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Can you get me John Boehner‘s autograph?

im sorry

My sister has been sick as fuck for two weeks and also has asthma. She waited for over two hours to get a covid test only to be told they won’t test her unless she had contact with a known carrier or has been traveling abroad. For some reason this information could not have been given to her over the phone.

MPD wrote: ↑Thu Mar 19, 2020 1:49 am

Fuck you. Die.

what if we assume this is all punishment for eating bats

and call it dracula's curse

Eight Bit Alien wrote: ↑Thu Mar 19, 2020 4:41 pm what if we assume this is all punishment for eating bats

and call it dracula's curse

What a horrible night to have a curse.

If I get sick I'm going to sign up for twitter and make that my last tweet before I die

Also the first I guess

California on full-ass stay at home, which we should have seen coming but still ended up reacting to it by spitting out a mouthful of sandwich all bwuhh-HUHHHHHHH?!??!??

Question for the group: where the fuck can I find fuckin eggs

NY is right behind ya come Sunday night, brb going to booze shop

At least CA's grocery stores are gonna be open and have wine and spirits, pricks

hipster holocaust wrote: ↑Fri Mar 20, 2020 9:28 am At least CA's grocery stores are gonna be open and have wine and spirits, pricks

Dude, nobody's buying wine out here. I picked up four bottles of Beaujolais on Monday and didn't even dent the stock, shelves were beyond full

If you're not getting drunk and/or high when you're stuck in your house, what the fuck are you even doing

pacing and full of rage

But imagine doing that while afraid of staining your carpet

I'm sober for sure rn. Only thing worse than all this shit wold be toiling through it hungover...

that's based on my pussy always-hangover constitution of course, no judgement on the inebriated pacers

If anyone needs to be reminded there's no hangover if you keep drinking you're a fucking douchebag

I feel pretty bad for any junkies rn.

lots of pacing

what if it turns out having a blood boy is v effective against the disease

Toilet Fleet wrote: ↑Fri Mar 20, 2020 9:52 amDude, nobody's buying wine out here. I picked up four bottles of Beaujolais on Monday and didn't even dent the stock, shelves were beyond full

y'know what was cleaned the fuck out? trader joe's boxed wine. I'm not judging... that's what I was after.

pulitzer candidate:

riley-o wrote: ↑Fri Mar 20, 2020 5:52 pm

I'm going to fucking light you on fire

NO HONOR