Dr Yail Bloor wrote:Pure shit is the best smell.
I have THE FARTS
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Re: I have THE FARTS
- IFryKids
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Re: I have THE FARTS
Is there anything better than walking into work, and your first duty is to take a giant SHIT? My goal is to absolutely ruin the day of the first person to walk in after I'm done.
This is my sacrifice
This is my life
This is my only regret
That I ever was born
This is my life
This is my only regret
That I ever was born
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Re: I have THE FARTS
I'm goind to repeat a joke this old homeless guy told to a group of people I was in... He walks up and says,
John, I was in the hospital again the other day and I said, "Doc. I got a problem; I have to go to the bathroom every morning at 6am." The doctor says to me, "Dave that's good news for once. It means you're regular" And then I said to him... "Yeah but I don't get up until 8. "
John, I was in the hospital again the other day and I said, "Doc. I got a problem; I have to go to the bathroom every morning at 6am." The doctor says to me, "Dave that's good news for once. It means you're regular" And then I said to him... "Yeah but I don't get up until 8. "
(MPD) wrote:is one of the other dudes in your band hurting you?
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Re: I have THE FARTS
My THE FARTS smell like Florida water today.
ghost boner wrote:our cousins should fuck
- canon.docre
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Re: I have THE FARTS
I got the xxx suicide hot peanut noodle box from the local noodle hut and my farts for 2 days afterwards were painful, and smelled so fucking badly I literally started making myself feel physically ill. Acrid fucking biological warfare.
[XHATEXBRIGADEX] because your a polotical faggot
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Re: I have THE FARTS
Maybe because this thread is on the front page and I've been net binging hardcore, but I am chemical warfaring myself so bad right now... I want to say it's the worst of all time. TTS
- Dr Yail Bloor
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Re: I have THE FARTS
I've been doing those tiny little pop farts that you do just before a massive shite, they reeked of anger and failure, the shit it's self was almost vomited from my back passage and stunk to high heaven.
\m/Johnny\m/ wrote:
I guess there's crippling, life shattering levels of alcoholism, and then there's Lemmy.
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Re: I have THE FARTS
I tend to make stew a lot in the winter and every time it's pretty awful. We ate some spicy chinese and then later in the day ate spicy ramen and for the rest of the day THE FARTS were HORRENDOUS, like as in my girlfriend was literally PISSED and slept in the other room. The joke's on her though, because the next day I totally shit my pants.
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Re: I have THE FARTS
That'll teach her!! Well done!delmuerte wrote:I tend to make stew a lot in the winter and every time it's pretty awful. We ate some spicy chinese and then later in the day ate spicy ramen and for the rest of the day THE FARTS were HORRENDOUS, like as in my girlfriend was literally PISSED and slept in the other room. The joke's on her though, because the next day I totally shit my pants.
\m/Johnny\m/ wrote:
I guess there's crippling, life shattering levels of alcoholism, and then there's Lemmy.
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Re: I have THE FARTS
I ate a little too much Thai yesterday for lunch that weighed heavily on me for the rest of the day. Drank way too many PBRs last night. If you didn't know any better and walked into my house this morning you would swear that someone set off a sulfur bomb with Thai peppers in the mix.
Friendly Goatus wrote:and stop being a dick to your cat
Re: I have THE FARTS
i'm cutting some fumers right now.
it's equal parts beautiful and horrifying.
it's equal parts beautiful and horrifying.
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Re: I have THE FARTS
and now do you have PANTS drippings?TheDOAD wrote:I just ripped one of the loudest the farts ever it was huge. Gave myself the dutch oven.
Roast pork and sauerkraut cooked in the pan drippings...
\m/Johnny\m/ wrote:
I guess there's crippling, life shattering levels of alcoholism, and then there's Lemmy.
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Re: I have THE FARTS
I accidentally farted on the train on the way home tonight and I think the smell woke up the guy sitting in front of me.
http://teenagedesires.bandcamp.comErik13 wrote:Does anyone have pics of Ron shirtless?
http://mockduck.bandcamp.com
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Re: I have THE FARTS
I'm about to take my younglings to see some church guys rip up phonebooks and bend iron bars. I hope the Toasted Angus I had this morning from DD hits me while I'm there. That baby had 2 eggs on it.
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Re: I have THE FARTS
I was ripping awful the farts at work today. I later sat down on my chair fast and think I pushed out some built up the fart fumes in the chair fibers. It must've fermented further while in there.
ghost boner wrote:our cousins should fuck
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Re: I have THE FARTS
A few days of not smoking really gets the farts a-flying.
Google it.
Google it.
SPOILERSPOILER_SHOW
fucking sucks
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Re: I have THE FARTS
ghost boner wrote:you can get it on the fire stick too. theres nothing this thing cant do
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Re: I have THE FARTS
DanBehavingBadly wrote:I'm about to take my younglings to see some church guys rip up phonebooks and bend iron bars. I hope the Toasted Angus I had this morning from DD hits me while I'm there. That baby had 2 eggs on it.
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Re: I have THE FARTS
copstache wrote:on a positive note, i hope if i get old and encrippled my nurses come and put on Judeobeast Assassin and watch my horrible atrophied limbs twitch in some mess of neurons flickering and dying
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Re: I have THE FARTS
I drank some White Russians last night and hot boxed my bedroom. I left the room to take a piss and walked back in only to get clotheslined by lingering methane.
Mari_Mar wrote:"It's on hold. I can't write right now. All my aggression is used up stretching my new pussy."
soiled depends wrote:Yeah, it's called "fuckin brutality"...I guess you've never heard of it before....noah thirteen wrote:Cattle Decapitation have a "representative"?!
- Dr Yail Bloor
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Re: I have THE FARTS
My wife puts up with farts that peel the lips back from your teeth in snarl of chuff age. She's a real trooper.
\m/Johnny\m/ wrote:
I guess there's crippling, life shattering levels of alcoholism, and then there's Lemmy.
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Re: I have THE FARTS
Had a busy day in the snow with the young one. He was eating dried apricots all day. Don't know if that means anything. We got home and he was asleep and I put him in the bed and he woke up enough to cut a man-size fart and then he drifted off.
I held back my own the farts in the car because doad's sweatie was with us and last week I was driving with him and ed_e and they were going to throw me out for my farts. I'm really lettin' 'em fly now. It was wise to hold them in in my estimation.
I held back my own the farts in the car because doad's sweatie was with us and last week I was driving with him and ed_e and they were going to throw me out for my farts. I'm really lettin' 'em fly now. It was wise to hold them in in my estimation.
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Re: I have THE FARTS
Pisscubes wrote:I have no idea what I ate, but I'm fucking Gaseous Clay over here...
classic.
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Re: I have THE FARTS
I was just at the supermarket picking out some cereal for the week. I was about 4 beers tipsy from stopping to meet a buddy on the way home from work. I thought I was alone, based on my last look around, so I let a nice high-pitched biscuit fly. I looked up to see an 80+ year old woman staring at me in shock. I winked at her and went back to my shopping. I settled on organic granola and Cap'n Crunch w/ Crunchberries.
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Re: I have THE FARTS
A+\m/Johnny\m/ wrote:I was just at the supermarket picking out some cereal for the week. I was about 4 beers tipsy from stopping to meet a buddy on the way home from work. I thought I was alone, based on my last look around, so I let a nice high-pitched biscuit fly. I looked up to see an 80+ year old woman staring at me in shock. I winked at her and went back to my shopping. I settled on organic granola and Cap'n Crunch w/ Crunchberries.