WHAT DID YOU DO AFTER WINTER BALL?

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Eight Bit Alien
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Tue Dec 18, 2018 7:13 pm

hipster holocaust wrote:
Fri Dec 14, 2018 1:41 pm
This is a masterpiece.
thanks man :brokenheart:
canon.docre wrote:I will not be seduced by the cheap showiness of nature.
FVBTVS wrote:
Tue Nov 10, 2015 7:58 am
tried to make an ideal wife. she had a burn in the center of her forehead..
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kevin hash
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Tue Dec 18, 2018 11:21 pm

2002.

Biff Dougan and his wife chang had just moved into a house over in kelso. They threw a housewarming party.

Me and dougan did an acoustic set of hickmans songs while everyone drank brew and toked bud. Paul elsey a.k.a. the pussy brought some of the most tooty fruity sticky crystalized bud i had ever smoked in my life. I was so fucking high i couldn't have told you what year it was.

But whilst scanning the room i notice jeff brookhart hanging out with this chick. I find out her name is melissa. I notice she's wearing creepers so i start pouring on my charm. I didn't really think jeff was going to fuck her otherwise i would have just let her off the hook and go beat off in the shower.

Anyhow we end up talking for awhile and i start figuring i can probably snare this hog. The party winds down and she offers to drop me off at my apartment on larch street. Me, brookhart and jeff manke pile into her dodge neon.

She drops me off and i tell her "i'll be up for awhile" then go into my apartment. About 20 minutes later.....knock at the door. There she is.

One thing leads to another and im chowing her pussy. Sight unseen. It's kinda hairy and smells like taco meat. Fuck it i'm so fucked up i would have ate my trash can.

We screw and i think 'wow her ass looks pretty good for being rather big.'

We pass out. I don't remember what we did the next day. She was around for about 3 months. She would come down on the weekends and buy me food, beer and cigs.

She had one lung.
Last edited by kevin hash on Thu Dec 20, 2018 7:48 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Eight Bit Alien
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Tue Dec 18, 2018 11:46 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:


what seriously she only had one lung? or is that slang or Counting Crows lyrics or some shit idk
canon.docre wrote:I will not be seduced by the cheap showiness of nature.
FVBTVS wrote:
Tue Nov 10, 2015 7:58 am
tried to make an ideal wife. she had a burn in the center of her forehead..
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hipster holocaust
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Wed Dec 19, 2018 7:39 am

I'd like to hear more about chang.
MeatGrease wrote:I think New Jersey has permanently fucked up my DNA
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kevin hash
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Wed Dec 19, 2018 7:45 am

hipster holocaust wrote:
Wed Dec 19, 2018 7:39 am
I'd like to hear more about chang.
Soon as i get settled in at the office.

I got a few chang stories.
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kevin hash
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Wed Dec 19, 2018 9:01 am

1993.

Chang whose real name is rose is a bigger gal who i went to high school with. She was a pretty cool chick who liked to hang out, get ripped and pound beers with the boys.

I called her up one night and asked what she was up to. She was house sitting for the dude that owns Columbia Ford who was off on vacation with family.

"You should come over and hang out with me."

I decided it was a great idea. I had a show with my band that night so it would have to wait till about 10 or 11.

I played the show. Forgot i'd left my window in my car open and my back pack got ripped off. I was only bummed for a minute because the thought hit me.

"Hey there's blowjobs to be had"

I headed over to where chang was staying. She had spaghetti and garlic bread ready to go. We watched headbangers ball. I got stoked when i saw the morbid angel vid for 'rapture.'

We make out on the couch for a bit. She then ushers me downstairs to this big bedroom. She goes into the bathroom and switches into a silky white nightgown thing.

I played with her snatch for awhile. She wanted to blow me.

I refused.

I thought to myself....'what if she gets too into me and i have to tell her to buzz off cuz i meet a hotter less fat chick?"

I hadn't started in with the hogging full on yet. I still sort of had standards.

The garlic bread was delicious.
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hipster holocaust
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Wed Dec 19, 2018 9:19 am

I wanted her to be a stereotypical Asian foreign exchange student that you made whoopie with.
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Wed Dec 19, 2018 1:15 pm

this thread can never go away. also i miss those chili burritos from taco bell and del t so much. the del t one raged cause it had onions
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kevin hash
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Wed Dec 19, 2018 6:01 pm

2000.

Was out getting hammered at the chinese gardens. Bunch of people were there. Chang was there. This was during my black butte porter phase so my details here are kinda fuzzy.

Her apartment was a few blocks away so i rolled with her in her suzuki samurai. We do the usual making out bit.

Next thing i know she's laying on her stomach on this huge fuckin beanbag chair. Her ample silky pantied buns speaking to my pud.

"Kiss my ass" she said drunkenly.

I run my tongue across her butt meat while she moans.

I slide her bloomers down and bathe her turdcutter with spit. I then proceed to whip my bone out and hotdog that shit. At this point the porter has caught up with me and i am struggling to stay upright so i dont fall forward and break my dick.

I pump out a nice fat load of glue. I think i wiped it all of her ass with a pillow from her couch.

"Oh man....(i yawn).....i better get going."

At this point she's sawing logs.

Fuck it. I take off with butt on my breath. I wash the night down with jack in the box.

FUCKBUNZ.
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kevin hash
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Fri Dec 21, 2018 3:37 pm

2001.

I reconnected with this chick named stacy. She was an old high school hog. Big fat knockers. I hadn't seen her since 1993 when i was in bed with her and this chick named marcy at a party getting all liquored up.

Stacy was hanging out at a show that bung was playing at. She was with her friend mandy. We talked for a bit and then we exchanged numbers at the end of the night.

A few weeks later i call her up and ask if she wants to hang out. She says 'yeah can you pick me up at like 10?'

'No problem.' i kill some time by toking some weed and washing my prick while listening to emperor.

9:45 i hop in the truck. Old blue chevy pick up with a bung sticker in the back window.
I head towards the highlands to pick up sweet stacy.

I pull up at her house on the 200 block of 19th. She comes out and gets in the truck. Then it hits me.....

'Whoa....she's got a fuckin spooky tooth' one of her front teeth was that color they get when it's dead. 'Fuck....how did i not notice this?'

The answer 'i was too busy drunkenly staring at her cans to look at her teeth.

'Oh well i'll just go get some beer from astro'

We head back to my place with a half rack of PBR, an 8th of weed, and a pudgy punker chick with a spooky tooth....oh and my ever stiffening dick.

We pound beers, take knife hits, and then make out on my couch. My fingers slide into her wet puss hole with ease. The tooth may be bad but the clam shall be grand.

I get her on my bed on all fours and eat her pussy and asshole. She did not hesitate to suck the butthole mist off my tongue.

I rail her out for about 15 minutes and blow my wad all over her fat fucking boobs. The were massive.

She dis not wear panties or bra. She was there to get some weiner from dad.

Little bit later she huffed my pud. Then i told her i would take her home.

'I was planning on staying the whole night' she said.

'Nah' i tell her 'gotta get up at 6 tomorrow to go to work."

It was saturday.

We call her taffy tits nowadays.

Her pussy is primo.
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kevin hash
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Fri Dec 21, 2018 8:58 pm

Eight Bit Alien wrote:
Tue Dec 18, 2018 11:46 pm
:lol: :lol: :lol:


what seriously she only had one lung? or is that slang or Counting Crows lyrics or some shit idk
No dude....she had ONE lung.

And the bitch smoked cigs.
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Fri Dec 21, 2018 10:06 pm

A piece of advice I heard from you that I always try to pass on to the next generation; “be careful whose asshole you feast on, because the next morning you might wake up with a severe case of fart tooth.”
NO WUM CAM BEEP MAYYG BUX

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kevin hash
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Fri Dec 21, 2018 10:42 pm

riley-o wrote:
Fri Dec 21, 2018 10:06 pm
A piece of advice I heard from you that I always try to pass on to the next generation; “be careful whose asshole you feast on, because the next morning you might wake up with a severe case of fart tooth.”
Yeah a lil fart tooth can go a long ways.
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kevin hash
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Fri Dec 21, 2018 11:01 pm

1993.

Christine dumped me. Said she was going back to holland for the summer. She had gone there as a foreign exchange student. Apparently she had a boyfriend over there that she wanted to visit.

She left me in tears in the parking lot of triangle bowl that hot summer afternoon. What an emo dick.

Anyhow. I found out this chick named amy had a crush on me. She was 2 grades behind me and was kind of on there periphery of the scene. She was into soccer.

I don't remember how we ended up hanging up. Im sure i just looked for her number in the phonebook. I went down to the park to watch her play. She was tan. Nice round turd cutter. Perky tits. I watched her do soccer practice thinking about huffing her panties afterwards. She looked good out there.

Maybe this will help mend my broken heart.

We sat in the grass and talked for awhile. She was sweet and sporty. A lot different than christine.

I ask her to go to the movies. She accepts and we make plans to go out in a few days. We kiss. Her tongue in my mouth making my ding ding hard.

Few days later i go to pick her up in my 75 plymouth scamp. She comes racing out of her house in a yellow sundress and red mary jane doc martens.

We go to my house and we listen to some music. Probably nirvana. Next thing i know is she's sitting on my face.

The lil sporty sweetie didn't wear panties. I luxuriated in her juicy poon. It was a great way to kick off a summer's evening.

The movie? Jason goes to hell the final friday.

I don't know what we did afterwards. I think i dropped her off to demonstrate to her parents that im a nice guy. Im sure i went to chris' house to brag about it.
Last edited by kevin hash on Sat Dec 22, 2018 10:24 am, edited 1 time in total.
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hipster holocaust
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Sat Dec 22, 2018 7:17 am

Good for you. Jock girls are often insufferable.

Also looking back I remember thinking someone two grades behind me was too young. So fucking dumb. So many missed opportunities... :cry:
MeatGrease wrote:I think New Jersey has permanently fucked up my DNA
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kevin hash
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Sat Dec 22, 2018 10:23 am

hipster holocaust wrote:
Sat Dec 22, 2018 7:17 am
Good for you. Jock girls are often insufferable.

Also looking back I remember thinking someone two grades behind me was too young. So fucking dumb. So many missed opportunities... :cry:
Oh man. That hurts.

Yeah we had some hot lil bangers at kelso high school that were sophomores and juniors.
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kevin hash
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Thu Mar 28, 2019 11:38 pm

1993.

This one is a little bit hazy so bear with dad here.

I had made arrangements to hang out with tonya on this warm summer night. We kinda had a little thing going cuz she was super into me. But anyhow i had told her i would come hang out with her cuz her dad was gonna be out of town.

Amy called and left a message on my answering machine. My prick goes on high alert. Her parents are out of town and she's inviting me over. She says that her and jen are getting beers and hanging out.

No it did not occur to me to fuck 2 chicks.

I blow off tonya and head up to beacon hill to go hang with sporty amy and dorky arty jen. Beers get consumed.

Hours go by and jen won't stop cock blocking me by being totally wasted and saying annoying shit. She finally passes out and amy says 'lets go' i follow her with my dick about ready to hulk up out my pants.

Next. I find myself in the shower with amy. She looks tan, wet, trimmed pussy. She looks GOOD. She tells me in amongst her tongue going down my neck....

'Put in inside me please....just pull out when you cum."

My dick is throbbing at the gates of her fuckhole.....then....

KNOCK KNOCK....'amy come out and help me' drunk jen has woken up and trying to ruin the mood. Amy hops up wraps her legs around and slides her sweet tight cunt down my washington monument.

KNOC KNOCK.....'aaamy come onnnnn i need yer helpjh f2f hunk dghyij'

I get about 5 or 6 piston like pumps before i empty my balls. Some of my jizz pumped it. It was a rager. I probably got 2 squirts up her cooze before i got it together enough to pull out.

I had to buy her a pregnancy test a week or so later.

When i made it home there was an angry message on the machine...

'You're a dick you said you were coming over'....it was tonya.

93 was a crazy summer.
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hipster holocaust
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Fri Mar 29, 2019 8:29 am

The moral of the story in anno domini 1993 is beers = snatch :invcross:
MeatGrease wrote:I think New Jersey has permanently fucked up my DNA
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kevin hash
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Fri Mar 29, 2019 9:05 pm

2002.

I hadn't talked to melissa one lung for a few weeks. I was getting tired of her showing up on the weekends and monopolizing my time. The last straw was when she invited me to go with her up to bonney lake to house sit for some relative of hers.

I figured fuck it. My roommate will just be smoking meth and cranking on his cousin's sloppy fuck hole. I didn't need to be around for that.

Plus. It will be a good opportunity to get a few packs of cigs, a few sixers of some high quality brew, and a chance to dump loads (and wipe my gunky dick off on a strangers sheets)

Anyways i sit up there all weekend. It was like a goddamned hostage crisis. No food no beers no cunt. She did supply cigs though.

Fuck man....i thought this broad had money. So yeah....sat there for 2 fucking days. I was pipin hot.

Okay....so a few weeks later. Haven't talked to her. Ignored all her calls until she got the hint. I see her hanging out at porkys one night with brookhart and some other people. She gives me dagger eyes. Ignore her.

But......i really need to crank on some poon. She may be my only hope of scoring cunt tonight.

So i walk up to her table and say 'hey i really need to talk to you so if you want to stop by this weekend i'd really like to get some things off my chest."

I leave to head back to my apartment. Who knows....maybe my gambit will pay off.

45 minutes later she shows up. I remember when the knock came i was taking knife hits and listening to hellnation. It was like 1am and i was partying alone.

So she comes in and i proceed to tell her a mighty fine line of BULLSHIT.

"Im sorry i've been so distant lately blah blah blah...i was just feeling scared of commitment....but......will you marry me?"

I could smell the IPA and cigs on my breath as i slurred out the word 'meeee.'

She says "are you serious?"

"Yeshhh.....i love you."

Next thing ya know. Panties down. Jugs out. Dick in. We power fuck for awhile. I beat on her ample buttocks. Her butt sweat is fueling my boner. I cum a frothy load in her box.

We smoke cigs. Make wedding plans.

Screw again and pass out.

Next day she loaned my roommate 150 bux and bought us cigs and pizza. I kissed her goodbye as she left to go back to seattle.

I didn't talk to her again for another 5 months when i conned her into coming over to suck my dick.

I could probably call her right now and pull the whole scam again.

Don't know her number anymore.
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kevin hash
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Fri Mar 29, 2019 9:08 pm

PS. fast eddie never paid her back for the 150 skins.
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kevin hash
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Sat Mar 30, 2019 1:37 am

1997.

I was in a band called slave 69. The guitarist matt wore a motorcycle helmet with antlers screwed onto em. We practiced in the super hot and super cramped upstairs room.

One night we were out on the front porch taking a break. Sippin brews. Puffin cigs. Matt was in the kitchen begging his mom to let us watch ECW hardcore heaven 97. Kevin is talking about how rad laether strip is. E Love is sipping on a bottle of carlo rossi. Jay Bone, the bass player was chatting with this chick jessica. I knew her from school.

She had really big doe eyes and a killer bod. While she looked good she had hanging out with jay bone so i didn't want to overstep.

Anyways we go back in the house and E Love starts grilling jay. Jessica stayed downstairs and helped matt's mom do whatever the fuck it was that penny was doing.

'So what's up jay are you gonna get in her pants or what?'

'No' jay says 'she's cool but i'm not interested in her. I need to just tell her but i don't want to hurt her feelings.' jay bone was a sensitive dude back then.

Me....not so much 'so you won't be offended if i ask her out bro?'

'Not at all' jay says. We then rip into the song 'brian's chair' and get back to the jams.

Later, i end up chatting jessica up. Making the small talk scene. She turns those big doe eyes at me and says 'i don't think jay is into me at all'

Well me being the supportive friend i am i say 'well you're fuckin hot as fuck.....always have been. If he doesn't see that then he's probably a fuckin fag.'

'You really think i'm pretty?'

'Fuck yeah' i tell her as cancer fog rolls off my tongue 'i would give my left nut to be with someone like you.'

Next thing ya know we are heading up mount brynion rd. We pull over on the side of the road and bam....im eating her pussy. It tastes so good. Then we decide that we want to fuck so we drive back down the hill about a mile to my grandma's house where i was living.

'Shhhhhh be hella quiet my grandma is sleeping' we go to my room and get naked. I don't remember the sex cuz by then we are both pretty faded.

I wake up the next morning. My dick is still in her soupy cunt. I pry my dick loose.

FUCK i gotta get this broad outta here my grandma is up.

I sneak her out the door and into my car while my grandma was in the bathroom. I raced her back to town. Her car was still parked at matt's from last night.

Never talked to her again.

NEXT.
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kevin hash
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Sat May 25, 2019 4:21 pm

Funny lil incident at the alcoholic werewolf show last night.

Arty dorky jen was there and we were shootin the shit. She's been one of my good friends ever since high school.

She says 'my dad always talks about the guy that used to call me at 2 in the morning'

I say to her 'i did that? What the fuck was wrong with me?'

Anyways she still looks fucking hot.

But whatevs.
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kevin hash
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Sat May 25, 2019 6:44 pm

Summer 2002.

I was lounging around in my apartment one night. I had just started dating this chick and she was off doing something else and i was having a bad case of 'find a pig to huff my throbbing dick' blues.

So i go through my mental notes....hmmm...who's around and lowly enough to come blow me on the spur-m of the moment......hmmmm....no not her.....nah.....who? WHO?

Aha!!! Melissa one lung. I guarantee i can spin some lies to get her onto my way of thinking. Haven't seen her in a few months. She finally realized that my marriage proposal was bullshit when chang told her i was with some other chick.

I give her a call....have a great chat....then i start the brainwashing.

'Oh melissa i sure miss all the great times we had. I know we've both moved on but i just can't stop remembering all the good times."

SIDE NOTE: good times = drinking smoking barfing up jack in the box all on her dime. Also using her pisser as a place to dump cum.

"Really?" she says all wistfully "i would sure love to see you sometime....maybe we could go to coffee or something."

I tell her "yeah that would be fun just catching up and all that." im using my best 'i'm totally not interested in your cunt' voice.

She then pulls this classic "i'm actually in town this weekend but i'm sure you're really busy."

I start doing my calculations.....e=mc i'm gonna be busy here here AND here - not too busy right now (until i pass out)/barf x busy doing stuff you are not able to attend/ disinterested in attending=jizz%

"Nah i don't have a lot going on just gonna be going to my aunt's to work on her sewing machine tomorrow and i will be helping my dad (estranged) get his garage cleaned. I'm just chilling right now....maybe you wanna come by right now?"

"Really? Won't your GIRLFRIEND get mad?" she asks. I can practically hear her gunge getting all sappy.

"Why? You gonna tell?" perv griffin is in full effect now.

"No"

"Well then....come on over. You stopping by the store on your way over?"

"Yeah i need to get some smokes"

"Well get me some camels and a six pack of bud i'll give you some cash when you get here." (i'm broke)

She comes over we make out. She strips down to her panties and tank top. Gives me a kick ass blowjob. I flood her mouth with white piss. She swallows every drop.

Then she lays her head on my chest and stares up at me lovingly.

I gotta get her out of here.

I start pounding beers like a madman. Start babbling about how i feel guilty and shouldn't have done this. I did feel guilty but whatever....my balls were empty. I start getting super woozy and start passing out.

I wake up about 20 minutes later and she was gone. I passed out knowing i had 3 more beers to drink and a full pack of cigs.

Well i guess i finally burnt that bridge. Haven't seen her since.
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