Generic Business Oriented Website

you hear someone in your house at night, and you have a few seconds to grab a household item to defend yourself.

do you equip steely knife of chef or clawed hammer of carpenter ?

feel free to discuss other options ofc, but mods have a new anti-2A policy so any mention of firearms will have consequences

since all property is theft, I would just use the power of friendship (my mostt powerful weapn)

THIS PARTICULAR HOME INVADER IS DEADSET ON SODOMIZING ALL WHO DWELLETH THEREIN

hammer all day

Necrometer wrote: ↑Thu May 21, 2020 10:30 am THIS PARTICULAR HOME INVADER IS DEADSET ON SODOMIZING ALL WHO DWELLETH THEREIN

describe his dick

Why is it hammer OR knife. we can feed people AND go to the moon you know...

have to take two weapon fighting feat though

I don't think about home invasion scenarios a lot, but we have a softball bat in the living room, and I keep a hammer by my bedside drawer.

I think I'd prefer a large kitchen knife, but I'm not going to leave a giant knife sitting around all year.

I figure I'm way less likely to accidentally injure myself with a stationary hammer.

The woman always says she's going for a large frying pan, which I figure is a decent plan.

yeah the frying pan also makes a half-decent shield in a pinch. if grandpappy's pocketwatch can stop a bullet, imagine what the mighty skillet can do!

imagine if you wound up to slice-smash someone with a frying pan and the handle just snapped right off because your kitchenware was, it turns out, not so sturdy

anyway I'm also going hammer. knife is certainly scarier but almost none of the strikes will be instantly incapacitating. the hammer at least gives you a chance for a one-and-done.

THE KILL wrote: ↑Thu May 21, 2020 11:26 am

Necrometer wrote: ↑Thu May 21, 2020 10:30 amTHIS PARTICULAR HOME INVADER IS DEADSET ON SODOMIZING ALL WHO DWELLETH THEREIN

describe his dick

knifey

a frying pan with nails smelted to it would be cool

how about a sensitive foodie repurposing their lovingly seasoned cast-iron (solid as a rock, to be sure) in an act of self defense, only to send it flying backwards on the wind-up (cursed smooth hands and feeble grip)
-Dr. Jordan Peterson

Hammer, but it's all about delivery: both weapons are equally intimidating when I'm coming in a.) fat b.) nude and c.) shrieking

Actually the knife would be chill so I could cut myself and get a little bloody first, really amp the startle response

Hmmmmmm

pepper spray

I would be so worried about nicking someone with a knife and just enraging them and ending up in a heated battle over the knife where we have four hands wrapped around it, wide-eyed pushing it back and forth toward each others' faces

A hammer ? Jump out and do like my homie L'il Rabbit Foo Foo and bop that fool on his head

Bad news for the good fairy of the forest, because your man is ALREADY a fuckin goon with zero remorse for the rats. HEAD BOPPAZ RECORDS YOU BITCH-ASS HOES

IM BOUT TO TURN SOMEONE INTO A GOON

jesus christ I had never encountered that song before

hare today
goon tomorrow

always take blunt object

a lot harder to shrug off blunt force trauma than a stab wound

I would hope I could just grab my buttplug but if I had to chose a melee weapon I would feel less clumsy smashing someone with a hammer than trying to effectively slash or stab. Although I feel if someone was competent with a knife they could make short work of some doofus swinging a hammer around like a club. I also have a baseball bat with nails in it but I feel like if I ever actually used that and ended up killing an intruder with it I would be more in trouble with the cops than if I just buttplugged the person.

Kill the intruder with cum.

two for cum.

I hate thanks giving, where’s the cum gun.

If you kill your self with pussy juice are you retroactively non gay, like a baptism for the dead?

As someone who has been hit with a hammer and stabbed I have to say that even though I had to get stitches for the knife wound the hammer definitely sucked a lot more. Hammer

also on board for cum

ghost boner wrote: ↑Fri May 22, 2020 3:49 pm As someone who has been hit with a hammer and stabbed I have to say that even though I had to get stitches for the knife wound the hammer definitely sucked a lot more. Hammer