Big & Beautiful Thread of Sizeisms

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Re: Big & Beautiful Thread of Sizeisms

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Blair wrote: Is that SOP in Europe?
I don't really know about elsewhere, but the two major chains here in Switzerland both have this - we're not talking about some mom and pop grocery store here, but large, cheap places. Most of the produce is in boxes, you take what you want, weigh it, press the number of whatever it is and it prints the pricetag for you. People generally seem to be able to handle that. Although I've been known to walk to the scales and realize when I get there that I forgot to memorize the number, so there's that.
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Re: Big & Beautiful Thread of Sizeisms

Post by Advances>|<MONKEY »

Most places actually have only one or two scales available to the customers in what I assume is intentionally policy to get you to just eyeball it then pay whatever at the counter.

This is like discovering that "sunshower" is a regional term. As I said the only time I've ever encountered the 'write what this is on a white thing' is at whole foods, no other supermarket even has twistties that can be written on.
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Re: Big & Beautiful Thread of Sizeisms

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Advances>|<MONKEY wrote:I can't fathom how those stores stay in business more than a fucking week. I have been asked to check the prices of screws when I got some, but had been to that particular place a few times before and gotten similar small quantities of screws and they rang them right up without an issue.
However I have never ONCE been asked the price of something at a grocery store by the clerk. Sometimes they ask what particular type of lettuce but usually they show it to another checkout person and they tell them if they aren't sure. As for 'bulk items' then yeah it's fucking deranged to me that they would let the customers do that. Maybe I stick to smaller places but smaller places should be even more careful about it.

And that they actually TRUST THE CUSTOMERS TO WEIGH SHIT THEMSELVES??!?!?! are you fucking nuts? thats the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard. Do these people just like accept it? They have customer scales here but thats so you can weigh it yourself then they weight it again at the checkout counter. What a wondrous world of trust(and lies) you must live in.
Yes you fucking retard stores trust customers not to rip them off when they're buying a bag of mixed nuts. What a horrible world you inhabit.
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Re: Big & Beautiful Thread of Sizeisms

Post by Advances>|<MONKEY »

I kind of like not having to fucking do the stores work for them. Edit: though its good to remember yourself so they don't rip YOU off.
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Re: Big & Beautiful Thread of Sizeisms

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:lol: you need a babysitter
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Re: Big & Beautiful Thread of Sizeisms

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:wank: The MANLY MAN has to find a way to reference the fucking hardware store in a grocery thread :wank: Whole Foods and its clientele might suck but at least I don't have to see trash like you there.
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Re: Big & Beautiful Thread of Sizeisms

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Hahaha because the word nuts made me think of the similar setup at a fuckin True Value. You are so fuckin clueless. Who the fuck lets you out of the house to go annoy people
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Re: Big & Beautiful Thread of Sizeisms

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Get a room, you two.
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Re: Big & Beautiful Thread of Sizeisms

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spacehamster wrote:Get a room, you two.
haha. I'm a bumpkin but the only store anywhere near here that does that is Wegman's. I like it. But I didn't know monkey was a stupid country bumpkin like me...
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Re: Big & Beautiful Thread of Sizeisms

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spacehamster wrote:
Blair wrote: Is that SOP in Europe?
I don't really know about elsewhere, but the two major chains here in Switzerland both have this
In most shops in Germany the cashiers will weigh fruit etc for you when you pay, but some big malls (Kaufland) still require you to weigh your shit yourself. It's gotten rather rare though.
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Re: Big & Beautiful Thread of Sizeisms

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THE KILL wrote: In most shops in Germany the cashiers will weigh fruit etc for you when you pay, but some big malls (Kaufland) still require you to weigh your shit yourself. It's gotten rather rare though.
So what's the average time you spend in line at the cash register? Like an hour?
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Re: Big & Beautiful Thread of Sizeisms

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spacehamster wrote:
THE KILL wrote: In most shops in Germany the cashiers will weigh fruit etc for you when you pay, but some big malls (Kaufland) still require you to weigh your shit yourself. It's gotten rather rare though.
So what's the average time you spend in line at the cash register? Like an hour?
Nope, it rarely takes more than a few minutes. I guess cashiers quickly get used to it after they've done it a hundred times so a bag of vegetables usually doesn't really take more time than any other item.
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Re: Big & Beautiful Thread of Sizeisms

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I want to see monkey wax poetic on self checkouts at grocery stores, and fast food places that make you fill up your own drinks.
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Re: Big & Beautiful Thread of Sizeisms

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First of all, I went to the Chinese grocery store the other day. I just got a shitload of fruit before I realized I should probably stop before I got too much to eat without going it bad. It was pretty fucking fun because what happens is you put your shit down, and then as the lady scans it you bag it yourself as fast as possible. It's set up to do this so you don't have to reach into the little checkout area yourself. It was the first time I'd been there when it was busy and I think I did pretty well. I bagged the shit while the checkout lady who had full arm length gloves scanned it while she had a dispute with the customer before me at the same time while the customer behind me put her shit down on the little prescaning counter(no conveyer belt) and we all got out of it quite well. Quite a trip and damn they are cheap. Cheaper than the little fruit stand ladies! Also they group a lot of shit by brand instead of product so if you want a particular brand of something common like soy sauce you have to go to the brand area you want instead of a central place.

I did some self checkout the same day. There is only one grocery store I go to that has it, the rest just do it the standard american way. I figured I would try it. They have two people constantly helping people who fuck up because its pretty new here. Most the POS systems here are pretty fucking old, I was pretty impressed by how high tech that shit was in Denver. Which is why being asked how much anything was there threw me though a loop. I tried it and fucked up the 'get the shit right into the bag so it knows its the right thing' earlier in the day. I had to go back later for MEAT and it went much better after the people helped the other two people who fucked up (one bunch of people where drunk) and the fourth machine was down. The people who knew what they where doing where a mother and daughter team who did it like pros so I just mimicked them myself and it went well. The dude who was BEHIND me and went into the express lane when I chose to embrace automation like a fool was walking out when I got to the machine but I didn't screw it up at least. I never use those things for that reason though, also I feel people who bag shit all day will bag shit much better than you unless you have worked in a grocery store yourself.

It should be noted for MERCANS that it's customary to shop every, or every other day here, instead of once a week so that takes a LOT of the bagging issues out of the equation. The only things to really watch out for are buns being smushed or fruit being bruised, and that ususally only happens if you get grabby and do something dumb yourself.

When I was a fucking hog who debased myself with fast food places where you could fill your drink up where GREATLY appreciated because you could make a wild concoction of overpriced sugarwater. We have a very anemic selection of fast food here, I think there are only like five burgerkings in Manhattan, but Popyes always let you do it yourself. Then the fucking Popyes closed and the world was never the same. Then I lost like fifty pounds by not eating garbage and even if I was to eat fast food didn't drink soda so who the fuck knows. Sort of regret the first year I lived here and hung out with comic nerds(gag, gag gag gag) from the Bronx who would ONLY eat fast food. Sorta a strange time.

The shady shit here is that the main grocery store I go to(it has no shelf checkout) busses their cashiers in from Newark. Seriously. They are all pretty cool though and I sort of know most of them so it doesn't bother me outside very abstract concerns.
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Re: Big & Beautiful Thread of Sizeisms

Post by Zap Rowsdower »

The fuck happened these last two pages?

Back to rustlin' some jimmies.

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Rooslin' the jambos of some fats. Crosspost this to the infaptuated thread.
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Re: Big & Beautiful Thread of Sizeisms

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no butt pix then :nopizza:

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Re: Big & Beautiful Thread of Sizeisms

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AdvancesMonkey throws shitfits about his mundane life. I'll get back w/ some funny pic
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Re: Big & Beautiful Thread of Sizeisms

Post by Advances>|<MONKEY »

Zap Rowsdower wrote:
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What the fuck does that even mean? I experence an emotional rainbow when see fat people and I have to turn away and it drenches me with sweat. my heart races and my penis. It does a shameful thing. It grows. Oh I simply can not get these fat people out of my brain, I close my eyes and I see the fat men race after the fat women in a overcolored void. they hold three foot long hot dogs and the men lash the women symbolically, transfering the waves of lard from the moving liquid male arm and the hotdog hits across the skin of the fat woman and he gives her his motion and they shake like the waves of a pond. They join together around the maypole holding the streamers and the streamers are twizlers and they wrap it around the pole and the pole becomes a candy cane. they rais their arms and jiggle them in erotic extacy. They join all their voices together in a moan that recals the first orgasm of mankind and they take the next step. the obese are our children. they will suplant us on this earth and live in harmony with nature. they will not slaughter anymals any longer. they will not fight or feel pain or fear or disease. they will call thesmlves gods and they will be correct. They are gods, pulling us twards them with their gravity they take from us all our feelings and they hold them at the center of them in an etherial sphere. each one has this inside them, they soak up our feelings and when they leave the world of ours it lets go in a psychic blast that snaps at minds for miles around. we all feel the death of the fat person though we dont always know it. they can feel when one of them expires all across the planet from the release and reorganization of energy. if passes though us like an xray without us knowing but with the gravity of the obese they are attuned and each one takes a little bit and while the mortal man might die, and release his soul, the fat man will suck it up and hold it on the planet untill they too expire and this si why we grow fatter. because each living man and woman is present, in the smallest quantities, in each fat person. When a fat man speaks we listen to him because it is all our ancestors speaking though him. he sacrifies his mobility and joy and love to keep our souls from escaping and they build.

one day the fat people will be all that is left and they will trade in energy fewer adn fewer until only two remain, holding every single bit of mental life of every single human that ever lived. when the second dies, then all of life will be within one person, 700 pounds, and when that one expires all the energy will be released into the universe and man will spread as pure energy thoughout the stars with no bounderies or limits. everywhere and no where mankind will both rejoyce at the freedom and mourn the loss of the last unification of the human species in the microcosm of one overweight gentleman. Then the process will repeat on a universal scale as the energy of mankind finds new surrogates to hold it. On and on.

This is why you shouldn't make fun of fat people.
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Re: Big & Beautiful Thread of Sizeisms

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Christ
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Re: Big & Beautiful Thread of Sizeisms

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monkey :cheers:
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Re: Big & Beautiful Thread of Sizeisms

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Haha,
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Re: Big & Beautiful Thread of Sizeisms

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faggot teens rip off joke from family guy and it's either fake or they amazingly avoid getting their heads crushed/sat on
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Re: Big & Beautiful Thread of Sizeisms

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Whatever
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Re: Big & Beautiful Thread of Sizeisms

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I just wanted to make a joke about fat people sitting on others.
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