wed Dec 05, 2018 8:55 pm

8:52pm.

Time to shit.....pushin easy not too hard.

Unngnghhhhh

Greasy wet slider falls out feels girthy. A lil poop chunk dropped out after. Smell is just not there....

Oh wait here it comes now. Smells like swiss steak smothered in farts.
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kevin hash
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Fri Dec 07, 2018 5:07 pm

5:03pm.

Letting a beefy cylinder wreck my ass.

Uggghvhhhhhh

Long think and smells like rotten eggs. Due to being at work id been holding it for about 30 mins.

Buns hit seat....shit starts exiting. No pushing no fussing.
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kevin hash
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Mon Dec 10, 2018 9:27 am

9:23am.

Sitting in my office and felt the cold press coffee rumbling.

Drove straight home. Luckily plenty of green lights because this one was stabbing its way out.

Greasy blast of gravy followed up by a couple of skee ball sized chunks of devils food.

Now im ripping a bunch of bubblers. Can feel the wet shit water dripping off my buttocks. Smells like dysentery up in here.

Glory!
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kevin hash
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Fri Dec 14, 2018 3:27 pm

3:24pm

Got off work early.

Ugghngnnm

Bumpy. Full on log. Scent hasn't hit yet.
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kevin hash
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Fri Dec 21, 2018 3:15 pm

3:11pm

Off work early.....time to push and grunt.

Unggghhgggghhhh.

Have to put a lil extra gusto into it. Fat asshole stretching log barrels out. Smell is late reaching my nose.

My piss smells like coffee.

Ooh there's the poop scent. No what i was expecting since my farts were so eggy. My shit has a burnt quality in the smell department with hints of meat.

Dear santa.....please let me shit twice as much in 2019.
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kevin hash
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Thu Dec 27, 2018 5:19 pm

5:15pm.

Been waiting 45 mins to drop this fucker.

Ungghhhhh. Total stretcher.

Was popping little farts every 5 seconds before i left work. This bumpy has no smell.

Asshole is still kinda open. More poop chunks are sliding at a glacial pace.

I need a nice diarrhea sesh at some point.
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WeeBeeNuDuce
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Sat Jan 05, 2019 6:26 pm

5:57pm

Mo’ resolutions, mo’ problems.

Wife has had me on the keto diet for the last 5 days - a steady diet of bacon, steakums, and cheesesticks has Uncle Grumpy building a log cabin in the darkest depths of my bowels.

Time to lose some weight the old fashioned way...

What was once a regular (1-2x) a day splish-splash, poo pool party is now an eye-building, vein-poppin’, prairie-dogging act of anal athleticism!!!

Unnnngh!

THUNK!

A spatter of shit marbles and then a magnificent sewer pickle that dents the porcelain, leaving the inside of my toilet bowl looking like a topographic map of London circa 1943.

The churning urn of burning funk assaults my nostrils. I’ve wrestled a lotta leprechauns in my day but never have I encountered such rank, meaty breath.

Dr Benjamin Fartlin MD
WeeBeeNuDuce
There Was Blood Everywhere
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Sun Jan 06, 2019 4:51 pm

4:19pm

Late lunch at the local Hot Pot left me glistening from the meat sweats and immaculately bloated with a food baby that is suddenly starting to crown...

Now I’m walking all bowlegged like Howdy Doody off to answer nature’s call from the big white telephone down the hall!

Time to saddle up ride this porcelain pony onwards to the land of dumps and grumps...

Quick! Gotta remember to practice those breathing exercises that Dookie Doula on YouTube taught me. No epidurals on-hand, this is a toilet orphan that is going to be delivered au naturale...

UNNNGHFHGHFGHHHHH!!!

Was I arrogant, did I speak too soon? This foul dangler quickly retreats back into my bowels like a frightened turtle instead of coming outside and chucking the football around with dear ol’ Da!

Come on boy!!! UFGHHHHHHHH!!!

*plop*

A perfectly-formed dook with the consistency of wet clay and the smell of a microwaved egg and pea casserole, released to a resounding chorus of barking spiders and quacking ducks.

I’ve built a lot of beaver dams in my day but this is easily the biggest log I’ve ever hauled down to the bog on my lonesome.

Gov. Arnold Scheisseneggar
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The Real MPD
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Mon Jan 07, 2019 12:12 am

later thread.
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kevin hash
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Wed Jan 09, 2019 7:34 pm

7:31pm.

This fucker is about to come a sliding out. Total asshole pokeage.

Ufgggnnnnn.

Hot bumpy chicken strip. No smell. Felt good despite the absence of shit scent.

My piss reeks like coffee.

Overall....a pretty concise shit. Clean drop. No leavings.
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WeeBeeNuDuce
There Was Blood Everywhere
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Sat Jan 19, 2019 8:25 am

8:22am

A plate of leftover Chicken Tikka Masala and Saag Paneer has me steam pressing my Calvin Klein’s and backing the big brown Cadillac out the garage first thing Saturday morning.

Time to take a ride down the Hershey Highway!

I rip my PJs down to my ankles and press my cheeks against the cold toilet seat. The cat hops on my shoulder and settles her warm anus against the nape of my neck - a proverbial poop parrot on a shit captain’s ship that’s about to set sail.

UNGHNGHGNGGHHH!!!

Each grunt is met with a round of anal applause that is at first approximately 15% dingalow and 85% hot fart. Echoes from the o-ring oboe are violently interrupted by a 1-2-3 combo of quick, searing rippers that splash the toilet water back up on my coin purse.

Just when I think it’s over I somehow manage to honk out one last dirt snake that is punctuated by squirt of ass-piss that smells like a curious mix of burnt matches and microwaved lasagne.

I’ve been the star of a lot of shitshows in my day, but never have I heard a roar throughout the porcelain amphitheater quite like I did today.

William Shitspeare
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kevin hash
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Sun Jan 20, 2019 6:29 pm

I dropped a long smelly soft serve and immediately got a hard on. The tip of my dick pushing against the sticky cold porcelain. I did not jack n jizz. Bathroom still smells like ass and poop.
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WeeBeeNuDuce
There Was Blood Everywhere
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Sun Jan 27, 2019 10:48 am

10:21pm

Two plates of BBQ brisket and beans, and a sixer of Natty Boh later and I got a big, brown dog scratching at the back door.

I grab a book of matches and head to the smallest room in the house and plop my buns down on the dunny. Ay, Cap’n - it’s a full moon over troubled waters!!!

Uh-oh. Sounds like we got a turd bus honking for the right of way...

Gary tries his best to pinch the chimp but ends up passing the baton with the speed of a green apple two-step!No pushing, no grunting, nuthin’ but net.

Poop particles fill the air and the Oval Office smells like Irish cabbage stew. Steamy, like a fresh baked loaf of bread. A real Minnesota handwarmer. And a butt yodeling alone in a vast toilet canyon.

Uncle Sam can’t say that this patriot doesn’t pay his sewer taxes on time...

I’ve drowned a lot of baby otters in my day, but this is the strongest message I’ve ever sent down to the Ninja Turtles.

Donald J. Dump
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kevin hash
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Mon Jan 28, 2019 6:00 pm

5:55pm.

Just got home. Took the dog out and he dropped a fat one....i got jealous.

Ughjhghhhhhhhj.

Hot bumpy log races out followed up by a rectum blistering steamy poopoo glacier.

Waiting for it to come out. I don't like it when my asshole is open for this long.

It don't matter dump the cake batter.
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PhoneyBaloneyEsquire
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Tue Jan 29, 2019 1:17 pm

kevin hash wrote:
Mon Jan 28, 2019 6:00 pm
5:55pm.

Just got home. Took the dog out and he dropped a fat one....i got jealous.

Ughjhghhhhhhhj.

Hot bumpy log races out followed up by a rectum blistering steamy poopoo glacier.

Waiting for it to come out. I don't like it when my asshole is open for this long.

It don't matter dump the cake batter.

this is really good writing sister,1!
15115 xasthur fans can't be wrong
WeeBeeNuDuce
There Was Blood Everywhere
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Mon Feb 04, 2019 11:56 pm

kevin hash wrote:
Mon Jan 28, 2019 6:00 pm
5:55pm.

I don't like it when my asshole is open for this long
I hear ya brother! It’s like propping your front door open when you are moving out of a bad neighborhood...

Got some good people helping moving the shit out, but don’t want nobody else sneaking in!

Namaste B Dingleberry
WeeBeeNuDuce
There Was Blood Everywhere
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Wed Feb 06, 2019 9:21 am

kevin hash wrote:
Mon Jan 28, 2019 6:00 pm
5:55pm.

Just got home. Took the dog out and he dropped a fat one....i got jealous.
Sometimes I’ll cop a grumpy right next to my dog...

Bark at the moon!!
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kevin hash
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Fri Feb 08, 2019 6:10 pm

6:07pm.

Walked home in the snow. Time to take a fat one.

Uggghhhhhh...

Fat semi-soft serve exits with style n grace. Breaks off and hits the water.

Now another poo chunk exits ever so slowly. Smells like another meal hot out the morgue.

I anticipate 2 wipes here.
TROLL WORLD ORDER 4 LIFE

:invcross: BUNGVOX got powerbombed off the stage because he wasn't T.W.O 4 LIFE brother. :invcross:
WeeBeeNuDuce
There Was Blood Everywhere
Posts: 13
Joined: Thu Oct 18, 2018 4:11 pm

Sat Feb 09, 2019 5:40 pm

9:51am

Two bowls of leftover black bean chili and a half-gallon of orange juice for breakfast and now I’m belching the clown with every other exhale...

Enough! Feels like I’ve been playing peek-a-boo with a brown turtle for too long and it’s high time I found him...

Unghghffghghgfh?!?!?!?

Pushed a quick mess of steamy butt droppings and dropped the property value a solid 12 points in less than 15 seconds. Barely recovered my breath before I birthed a brown carrot that made the fart locker smell like a curious mix of Camembert and gym socks..

What’s that - an encore? Never mind, just a quick bull snort to help exercise the meat nozzle with no clap backs. Disappointing.

I’ve helped a lot of groundhogs find their shadows in my day, but never have I driven one out of their hole with such little effort as I did this early morn...

Horton Hears-a-Poo
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