Generic Business Oriented Website

(the OG reddit post has been removed)

Someone on here has to be able to figure this out. It's been driving me nuts since I first read it. I'm sure she changed some details to throw us off like when Criss Angel's fiancee did a post about how she couldn't stand all his Houdini memorabilia but the reeelapse hive mind has got to be able to figure out who TF the ex husband is.

Probably a band like Five Finger Death Punch or Disturbed or something similar. Tough to narrow down further without a concrete detail, but that age range, the type of band that has signature guitars and memorabilia, "A-list in the world of metal music," and a khaki professional bro having a shrine to them in his game room all point to mainstream metal from the last decade.

I talked to someone once who’s brother played guitar in Motograter and he was able to commit some kind of fraud on her phone bill because the guy at the cellphone store liked the band.

riley-o wrote: ↑Tue Feb 12, 2019 5:08 pmthe type of band that has signature guitars and memorabilia, "A-list in the world of metal music,"

multiple bands tho!

even if we did figure it out, who would be chuffed to learn the identity of a musician's ex-wife who [braces self] is dating a guy

I just like puzzles

Too many missing pieces here to do more than guess, though, and I can’t even name five recent A-List metal bands

FIRST THOUGHTS

1. It's someone from Tool/Perfect Circle thing
2. There has to be some way to figure out who was married for 7 years

this rules, I want to be the special boy who cracks the case

zakk wylde

nah he's still with his baby mama

it's my shrine to geeheeb don't tell my wife

I wish it was a shrine to Dave Witte but it is probably some metalcore doofus.

captain chris

jandek

she said he played in death metal and prog metal bands.

LON HACKETT

aeser wrote: ↑Fri Feb 15, 2019 7:46 am she said he played in death metal and prog metal bands.

What’s an A-list metal band that plays death or prog metal ? Cannibal Corpse or Six Feet Under are the only death metal. Opeth for prog metal ? Or one of those Between the Buried and Me type of bands, I dunno anything about that stuff

Opeth isn't a bad idea mang

I'm trying to think of dudes who legit have a cult around them, there's not a lot of musicians I can think of who have a bunch of posters of themselves. It's hard to build a room dedicated to Lord Worm for example.

I dunno if akerfeldt is in "bands"

like, technically he is, sure, but... I dunno

Winds of Genocide

erik rutan

copstache wrote: ↑Sun Feb 17, 2019 3:37 pmerik rutan

i believe she said he was not american and what prog bands was rutan in?

i can't think of anybody who fits the bill completely given the clues she gave:

A-list metal celebrity, if you listen to metal you supposedly know who this guy is
in death metal and prog metal bands
not from america
in several bands and projects
has enough merch to have a shrine

the best i was able to come up with was somebody like devin townsend but i guess he's not divorced so i'm back to square fuckin one

Ola Englund

Maybe prog is a bit of a red herring? I know doubting some of the mission parameters will probably make this an impossible task, but prog is a pretty loose term.

Devin Townsend is a godly guess tho