humblebrag thread

Music posts are a bannable offense.
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Iron Goldie
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I've lost some weight in the last couple of months. I look forward to the day where I can look in the mirror and not feel complete disgust. Also, I haven't necked myself yet. That counts for something, right?
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Necrometer
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IN THE SPIRIT OF VERN...

I'm attending a science conference soon, and someone I have interacted with professionally but only via phone/email (she's kind of in a power position over me) emailed to ask if I'd be attending the dinner cruise (!!!) that is one night of the meeting, so we could meet/talk in person. I said I would indeed see her there, and that it would be nice to talk, and she responds with:
I did the cruise 2 years ago and it was a nice dinner with lakeside view. The year before was dinner at XXXXX, another nice view. It was easier then to ditch the unwanteds (not talking about you!) as opposed to being trapped on a boat.
what does this mean!?!? is an unwanted someone lame who's hitting on her? and if I'm not an unwanted does that mean I'm a wanted and therefore :bigdog: !?!?

I'm mostly posting about this here because doing so guarantees I will not be fucking this chick :idea:
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good thing I'll be dead soon, cause I'm tired of liars winning
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Eight Bit Alien
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use your science to turn her into a crab

then set her loose on christmas island
riley-o wrote:
Wed Jan 22, 2020 2:28 pm
Capitalism may not be perfect but it’s pretty darn close.
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Necrometer
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I thought it was tedious to write 27 pages of research proposal

then I tried reading those 27 pages
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good thing I'll be dead soon, cause I'm tired of liars winning
featherboa
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that's an interesting problem
i cut my hand at work and just let it drip on my desk during a conference call -copstache
probably some punk broth - tvbfvs
dames are lousy now mah i gotta bop peckahs -eba
it's been hard to find the focus necessary with all the racket my wife & her boyfriend have been making -necro-meter
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Necrometer
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I'm about to die

I've slept 5 of the last ~50 hours - probably a personal record for slavishly staring at a computer

my eyes are decrepit
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good thing I'll be dead soon, cause I'm tired of liars winning
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Geeheeb
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i would think given your area that there would be a lot of demand for you to do the research, does that not lower the bar for the proposals?
FVBTVS wrote:
Tue Feb 06, 2018 12:04 pm
from enslavement to obliteration is older than abbey road
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Necrometer
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yeah, I am definitely playing on easy mode in some respects

the thing i'm talking about above will have a pretty good chance of getting funded, which is a good motivator, but still, somebody's gotta sit down and write it. this one was a "program" proposal which is like, 8 lab-head-level scientists collaborating with a certain aim. writing about my field isn't so bad, but rapidly learning another field and writing about it with authority is taxing. there are a few scene papas "contributing" to the project, but in reality they're too busy/disaffected to spend too much time on the paperwork, so... I'm the guy! final PDF was 130 pages, but most of that is budget nonsense. the folder on my computer dedicated to this proposal has almost 400 files in it, and none of that is fluff.

I have another thing due monday which would be just me proposing alone - would be way better for me if it was awarded but odds are much slimmer. it's basically been back-burner'd because of the thing above, which will make me feel like a total moron if the above thing doesn't end up getting the money!
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good thing I'll be dead soon, cause I'm tired of liars winning
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Geeheeb
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thoughts and prayers headed your way
FVBTVS wrote:
Tue Feb 06, 2018 12:04 pm
from enslavement to obliteration is older than abbey road
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FVBTVS
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i have three crippling and hellacious mosquito bites on three knuckles all on the same hand

they require near constant scratching! 8)
Chad wrote:
Wed May 15, 2019 4:01 pm
cool dudes like us
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Necrometer
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look at this guy who's left the house at all ever (or has windows that open!)
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good thing I'll be dead soon, cause I'm tired of liars winning
cxwx
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cxwx wrote:
Tue Jul 09, 2019 6:28 pm
I’ve been in a new position at my job for less than a month and I’m already number one out of all the employees.


I’m king turd on shit mountain.
Apparently I was number one in the nation last month.
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Go home and wipe your fucking Cheerios box.
ghost boner
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so that girl that i was talking about in this thread went mia for a few months. her husband threw her down the stairs and broke her back. his mom bailed him out and they put her in PC and she had to move and delete all social media. the other day her friend wrote me on fb saying she wanted to get a hold of me. i gave her my number and we talked for a bit. my friend has since moved out and she is coming over friday. wtf am i doing guys?
formerly ghost boner
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hipster holocaust
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ghost boner wrote:
Mon Dec 30, 2019 12:03 pm
so that girl that i was talking about in this thread went mia for a few months. her husband threw her down the stairs and broke her back. his mom bailed him out and they put her in PC and she had to move and delete all social media. the other day her friend wrote me on fb saying she wanted to get a hold of me. i gave her my number and we talked for a bit. my friend has since moved out and she is coming over friday. wtf am i doing guys?
Glub wrote:
Sun Aug 11, 2019 12:22 pm
What's the issue here? Wrap your dick up and stab her in the ovaries.

Fuck that dinner and movie shit though.
Invite her over and get up in her belly. Repeat for as long as she'll tolerate it.
MeatGrease wrote:
Tue Feb 25, 2020 8:38 am
The full break down of everything I believe will appear in my upcoming book.
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hipster holocaust
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hipster holocaust wrote:
Wed Aug 07, 2019 9:24 am
Starting a new gig a few k more than expected and talked them into working remotely instead of moving to Napa like the description originally asked for 👍
Oh yeah, an update with this was since I was leaving for the competition my company countered with at threat of legal action because they said I signed a non-compete contract valid for one year. When I asked to see it, they said ok, then came back at the end of the day with an offer to match the base salary, on top of keeping my commission checks and agreed to 100% remote work if I stay.

This is what happens when your book keeping team sucks :lol:
MeatGrease wrote:
Tue Feb 25, 2020 8:38 am
The full break down of everything I believe will appear in my upcoming book.
cxwx
Freakin Insane & Stuff..
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I got the local “doom metal” show to play agoraphobic noerbleed’s “watching a clown point a gun at a small dog”
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Go home and wipe your fucking Cheerios box.
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Necrometer
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anyone else's WFH zone way too sunny to be useful?
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good thing I'll be dead soon, cause I'm tired of liars winning
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Geeheeb
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uv light is almost as effective on HCoV-19 as all that silver toothpaste you can afford
FVBTVS wrote:
Tue Feb 06, 2018 12:04 pm
from enslavement to obliteration is older than abbey road
featherboa
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I've been cooped up since last monday because my boss is a with-it tech dude
i cut my hand at work and just let it drip on my desk during a conference call -copstache
probably some punk broth - tvbfvs
dames are lousy now mah i gotta bop peckahs -eba
it's been hard to find the focus necessary with all the racket my wife & her boyfriend have been making -necro-meter
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Toilet Fleet
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My WFH setup has been live since mid-February so The Massive Panic was a very minor adjustment. Got my work laptop next to one of my personal laptops, so I can dick around without HQ being even remotely capable of getting eyes on my let's say blended productivity.

Best part is that we have four bathrooms in our townhouse and I can take just the longest shits ever. Epic shits. Both-legs-falling-asleep shits. Sometimes I'll go to the community pool across the street and shit in the bathroom there just because.
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hipster holocaust
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hipster holocaust wrote:
Mon Dec 30, 2019 12:25 pm
hipster holocaust wrote:
Wed Aug 07, 2019 9:24 am
Starting a new gig a few k more than expected and talked them into working remotely instead of moving to Napa like the description originally asked for 👍
Oh yeah, an update with this was since I was leaving for the competition my company countered with at threat of legal action because they said I signed a non-compete contract valid for one year. When I asked to see it, they said ok, then came back at the end of the day with an offer to match the base salary, on top of keeping my commission checks and agreed to 100% remote work if I stay.

This is what happens when your book keeping team sucks :lol:
Update, they tried to make me come into the job again, pretty much under the threat of termination if I didn't. Covid then pulled a not so fast jimmy buffet fan thread the first day I was supposed to be back :tup:
MeatGrease wrote:
Tue Feb 25, 2020 8:38 am
The full break down of everything I believe will appear in my upcoming book.
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THE KILL
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Necrometer wrote:
Thu Mar 19, 2020 9:25 am
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:brokenheart:
The Bill wrote:Kids today with their artificially flavored kunt hands!
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Necrometer
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fucking VERNON wrote:Welp I just inadvertently ordered 90 dollars worth of pizza. Tried to cancel literally within minutes and they could only refund 20 dollars. So my question is, who wants to come join me in the most righteous of pizza eatings?!?
you know damn well that we can't join you, pizza czar
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good thing I'll be dead soon, cause I'm tired of liars winning
ghost boner
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guys it turned out to be not so bad. the food was shitty but it was only EIGHTY dollars. i did my math wrong after already doing it wrong once
formerly ghost boner
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Necrometer
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I'm sure your mountain of pizza wasn't one goddamned iota bad

I've been eating grilled cheese for weeks over here

made some fake pizza on sourdough

it sucks!
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good thing I'll be dead soon, cause I'm tired of liars winning
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