Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

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Blair
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Blair »

"Sure there is milk with later dates in the back, but if I put them out nobody will buy the milk with the earlier dates. You want to talk to my manager? My manger is the person who told me to do that and he's the guy who will get mad at me if I do put out the new milk, his office is right there."
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by \m/Johnny\m/ »

Blair wrote:"Look, I do the receiving here, I'm the guy who has to drop everything and check the delivery when more of that product does actually arrive here. That delivery driver is always late and always arrives at the last possible minute. But I can go in the back and kill some time in the warehouse if seeing me walk back there and than come back will make you feel better."
At the end I ended up just saying that pretty much every time.
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Blair
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Blair »

I'm going to lay part of the blame for that on delivery drivers, in general, being excruciatingly agonizing to deal with. Not the pros mind you.

EDIT: And the above rant is an example of the tail end of a conversation along the line of:

Customer: "Is there more of XXXX in the back?"
Me: "There is not more of XXXX in the back"
Customer:" Are you sure?"
Me: "I am 100% HIV positive that there isn't more of XXXX in the back"
Customer: "Well, could you check anyways?"

Meanwhile there's usually a bunch of XXXX sitting on the shelves.
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by \m/Johnny\m/ »

I work with one of those guys who has a complete inability to listen to anything you say after the first 3 words, at which point he forms his own end to your sentence which he either says out loud, or just hears in his stupid head...

Him: Hey, I wanna try that 5 Guys place, you want anything?
Me: I'll take a single with everything. But when you order, you have to say "single cheeseburger", because their regular cheeseburger is a double and it's way too big.
Him: So you want a cheeseburger with everything?
Me: A SINGLE!

(30 minutes later he starts digging in the bag)

Him: HEY! They gave us doubles!

:fp:
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- GLENN DANZIG "literally a rotating cast of gigantic wigged infants," claims former tour manager
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Zerohero »

electronicham wrote:Whiner to me: These different products don't match
Me: You're intel, try and figure out why they don't match
Whiner to me: I don't know
Me: You should probably use some analysis and make an assessment
Whiner to the entire room: I WAS NEVER TOLD I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO THAT
Me: :fp:

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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by featherboa »

OK. She went to lunch. I brought the table in.

Here's what it her solution looked like after she stole the first table.
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(the one in the back on the floor is the new one)
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Raw Ting »

That laptop looks stable. how could someone do that, look at it, and think that is ok?
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Ghost Dad »

featherboa wrote:OK. She went to lunch. I brought the table in.

(the one in the back on the floor is the new one)
What a shithead. Keep us updated on this lady

Had a dude in a car wreck come into the trauma bay yesterday. His clothes a ragged and blood spattered, and he's in a cervical collar, so we start cutting his clothes off.

"What the hell ya doin'?"
"We need to remove your clothing to work on you."
"Well what the hell am I gonna wear out of here?!"

Because that was the most pressing issue at the moment.
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by \m/Johnny\m/ »

I got in a pretty bad car wreck once and they had to cut off my favorite leather jacket... I laid on a back board in a neck brace for 12 hours in severe pain, and all I could think about was that jacket. :|
elephants gerald wrote:
- GLENN DANZIG "literally a rotating cast of gigantic wigged infants," claims former tour manager
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Ghost Dad »

\m/Johnny\m/ wrote:I got in a pretty bad car wreck once and they had to cut off my favorite leather jacket... I laid on a back board in a neck brace for 12 hours in severe pain, and all I could think about was that jacket. :|
Understandable. This guys clothes were shitty, though.
hipster holocaust wrote: What do you think they're doing up there right now? A smiling SLH listening to MLK's juicy wife cheating stories while Maya takes notes?
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Introvert »

Haha, I always think about that scenario if I was wearing one of my favorite and/or rare band shirts. Pretty pathetic.....
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Ghost Dad »

Nah you just sew it back up later when you get home. Punk as fuck.
hipster holocaust wrote: What do you think they're doing up there right now? A smiling SLH listening to MLK's juicy wife cheating stories while Maya takes notes?
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by featherboa »

I think I'm getting the silent treatment.
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Ghost Dad »

As long as you get to keep your bachelor pad, who cares?
hipster holocaust wrote: What do you think they're doing up there right now? A smiling SLH listening to MLK's juicy wife cheating stories while Maya takes notes?
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by featherboa »

hahahah
yes

this is what it looks like now
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Cascade Whore »

Pisscubes wrote:
Blair wrote:Aside from her being a go-tard, those people who have some OCD fixation on the imaginary "better product in the back" are in need of a good stiff gassing for the betterment of society.
I worked as a stock boy at a grocery store for a couple years (14-16). I know the "better product in the back" assholes. I know them well.
I think the cocksuckers who need to open shit are infinitely worse.....I used to work in a place that sold a lot of paper and people would bitch all the time about how there where so many ripped open packages I was always tempted to say something like "yeah, I hear you, it's because of the piece of shit that was just here before you", we could never make a hard and fast rule either about not opening shit because you would run the risk of having some fuckface get extremely offended if you didn't let them test the paper before they bought it, one of those no win situations.


Anywho.......the kicker was this one nut gobbler who had me open a pack of paper for him to test it, he decided it past the rigorous standards he was looking for then insisted on taking an un opened package instead even though we just opened one specifically for him.
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Blair
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Blair »

Like any of those assholes are going to be printing something that people will be buying. "I need an acid free archival 20# stock for my passive aggressive workplace notes"

Anyways...

Me: "Please don't open the containers of [pasteurized!] yoghurt!"

Customer: "I need to open them to check that they aren't moldy."

Me: "The reason they get moldy is that people like you open the containers. Cut it out."
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Can Of Smashed Assholes »

My boss: "The insurance company said your documentation didn't show 15 hours on that quarter panel"
Me: "Fuck the insurance companies!!!!"
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by \m/Johnny\m/ »

Can Of Smashed Assholes wrote:My boss: "The insurance company said your documentation didn't show 15 hours on that quarter panel"
Me: "Fuck the insurance companies!!!!"
Yup... you said a pretty dumb thing at work.
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- GLENN DANZIG "literally a rotating cast of gigantic wigged infants," claims former tour manager
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Necrometer »

currently reading some curious CVs at work... this gal named Tran really wants to work in my (boss's) lab, and... here are some highlights:
PROFILE – SKILL SUMMARY
- Problem solving abilities.
- Numerical analysis
- Communication
- Team Work
- Diagnosis
- Gained proficiency MS Word, Excel, Power point, ect.
- Personal quality: analytical, precise, throughout, curious, patients, independent.
RESEARCH EXPERIMENT
09/10 Water Experience Project
EXTRACELLULAR ACTIVITIES
01/2009-05/2011 Vietnamese Association Group: This is a campus-based non-profit student group. gathering of the juggalos to preserve the Vietnamese culture and helping each other in studying and life.
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Blair
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Blair »

I'm loving "Extracellular Activities"
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Gunther »

"YOU MOTHER FUCKER IF YOU LOVED ME YOU'D HIT ME" *cuts wrist*
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by riley-o »

During The Misfits' Die Die My Darling, "Oh weird who's playing that Metallica song ?"

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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by Blair »

Pisscubes wrote:Without a trace of irony, "Well, the lord works in various ways."
That's one I'm going to have to use!
Zerohero wrote:shooting cum on that hot chick that is my altar.
doubleblumpkin wrote:Guess who's riding a pig through the jungle 8)
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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Post by featherboa »

an email:
Subject: lights
> Hi Travis,

> Did you leave the restroom light on? Maria left a note.


Maria is the cleaning lady.
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