I'm going to review random shit.
- zombiehead
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I'm going to review random shit.
I was thinking about starting a music blog but that seems like a waste of time. With the complaints about the lack of music topics going on, I might as well start a dedicated thread just to devoted to the random shit I buy. Yeah, this is going to be completely random. My attempt is to talk about one cd a day. Let's see how long that lasts.
Since I buy alot of good, bad and shitty cds, this could get somewhat interesting. Let's kick start this off with a shitty cd.
Beyond Death. I heard the name before, but when I was at the record store I couldn't visualize who they were. The album cover looked like a Madball (the toy, not the band) rip off. The back of the cover looked like some generic brutal death metal band from 1998. It was a buck, so I took a chance on it. Big deal.
Once I got home, I checked out their Metal-Archives entry. That's when it clicked with me. They were a pre-Cannibal Corpse thrash band, but not the good one (Tyrant Sin). Anyways, they reformed without anyone from Cannibal Corpse (why would Jack Owens or Alex Webster rejoin this fucking band?). So no one noticed.
I can't say this was a total waste. It was either this or a Mcdonalds double-cheese burger. I mean, this is better than a McDonalds Double Cheeseburger atleast. It's giving me random message board fodder, so that dollar is atleast paid for.
They have a ton of images ripped right out of Google Image Search. There's the famous fat lady stuck in shower and that Max Hardcore fisting pic. Plus some hilariously bad MS paint drawing of a woman getting raped or something. Totally classy stuff.
The bassist is wearing a retarded Suicidal-style hat. The guitarist looks like one of the Bloodsoaked triplets, and the drummer is sporting a sweet pedo-moustache. Notice how lame the song titles are. One thing you won't notice is how out of order the fucking track listing is. I have to reedit all the fucking song titles to match them later... because it's all fucked up.
Their sound is pretty fucking generic. Before I listened to it, I was expecting some totally generic Brutal Death Metal. Beyond Death is more of a thrash band with some Death Metal leanings though. It sounds like if Celtic Frost, Gwar and the Mentors decided to team together and make the shittiest attempt of a Death / Thrash band ever.
and the fucking lyrics. Read this shit:
"I want all you xasthur fans out there
to listen up cause because i don't care
you spit out loud to 'suck my dick'
i'll smash your brains and rip off your prick
be careful of what you have to say
i'll condemn you to a life of gay
listen up don't fuck with me
so suck your own little pee pee"
Thought provoking.
Anyways, not only do they have stupid song titles, retarded lyrics, they look stupid, they have terrible art, images ripped straight out of 1999, and they had no reason of reforming. They also use samples in just about every song. Not even funny ones, or gory ones or anything. Just straight up retarded samples from the Clerks or Army of Darkness or any other movie you've heard sampled atleast 100 times.
It's like if Ragman started a band, this is what they would sound and look like.
Since I buy alot of good, bad and shitty cds, this could get somewhat interesting. Let's kick start this off with a shitty cd.
Beyond Death. I heard the name before, but when I was at the record store I couldn't visualize who they were. The album cover looked like a Madball (the toy, not the band) rip off. The back of the cover looked like some generic brutal death metal band from 1998. It was a buck, so I took a chance on it. Big deal.
Once I got home, I checked out their Metal-Archives entry. That's when it clicked with me. They were a pre-Cannibal Corpse thrash band, but not the good one (Tyrant Sin). Anyways, they reformed without anyone from Cannibal Corpse (why would Jack Owens or Alex Webster rejoin this fucking band?). So no one noticed.
I can't say this was a total waste. It was either this or a Mcdonalds double-cheese burger. I mean, this is better than a McDonalds Double Cheeseburger atleast. It's giving me random message board fodder, so that dollar is atleast paid for.
They have a ton of images ripped right out of Google Image Search. There's the famous fat lady stuck in shower and that Max Hardcore fisting pic. Plus some hilariously bad MS paint drawing of a woman getting raped or something. Totally classy stuff.
The bassist is wearing a retarded Suicidal-style hat. The guitarist looks like one of the Bloodsoaked triplets, and the drummer is sporting a sweet pedo-moustache. Notice how lame the song titles are. One thing you won't notice is how out of order the fucking track listing is. I have to reedit all the fucking song titles to match them later... because it's all fucked up.
Their sound is pretty fucking generic. Before I listened to it, I was expecting some totally generic Brutal Death Metal. Beyond Death is more of a thrash band with some Death Metal leanings though. It sounds like if Celtic Frost, Gwar and the Mentors decided to team together and make the shittiest attempt of a Death / Thrash band ever.
and the fucking lyrics. Read this shit:
"I want all you xasthur fans out there
to listen up cause because i don't care
you spit out loud to 'suck my dick'
i'll smash your brains and rip off your prick
be careful of what you have to say
i'll condemn you to a life of gay
listen up don't fuck with me
so suck your own little pee pee"
Thought provoking.
Anyways, not only do they have stupid song titles, retarded lyrics, they look stupid, they have terrible art, images ripped straight out of 1999, and they had no reason of reforming. They also use samples in just about every song. Not even funny ones, or gory ones or anything. Just straight up retarded samples from the Clerks or Army of Darkness or any other movie you've heard sampled atleast 100 times.
It's like if Ragman started a band, this is what they would sound and look like.
Last edited by zombiehead on Tue Jun 29, 2010 6:36 pm, edited 2 times in total.
- altars of radness
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Re: I'm going to review random shit.
Man, all you do is review random shit. Go with the blog. This just seems like an Amelia thread without the possibility of unintentional humor.
http://teenagedesires.bandcamp.comErik13 wrote:Does anyone have pics of Ron shirtless?
http://mockduck.bandcamp.com
- zombiehead
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Re: I'm going to review random shit.
I'll review your face in a minute faggotaltars of radness wrote:Man, all you do is review random shit. Go with the blog. This just seems like an Amelia thread without the possibility of unintentional humor.
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Re: I'm going to review random shit.
That cover is goddamned hilarious and brings a smile.
"Infidel defilers... they shall all drown in lakes of blood." ~ Thulsa Doom
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Re: I'm going to review random shit.
Yeesh! If it was me I'd lament that long-gone dollar, then heed the sticker and toss the disc to the nearest dog.
- zombiehead
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Re: I'm going to review random shit.
oh, yeah, it did go to a good cause...
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Re: I'm going to review random shit.
I thought this was going to be about reviewing random objects around you.
Optima PowerEase Reduced Effort Stapler 6/10
Staples papers okay, but nothing really fantastic. Occasionally jams, but the jams are easy to clear. Fairly solid stapler.
Optima PowerEase Reduced Effort Stapler 6/10
Staples papers okay, but nothing really fantastic. Occasionally jams, but the jams are easy to clear. Fairly solid stapler.
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Re: I'm going to review random shit.
Is that a Madball on the cover?
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Re: I'm going to review random shit.
are you saying that you're not sure...Eight Foot Manchild wrote:Is that a Madball on the cover?
does your employer know that you are a cold hearted animal murderer in addition to being an insatiable pervert?-meatgrease
only a fundamentally insecure asshole would relish in the death of domesticated cats-chad
only a fundamentally insecure asshole would relish in the death of domesticated cats-chad
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Re: I'm going to review random shit.
I seened that incarnation of beyond death play at Broadway Joes.
didn't know they went for the prono grind angle.
didn't know they went for the prono grind angle.
rileyo wrote:i like that she's wearing high heels &stockings to get fucked by dead pigs,that's some real forward thinking metal right there
LordDarksoul wrote:Thanks for the concern, Fucktractor.
BUNGVOX wrote:i don't want metallica to shit their pants. i want metallica to shit MY pants.
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Re: I'm going to review random shit.
wiobzombiehead wrote:I'll review your face in a minute faggotaltars of radness wrote:Man, all you do is review random shit. Go with the blog. This just seems like an Amelia thread without the possibility of unintentional humor.
- zombiehead
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Re: I'm going to review random shit.
i'm not hip to your internet lingoStefani Sadler wrote:wiobzombiehead wrote:I'll review your face in a minute faggotaltars of radness wrote:Man, all you do is review random shit. Go with the blog. This just seems like an Amelia thread without the possibility of unintentional humor.
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Re: I'm going to review random shit.
worth it's own... blog?
if there's anybody in the world who'd be fucking unobservant enough to actually damage themselves with trap-soap I guess it'd be the guy with dialup in 2007
Foot Foot wrote:that's enough. white girls.
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Re: I'm going to review random shit.
twas a compliment.
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Re: I'm going to review random shit.
i'd read it.
edit: especially if you upload said shitty cds
edit: especially if you upload said shitty cds
Last edited by copstache on Tue Jun 29, 2010 7:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
if there's anybody in the world who'd be fucking unobservant enough to actually damage themselves with trap-soap I guess it'd be the guy with dialup in 2007
Foot Foot wrote:that's enough. white girls.
- zombiehead
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Re: I'm going to review random shit.
SPOILERSPOILER_SHOW
- zombiehead
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Re: I'm going to review random shit.
I'll just stick to youtube samplescopstache wrote:i'd read it.
edit: especially if you upload said shitty cds
- copstache
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Re: I'm going to review random shit.
that works too.
if there's anybody in the world who'd be fucking unobservant enough to actually damage themselves with trap-soap I guess it'd be the guy with dialup in 2007
Foot Foot wrote:that's enough. white girls.
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Re: I'm going to review random shit.
thanks a lot for saving the scene...
does your employer know that you are a cold hearted animal murderer in addition to being an insatiable pervert?-meatgrease
only a fundamentally insecure asshole would relish in the death of domesticated cats-chad
only a fundamentally insecure asshole would relish in the death of domesticated cats-chad
- zombiehead
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Re: I'm going to review random shit.
I support my local used cd scenesoiled depends wrote:thanks a lot for saving the scene...
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Re: I'm going to review random shit.
The drawing of the urinal chick is a Simon Benson drawing. He's a famous fetish artist. I'll bet he'd be pissed to find out that some garbage band, stole his imagery, colored it, and added a bunch of random crap...
Pisscubes wrote:"Females, as a whole, are horrible, souless creatures bent on the destruction of males".
- zombiehead
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Re: I'm going to review random shit.
tip him offMari_Mar wrote:The drawing of the urinal chick is a Simon Benson drawing. He's a famous fetish artist. I'll bet he'd be pissed to find out that some garbage band, stole his imagery, colored it, and added a bunch of random crap...
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Re: I'm going to review random shit.
Band bad, thread good.
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Re: I'm going to review random shit.
maybe he'd love it...I know that I do!Mari_Mar wrote:The drawing of the urinal chick is a Simon Benson drawing. He's a famous fetish artist. I'll bet he'd be pissed to find out that some garbage band, stole his imagery, colored it, and added a bunch of random crap...
does your employer know that you are a cold hearted animal murderer in addition to being an insatiable pervert?-meatgrease
only a fundamentally insecure asshole would relish in the death of domesticated cats-chad
only a fundamentally insecure asshole would relish in the death of domesticated cats-chad
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Re: I'm going to review random shit.
I doubt I'd get a fair shake. I'm not a 16 year old girl.zombiehead wrote:I'll review your face in a minute faggotaltars of radness wrote:Man, all you do is review random shit. Go with the blog. This just seems like an Amelia thread without the possibility of unintentional humor.
http://teenagedesires.bandcamp.comErik13 wrote:Does anyone have pics of Ron shirtless?
http://mockduck.bandcamp.com