Celebrity Gossip Thread

[Bored001]

Props help, too. If you have a tool belt, you are unstoppable,

And a clipboard! Clipboard and a doctor's white coat and you can get away with murder.

[Eight Foot Manchild]

David Cross

David Cross is easily distracted. Before the show, I was standing in the house, cracking my knuckles, and he said "could you please not do that". He said it like a statement, not a question. Then, during the performance, I opened the backstage door so one of the crew guys could go outside and smoke. He stopped his routine and started joking about the open door. You can see this in his latest stand-up DVD, Bigger and Blackerer, available on Netflix.

Haha,

http://movies.netflix.com/WiMovie/David ... height1624

He starts going on about the door at around 27:10. Sorry, it's only for people with Netflix accounts.

I hope you all realize that I am now vicariously famous, which makes you famous likewise.

[fallbacktostone]

i always knew i would make it!!

[WINSTON WOLFE]

Some of the most pathetic douchebaggery I've ever seen was on the part of really small bands...the kind of stuff where they're such incredible assholes and the gap between what they are and how they see themselves is so fucking large it just stuns you.

This thread is great. More tales!

hahahaha....yes....I agree, Bored....

Tell me more...

[Eight Foot Manchild]

WARNING TO ALL FAMOUS PEOPLE:

If you think I'm done with this thread you are fatally fucking mistaken. This just to catch my breath. Check it. I'll be in New Zealand til the middle of next month, but when I get back up in this bitch, they'll have to come up with a pimp name for dirt, the way it fly.

[Ogre of Disgust]

WARNING TO ALL FAMOUS PEOPLE:

If you think I'm done with this thread you are fatally fucking mistaken. This just to catch my breath. Check it. I'll be in New Zealand til the middle of next month, but when I get back up in this bitch, they'll have to come up with a pimp name for dirt, the way it fly.

ylt

[valgalder]

post Leon's rider...

[Eight Foot Manchild]

SURPRISE FAMOUS PEOPLE I'M FUCKIN BACK ON THE SCENE

Let's kick off a new year of gossip with a blast from the past: Sinbad (remember him?) is culturally insensitive.

A lot of famous people come to the Berklee Performance Center. The box office people (more directly, the president and high end staff of the school) basically let them waltz into any show for free. George Clinton came once, so did Kevin Bacon. Bill Cosby on several occasions (more on them another time). But for some reason, Sinbad is the only one who seems to think he's welcome to come in and fuck about whenever he pleases, even when the theater isn't open and there's nothing going on there.

One time he came by when tryouts for some big concert were going on. The only people in the lobby were me and Olu, an ancient, decrepit Nigerian security guard who is very bitter about being an ancient, decrepit Nigerian security guard. Also, he's extremely racist against other black people. You can probably guess where this is going.

Sinbad rolls up talking on his cell phone, barely even acknowledges that he's being let into the theater. It's like he's going to work. This is routine for him. There is absolutely no reason for him to be here. He sits in the house for about five minutes, during which time Olu is mumbling to himself, clearly resentful of the fact that he's not allowed to kick Sinbad out.

Sinbad comes back to the lobby on his way out the door and does the worst thing he could possibly do: he starts joking around with Olu. He's goofing off, telling jokes, talking about the show he has later at another venue. Olu could not possibly give less of a fuck.

The next part is hard to describe, but imagine Sinbad flailing about, trying to get a laugh out of Olu, Olu just nodding and shifting his weight, and somewhere in the middle of this, he says:

"Yes, yes. Okay. Time to go," and sort of gestures to the door.

Sinbad is stunned, but finds this amusing, that some emaciated, hunchbacked old black dude with a funny accent and coke bottle glasses is telling him to leave. He keeps joking, but Olu isn't having it and they're talking over each other.

"Is time to go, yes? You see, the theater is closed. You cannot be here no more, see. Is time to go."

It culminates thusly: Sinbad plays the "don't you know who I am?' card, Olu persists in not giving a fuck. Sinbad begins to leave, but keeps talking as he's walking-

Sinbad: They didn't have no TV in Haiti then, huh?
Olu: You, you, you get out of here. I am not from Haiti, you ignorant man.
Sinbad: Can't hear you, man. We speak English here. (Referring to Olu's very thick accent)
Olu: Yah? Yah? Well I say niggah, you is ignant, yah? You unnastan now?

Sinbad by now is halfway out the door. He gives some kind of Rasta salute or something and says "have a good day".

Olu proceeds to give me a very long lecture about how angry he is with the general state of society at large and how he has two masters degrees back in Nigeria.

In retrospect, I guess this story was more about Olu than Sinbad.

[GoreyGibbler]

Olu

[Wang Mandu]

Olu: Yah? Yah? Well I say niggah, you is ignant, yah? You unnastan now?

[krudmonk]

Glad I finally opened this thread. Olu and John Mayer

[ghost boner]

also glad i checked this out. the david cross thing is awesome thats radd that it was you that opened the door.

[Bored001]

Olu

Not really related, I guess, but the angriest racist (I guess it could be called racism?) I ever met was a Nigerian cab driver in Houston. I was trapped with the guy in a cab for about 30 minutes and I learned everything I could possibly ever want to know about how much Africans hate each other and American black people...

[How Are Mortiis Goatse?!]

That's a general trade secret, for anyone who cares: If you can walk with confidence and look like you belong, you can get in ANYWHERE.

I have used this strategy with great success on many occasions, especially when I was younger and "hanging out backstage" had some value.

[Turd Murder]

Olu's got his shit together. Fuck a Sinbad.

[ungodlywarlock]

Sinbad plays the "don't you know who I am?

.

Dude, who the fuck cares about Sinbad anymore anyway? Other than a few bit parts in really bad comedies, I haven't seen him in anything since the stand-up special where he wore this stupid outfit.



So, what...25 years or so since he's done a damn thing worth talking about?

[krudmonk]

he just had a new special on Comedy Central

[John Jr.]

exactly: not a damn thing worth talking about in 25 years.

[fallbacktostone]

don't you RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNN

[Ray]

"Is time to go, yes? You see, the theater is closed. You cannot be here no more, see. Is time to go."

[soiled depends]

So we're reduced to reading about Sinbad...yikes....thread really took a fucking big nosedive...

[Pistol Whip]

Any dirt on Morrissey?

[krudmonk]

So we're reduced to reading about Sinbad...yikes....thread really took a fucking big nosedive...

He's no Aretha...

[Eight Foot Manchild]

So we're reduced to reading about Sinbad...yikes....thread really took a fucking big nosedive...

Stop blubbering, cunt. You ain't in these trenches.

[Eight Foot Manchild]

For the real fans, Bill Cosby dirt is on its way.