Zap Rowsdower wrote:I was an off-and-on smoker for 8 years. Even before smoking I could never run long distances due to childhood asthma or just never having developed lung capacity for endurance running. Smoking never negatively impacted my health, but I was god damn sure that it wasn't healthy.
Saying there are healthy obese people to me is like saying there are smokers who don't have lung cancer. It's simply a matter of time.
I have a BMI of 32, and I am totally healthy. I do about a moderate amount of exercise(walk half an hour every day!) and only eat healthy food like BAKED potoatoe and peanut butter. I went to my doctor and he said my cholesterol was perfect, that my resting heart rate was exceptional and that I was more healthy than the anorexic person he had been seeing at 'the positive clinic' I guess thats what happens when you starve yourself.. Take THAT thin privilege, I did a split right htere adn JOGGED HOME A WHOLE MILE!
I am fucking amazing. I will tell you that. You ever seen a dude as fat as me on a skateboard? Because I skate every single day. I also write a column for the newspaper, about the silly things I see. I saw this woman the other day, probably 6 feet and like 130 pounds. Jesus, I bet she spends every moment at the gym. Seriously I might be a little big but at least I have control over my life and am not addicted to the dopamine and running highes like her. I keep my brain on the stable path,
The other night I was out ballroom dancing with my even fatter girlfreind, and we won first prize. Fuckers couldn't fit the sashes around us though so we sued them and they had to close down the dance school and one of the owners commited suicde. That will teach them. I should rent the space and open a yogurt stand with a gym, it cant cost much to get some treadmills and we could use the AC they already had! I was driving my fiat in and out of trafic after that and I saw some dude in a convertible with this woman who was like stick thin with him. Fucking shallow assholes, I cut them right the fuck off. Dude honked and I was like NOPE and I called him a "braindead wafflefucker" and I fucking SPED off and when I got to the top of a hill my car did a jump just like dukes of hazard.
My favorite beer, just like the duke boys, is coors light and I guzzle it. I guzzle it GOOD but Its light, so it's not why I'm so big. I just am naturally this size. One day I drank five coors lights and went on my walk and I saw some dumb thin bitch with a fucking whippit. Ha. dogs and their owners, AM I RIGHT?? I sort of threw up in my mouth, seriously. When I got back to shower I was covered with sweat, WHAT A WORKOUT. I called my gilfreind and I told her and she laughed for fifteen minutes at that Northface wearing shallow WASP. Bitch loves herself thats why she had that dog like her. Jesus it makes me sick to see fuckers like that seriously. Another hobby of mine is pulling 'it' out in public. just let the little dude just point where he wants, you cant see it! I was bathing with some russians, and they didn't even notice because they thought I was wearing a speedo. NO GOODSKY CONRADE I'M NUDE AS A LARK. Hahha shit. then I went back home on the train as the sun went down. and I lay back on my two seats(try to stop me, fucking try) and I thought that my life was really pretty good.
Like a phoenix rising from the ashes....incredible....
hipster holocaust wrote:
What do you think they're doing up there right now? A smiling SLH listening to MLK's juicy wife cheating stories while Maya takes notes?
It was my treat day at work so I went to this awesome bakery first thing this morning to buy a couple dozen of their famous cheese buns. This rather hefty lady somehow cut me off at the door, ran* in and despite being surrounded by bags of the (literally) still-warm fuckin' things she asked the lady at the til if they "got any fresh ones"....
When it was my turn to pay I asked the lady if mine weren't fresh and she said "no she comes in here all time time, we keep some back here for her"
Though they're literally some of the best tasting things on this planet they're understandably horrible for you and I'm pretty sure that's all the beast eats for a living and I couldn't help but think about her morning ritual every day.
I'm an abominable fat monstrosity but I've never used one of those motorized cars. I still occasionally walk the 3 1/2 miles to work (although haven't had to do that in awhile). I was in a lot better shape when I still had the job where I had to carry 50lb + paper boxes up an down 17 foot tall ladders.
Advances>|<MONKEY wrote: Fucking shallow assholes, I cut them right the fuck off. Dude honked and I was like NOPE and I called him a "braindead wafflefucker"
also those cheesebuns look so fucking good, i even right clicked and opened it in another tab to czech them out
Zap Rowsdower wrote:I can already tell my cringe tolerance won't make it through that. What's the tl;dr? She's upset candles smell like cookies or something?
she was harassing shops for specific candles and when told one shop had them she and her mother drove there to find that they didn't actually have them, and she was a cunt about it.
the comments are even worse though. most of them are in support of her 1st world fat problems.