Generic Business Oriented Website

hipster holocaust wrote: ↑Mon Dec 23, 2019 12:34 pm

Huge nightwish fans. Possibly the biggest. She works as a bartender. Owns no normal clothes. Bedroom of her apartment is nothing but piles of steampunk lingerie for all occasions. Has had the same silk sheets on her bed for 4 years. Burns nag champa constantly. Owns a coffee cup that says 'im a coffee ghoul.' Is planning on getting a castle tattooed on her ass but has to wait till payday. She drives a 1987 volvo wago with a tape deck. Ashtray is full of crystals and change. Car smells like crotch and little tree air frsheners. Currently listening to Fields of the Nephilim. Reads books about witch craft and lets you know all about it every chance she gets. Tries telling you your fortune whether you want to know it or not. Has 3 cats. Loves anal and prefers it over cunt sex. Likes candle wax poured on her asshole. Pretends she knows what voltaire was writing about. Has a laugh like an air raid siren. Her best friend is named jenn.

I'll get to him later....

Good god man, these little details that you pick out... a nightmare of truth. Never stop.

Pretends she knows what voltaire was writing about. Has a laugh like an air raid siren. Her best friend is named jenn.

ahahahha holy shit

i edited your post to de-vern, hope that's ok

The dude works at Gamestop. Big expert on coffee bordering on snobbery. Plays DnD every other weekend with the bros from work. He bought a guitar 4 years ago in hopes that he would learn how to shred like 'nightwish style' yet the guitar is still in the gig bag in the garage. He is currently living with his best friend Jarred AKA eldritch because he missed rent for a few month. He claims to feel bad about losing his place but says 'burning man is a once in a lifetime thing and I just had to do it......life is about the adventure.' wears bikini briefs. Smokes cloves but only after he's had a few lemon drops. Loves the chicken fajitas at Applebees and claims 'Mexico doesn't have anything on the bee....because believe me I've been there.' Drives a prius. Made it halfway through a nursing program before the lure of managing Gamestop came calling. Has been with Lisa for about 6 months. Keeps a jar of almond butter in his backpack just in case he gets hungry and needs a little snack. Knows every line from Beetlejuice. Has a weird belief that he would probably do pretty good in an MMA fight. No one knows why. Thinks Floor Janssen is the best singer 'the wish' has ever had. Was accused of date rape on more than one occasion. Loves Cards Against Humanity.

just fucking magnificent

voltaire line will be with me forever

I'll get to this one tomorrow.

Guy on the left....he had his juvenile record expunged when he was 19. He got caught finger banging a 12 year old girl when he was 17. He vapes. Really loves Godsmack and Flyleaf. Has not read a book since high school. Drives a 98 Honda Accord. Roots for Limp Bizkit more than most. Cried when they stopped making Zima. When he isn't dressing like a dildo he wears dockers and button up shirts since hes works at Budget Rental. Has really beady eyes without mascara. His girlfriend is named Kayla and she is really skinny and has a bony ass. She might be shooting meth but he's in denial because she has a nice cunt. Favorite food is stuffed crust pizza from pizza hut. Drinks water with a squeeze of lemon in it. Once spent his whole paycheck on protein powder that he never used.

kevin hash wrote: ↑Wed Sep 16, 2020 4:52 pm Once spent his whole paycheck on protein powder that he never used.

kevin hash wrote: ↑Wed Sep 16, 2020 4:52 pm When he isn't dressing like a dildo

this made me laugh all by itself

thanks for writing this shit

I'll get to gary glitter next. Hes a real pip.

The opening to one of Mike Adriano’s movies?

The chick on the far left with the umbrella:

Her name is Angela, age 34. She works at the unemployment office. Drives a dodge magnum that has a 'powered by bitchdust' sticker in the back window. She loves going to the bar after work with a couple of the other ladies she works with so they can bitch about what a rotten cunt their supervisor is. Favorite drink is a sex on the beach and routinely puts away 6 easily. Calls Thursday "little friday." Her and her boyfriend Brent have been engaged for 9 years. Has his name tattooed on her ass in rope letters. She has 2 dogs, both Pit bulls named Chloe and Butch. Call them her fur babies. Her and Brent's bed has serious dog hair on it. Has about 22 loads of laundry to do but she usually just buys more clothes at Target instead of doing laundry. Swears by the Atkins diet. Puts sliced hot dogs on nachos. Says she wants to start a food cart after she gets inheritance money from her mom. Thinks Carrie underwood is awesome. Favorite sexual position is reverse cowgirl. Brags to her co workers about how "I take care of my man." Smokes Menthols when drinking. Has herpes.

Hellyeah