So, Las Vegas.

[Ghost Dad]

I'm going with a group of people next week, and I've never been there before. I don't plan on gambling the whole time, I'm not picking up whores, and....well that's about it. Any awesome places to eat/breweries/fun random stuff y'all could recommend?

[Tony Twist]

Go to the Yardhouse on the south end of the strip. 130 beers on tap and I think if you go during happy hour it's half price. Decent food too.


http://www.yardhouse.com/beer.asp

[Ghost Dad]

thanks dude!

[doubleblumpkin]

Go one block west of the strip to Industrial and you'll find more strip clubs and sex shops than you will ever need.

[Tony Twist]

Go one block west of the strip to Industrial and you'll find more strip clubs and sex shops than you will ever need.

Ohhhh, and I know a few girls who work in one or two of them, heh.

[SAUSAGES!!!!!!!!!!]

$40 a night at the circus circus, buffet is killer: chinese mexican food, rotisserie chicken, try the rum cake. then just walk into the other hotels on the strip and pretend you stay there, bellagio has a nice swimming pool & raquetball court for example, i think it has a water slide. you can smoke in all indoor places in nevada. dont go to any strip clubs they are shit

[Big Blood Grenade]

Downtown off of Fremont there's the Main St casino which has $1 black Jack and the Triple 7 brewery. You can get a 6 beer sampler to try all their brews, and the sushi is pretty decent. In the shopping walkway between the Luxor and Mandalay Bay there's a place called Burger Bar with a great selection of draught beers (you can get a 6 beer sampler with anything you wanna try here as well) and they have an awesome build-your-own burger menu-- I highly recommend the Kobe burger medium rare, and spring for the truffle sauce. The place isn't cheap, but it's one of the best burgers you will ever eat in your life.

If you're into buffets, check out the Bellagio-- go on a Friday at around 3:30, they will charge you lunch price (which is about half the price of dinner) and you can sit and snack for a half-hour until they bust out the Kobe beef, leg of lamb and king crab legs, among other goodies.

There's also a pinball museum where you can play all the machines and a place to rent and shoot guns both about a mile off the strip.

If you opt for public transit definitely ride the double deuce, it's only a buck more than the bus the scary homeless folks ride.

[ALPHA-MALE!!!]

I fucking hate Vegas. I will never go back. It's like a house party full of drunk nude old people with no exit. Vegas is an impersonal fuck-all loud mouth shiny erection with a strobe light hanging off it. Every logo, every ad, every t-shirt has flames photoshopped on top of it. Everyone is tan and shiny and have downsyndromey bloodshot eyes.
People spin around in circles vomiting and cursing because its a sign of respect to the city. The cops will punch you. The hookers will bite down hard on your weenis and take your wallet to the arcade/smoke shop where you will find them later on hanging out with their boyfriend and they will pretend they don't know you- and you know that the meatball sandwich her black boyfriend is eating was bought with your money and she had some of the meatball sandwich too because she has sauce all around her fucking mouth. The money (the 16 dollars) you thought you were going to turn into millions (or at least a corvette) playing craps is now a junkies boyfriends snack. Fuck Vegas- Vegas is for the ghost of Chris Farley. Millions of Chris Farley ghosts spinning around in circles getting jaywalking tickets and heat stroke and regular stokes and coke strokes. Stay away from Vegas and have a stroke in the comfort of your own home in front of the MTV.

[Ogre of Disgust]

I fucking hate Vegas. I will never go back. It's like a house party full of drunk nude old people with no exit. Vegas is an impersonal fuck-all loud mouth shiny erection with a strobe light hanging off it. Every logo, every ad, every t-shirt has flames photoshopped on top of it. Everyone is tan and shiny and have downsyndromey bloodshot eyes.
People spin around in circles vomiting and cursing because its a sign of respect to the city. The cops will punch you. The hookers will bite down hard on your weenis and take your wallet to the arcade/smoke shop where you will find them later on hanging out with their boyfriend and they will pretend they don't know you- and you know that the meatball sandwich her black boyfriend is eating was bought with your money and she had some of the meatball sandwich too because she has sauce all around her fucking mouth. The money (the 16 dollars) you thought you were going to turn into millions (or at least a corvette) playing craps is now a junkies boyfriends snack. Fuck Vegas- Vegas is for the ghost of Chris Farley. Millions of Chris Farley ghosts spinning around in circles getting jaywalking tickets and heat stroke and regular stokes and coke strokes. Stay away from Vegas and have a stroke in the comfort of your own home in front of the MTV.

You seem to say all this like it's a bad thing ?

[Ghost Dad]

I fucking hate Vegas. I will never go back. It's like a house party full of drunk nude old people with no exit. Vegas is an impersonal fuck-all loud mouth shiny erection with a strobe light hanging off it. Every logo, every ad, every t-shirt has flames photoshopped on top of it. Everyone is tan and shiny and have downsyndromey bloodshot eyes.
People spin around in circles vomiting and cursing because its a sign of respect to the city. The cops will punch you. The hookers will bite down hard on your weenis and take your wallet to the arcade/smoke shop where you will find them later on hanging out with their boyfriend and they will pretend they don't know you- and you know that the meatball sandwich her black boyfriend is eating was bought with your money and she had some of the meatball sandwich too because she has sauce all around her fucking mouth. The money (the 16 dollars) you thought you were going to turn into millions (or at least a corvette) playing craps is now a junkies boyfriends snack. Fuck Vegas- Vegas is for the ghost of Chris Farley. Millions of Chris Farley ghosts spinning around in circles getting jaywalking tickets and heat stroke and regular stokes and coke strokes. Stay away from Vegas and have a stroke in the comfort of your own home in front of the MTV.

Welp, I'm taking this and making them song lyrics.

[alleged triggerman]

Go to Ellis Island behind Bally's. Great brews for a $1bux and hit the BBQ joint. If you don't feel like BBQ hit the restaurant and ask for the "steak special" $4.99localbux.

Hit up the Double Down Saloon. It's the staple dive/punk bar. Get a bacon martini. Consider the puke insurance they offer. They usually have bands. American Jihad is playing this weekend.

Go to Asian town on Spring Mountain and hit up Ichiza. It's a rowdy Japaneze joint. They serve lots of stuff including sushi and mackeral done about 4 different ways. I suggest eating the babies.

Go to Dino's. It's South of Fremont on the strip. Belt out some karaoke with some of the hot cokehead bitches in town (this includes the bartender).

Hit up the Griffin on Fremont St. next to the Beauty Bar and enter the meat market. You may even see a bunch of lowrider bicycles parked out front.

Keep going East on Fremont and take a right on 11th and hit up the Bunkhouse. Maybe ther'll be a good show. Stay away from the ho's in this area.

Go to the Plaza Hotel and have some sangria and pimp ass tapas at Firefly.

If you're in town on Friday, hit up FIRST FRIDAY. It's downtown. It's hip. It's artsy fartsy. It's better than casinos.

Most importantly, pick up a Las Vegas Citylife and a Las Vegas Weekly. There's a plethora of information in those two alternative titles.

SPOILERSPOILER_SHOW

Don't get raped.

[Tony Twist]

Hit up the Griffin on Fremont St. next to the Beauty Bar and enter the meat market. You may even see a bunch of lowrider bicycles parked out front.

I once went to a show at the Beauty Bar. Odd place. It's a salon that was converted into a bar with a stage out the back door. Basically if bands played there, they played in the back alley. And even though it's converted to a bar, it still functions as a salon. There were drag queens getting their nails done while Terminally Your Aborted Ghost was playing outside. Odd fucking place.

[Hypnagogia]

they have an in n out burger there, if you've not had one before.

[Thrashmaster Flash]

Alleged Triggerman tells the truth here. Double Down is a fucking piece of shit awesome dive bar, and Ellis Island is the most seedy, disgusting off-strip sawdust joint with $1 microbrews (that are actually pretty decent, and are free for players!). Fun trivia fact: one time I went into Ellis Island and noticed that it was 85% Haitian/Black clientele at the time. I went to the player's club desk to get a coupon redeemed, and there was a large cardboard box filled with WATERMELONS behind the counter. Great place!

I would also recommend the Peppermill Fireside Lounge on the strip up by the Riviera. It's a little south of there but on the same side of the strip. It's actually a nice-ish cocktail lounge with fire pits and an awesome atmosphere. Main Street Station is another casino (downtown) that serves microbrews to players. The games are shit, but the beer is free and downtown is way more fun than the strip. In fact, you should go to Fremont street at night and watch the corny shows they do on the overhead LED canopy. The Kiss and Queen ones are probably your best bet. I think the atmosphere downtown is fantastic.

And while you're downtown, try this fun trick: go to El Cortez between 12PM-8PM wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses. Sit at the $5 single-deck blackjack game in the seat directly to the dealer's right and bet the table minimum until you're almost half-way through the deck. Then suddenly bet $25 or $30 on the next hand(s) until the shuffle. Set a stopwatch to see how long it takes you to get to get barred for "counting cards."

[CoconutBackwards1]

I fucking hate Vegas. I will never go back. It's like a house party full of drunk nude old people with no exit. Vegas is an impersonal fuck-all loud mouth shiny erection with a strobe light hanging off it. Every logo, every ad, every t-shirt has flames photoshopped on top of it. Everyone is tan and shiny and have downsyndromey bloodshot eyes.
People spin around in circles vomiting and cursing because its a sign of respect to the city. The cops will punch you. The hookers will bite down hard on your weenis and take your wallet to the arcade/smoke shop where you will find them later on hanging out with their boyfriend and they will pretend they don't know you- and you know that the meatball sandwich her black boyfriend is eating was bought with your money and she had some of the meatball sandwich too because she has sauce all around her fucking mouth. The money (the 16 dollars) you thought you were going to turn into millions (or at least a corvette) playing craps is now a junkies boyfriends snack. Fuck Vegas- Vegas is for the ghost of Chris Farley. Millions of Chris Farley ghosts spinning around in circles getting jaywalking tickets and heat stroke and regular stokes and coke strokes. Stay away from Vegas and have a stroke in the comfort of your own home in front of the MTV.

This sounds like something out of Filth by Irvine Welsh

[Thrashmaster Flash]

I fucking hate Vegas. I will never go back. It's like a house party full of drunk nude old people with no exit. Vegas is an impersonal fuck-all loud mouth shiny erection with a strobe light hanging off it. Every logo, every ad, every t-shirt has flames photoshopped on top of it. Everyone is tan and shiny and have downsyndromey bloodshot eyes.
People spin around in circles vomiting and cursing because its a sign of respect to the city. The cops will punch you. The hookers will bite down hard on your weenis and take your wallet to the arcade/smoke shop where you will find them later on hanging out with their boyfriend and they will pretend they don't know you- and you know that the meatball sandwich her black boyfriend is eating was bought with your money and she had some of the meatball sandwich too because she has sauce all around her fucking mouth. The money (the 16 dollars) you thought you were going to turn into millions (or at least a corvette) playing craps is now a junkies boyfriends snack. Fuck Vegas- Vegas is for the ghost of Chris Farley. Millions of Chris Farley ghosts spinning around in circles getting jaywalking tickets and heat stroke and regular stokes and coke strokes. Stay away from Vegas and have a stroke in the comfort of your own home in front of the MTV.

By the way, this is excellent.

[Tony Twist]

Alleged Triggerman tells the truth here. Double Down is a fucking piece of shit awesome dive bar, and Ellis Island is the most seedy, disgusting off-strip sawdust joint with $1 microbrews (that are actually pretty decent, and are free for players!). Fun trivia fact: one time I went into Ellis Island and noticed that it was 85% Haitian/Black clientele at the time. I went to the player's club desk to get a coupon redeemed, and there was a large cardboard box filled with WATERMELONS behind the counter. Great place!

I've never cared much for Ellis Island but I know several people that seem to love the place. Double Down is a bit too rockabilly for my liking and it's next door to a gay bar so their patrons are always hitting on the DD's patrons while walking into that place. I'd say that the Crown & Anchor is a decent place to go to. Nothing special but it's a British pub with a decent beer selection that gets a mix of a few decent people and some dumb retarded jocks from nearby UNLV. Just down the road from there is also Yayo's Tacos. A pretty decent Taco shop that caters to UNLV, surprisingly has a decent beer menu, and hosts many local metal shows, usually lame black metal shows made up of all, SURPRISE SURPRISE, Mexicans.

And while you're downtown, try this fun trick: go to El Cortez between 12PM-8PM wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses. Sit at the $5 single-deck blackjack game in the seat directly to the dealer's right and bet the table minimum until you're almost half-way through the deck. Then suddenly bet $25 or $30 on the next hand(s) until the shuffle. Set a stopwatch to see how long it takes you to get to get barred for "counting cards."

[BUNGVOX]

next time i go im gonna just stay at my hotel and not go anywhere.

[doubleblumpkin]

BTW if you're there next weekend, we're playing the Doom in June festival at the Cheyenne Saloon on June 5th. Black Cobra, Slough Feg, Gates of Slumber, Fireball Ministry and a bunch of other bands

[Ghost Dad]

And while you're downtown, try this fun trick: go to El Cortez between 12PM-8PM wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses. Sit at the $5 single-deck blackjack game in the seat directly to the dealer's right and bet the table minimum until you're almost half-way through the deck. Then suddenly bet $25 or $30 on the next hand(s) until the shuffle. Set a stopwatch to see how long it takes you to get to get barred for "counting cards."

I don't see how you could not try to count cards on a single deck table though. Will be frequenting Main St. Station.

Thanks BBG and alleged trigerman for those suggestions

Sorry Kevin- I'd go to that show if I wasn't leaving Fri night.

[Thrashmaster Flash]

You're right, not counting a single deck is a joke, but it really doesn't make a difference unless you're also implementing a somewhat-close-to-optimal bet spread, proper index deviations to improve playing efficiency, sound bankroll management, and a good act to keep the suits at the El C off your ass. If you try my experiment, make sure you stare at the layout as the dealer is dealing the cards, too. Guaranteed blacklist!

Have fun at Main Street, but steer clear of their garbage 21 games. Throw some dice instead!

[Ghost Dad]

The mirage has war

And main st station certaintly did not suck...its a cheap old man casino, but the house brews were a 1.50 and they had 3$ min roulette tables.

[Ghost Dad]

PM Rosary Butt Beads......I am sure he'll show you a good time

Wait, really?

[Ogre of Disgust]

That Doom In June lineup isn't half bad..

I got my beef buffed in a place called the Spearmint Rhino once.

[Tony Twist]

That Doom In June lineup isn't half bad..

I got my beef buffed in a place called the Spearmint Rhino once.