hammer or knife ?

Music posts are a bannable offense.

there's a home invader - which household item is the preferred weapon

knife
2
18%
hammer
8
73%
depends
0
No votes
depends, literally soiled depends
1
9%
 
Total votes: 11
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Necrometer
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you hear someone in your house at night, and you have a few seconds to grab a household item to defend yourself.

do you equip steely knife of chef or clawed hammer of carpenter ?

feel free to discuss other options ofc, but mods have a new anti-2A policy so any mention of firearms will have consequences
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Geeheeb
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since all property is theft, I would just use the power of friendship (my mostt powerful weapn)
FVBTVS wrote:
Tue Feb 06, 2018 12:04 pm
from enslavement to obliteration is older than abbey road
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Necrometer
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THIS PARTICULAR HOME INVADER IS DEADSET ON SODOMIZING ALL WHO DWELLETH THEREIN
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FVBTVS
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hammer all day
Chad wrote:
Wed May 15, 2019 4:01 pm
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THE KILL
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Necrometer wrote:
Thu May 21, 2020 10:30 am
THIS PARTICULAR HOME INVADER IS DEADSET ON SODOMIZING ALL WHO DWELLETH THEREIN
describe his dick
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Geeheeb
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Why is it hammer OR knife. we can feed people AND go to the moon you know...
FVBTVS wrote:
Tue Feb 06, 2018 12:04 pm
from enslavement to obliteration is older than abbey road
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FVBTVS
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have to take two weapon fighting feat though
Chad wrote:
Wed May 15, 2019 4:01 pm
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Eight Bit Alien
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I don't think about home invasion scenarios a lot, but we have a softball bat in the living room, and I keep a hammer by my bedside drawer.

I think I'd prefer a large kitchen knife, but I'm not going to leave a giant knife sitting around all year.

I figure I'm way less likely to accidentally injure myself with a stationary hammer.

The woman always says she's going for a large frying pan, which I figure is a decent plan.
riley-o wrote:
Wed Jan 22, 2020 2:28 pm
Capitalism may not be perfect but it’s pretty darn close.
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Necrometer
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yeah the frying pan also makes a half-decent shield in a pinch. if grandpappy's pocketwatch can stop a bullet, imagine what the mighty skillet can do!

imagine if you wound up to slice-smash someone with a frying pan and the handle just snapped right off because your kitchenware was, it turns out, not so sturdy

anyway I'm also going hammer. knife is certainly scarier but almost none of the strikes will be instantly incapacitating. the hammer at least gives you a chance for a one-and-done.
THE KILL wrote:
Thu May 21, 2020 11:26 am
Necrometer wrote:
Thu May 21, 2020 10:30 am
THIS PARTICULAR HOME INVADER IS DEADSET ON SODOMIZING ALL WHO DWELLETH THEREIN
describe his dick
knifey :cry:
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FVBTVS
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a frying pan with nails smelted to it would be cool
Chad wrote:
Wed May 15, 2019 4:01 pm
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how about a sensitive foodie repurposing their lovingly seasoned cast-iron (solid as a rock, to be sure) in an act of self defense, only to send it flying backwards on the wind-up (cursed smooth hands and feeble grip)
-Dr. Jordan Peterson
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Hammer, but it's all about delivery: both weapons are equally intimidating when I'm coming in a.) fat b.) nude and c.) shrieking

Actually the knife would be chill so I could cut myself and get a little bloody first, really amp the startle response

Hmmmmmm
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pepper spray
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dames are lousy now mah i gotta bop peckahs
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I would be so worried about nicking someone with a knife and just enraging them and ending up in a heated battle over the knife where we have four hands wrapped around it, wide-eyed pushing it back and forth toward each others' faces

A hammer ? Jump out and do like my homie L'il Rabbit Foo Foo and bop that fool on his head

Bad news for the good fairy of the forest, because your man is ALREADY a fuckin goon with zero remorse for the rats. HEAD BOPPAZ RECORDS YOU BITCH-ASS HOES
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:awesome: :awesome: :lol: :lol:

IM BOUT TO TURN SOMEONE INTO A GOON
riley-o wrote:
Wed Jan 22, 2020 2:28 pm
Capitalism may not be perfect but it’s pretty darn close.
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jesus christ I had never encountered that song before :lol:

hare today
goon tomorrow
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always take blunt object

a lot harder to shrug off blunt force trauma than a stab wound
if there's anybody in the world who'd be fucking unobservant enough to actually damage themselves with trap-soap I guess it'd be the guy with dialup in 2007
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I would hope I could just grab my buttplug but if I had to chose a melee weapon I would feel less clumsy smashing someone with a hammer than trying to effectively slash or stab. Although I feel if someone was competent with a knife they could make short work of some doofus swinging a hammer around like a club. I also have a baseball bat with nails in it but I feel like if I ever actually used that and ended up killing an intruder with it I would be more in trouble with the cops than if I just buttplugged the person.
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Kill the intruder with cum.
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two for cum.
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featherboa wrote: I got not-enough sleep last night because Crazy Town went late
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As someone who has been hit with a hammer and stabbed I have to say that even though I had to get stitches for the knife wound the hammer definitely sucked a lot more. Hammer
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ghost boner wrote:
Fri May 22, 2020 3:49 pm
As someone who has been hit with a hammer and stabbed I have to say that even though I had to get stitches for the knife wound the hammer definitely sucked a lot more. Hammer
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