ridiculous semi-contextualized D&D comment repository

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FVBTVS
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Re: ridiculous semi-contextualized D&D comment repository

Post by FVBTVS »

My first attempt at a hand drawn map [Region Map]

My printer was acting up so I decided to try my hand at hand drawing a map.
CC welcome. Any advice, questions, or comments on something I may have overlooked or gotten wrong.
Image
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Re: ridiculous semi-contextualized D&D comment repository

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I want a shapeshifted silver dragon warrior girlfriend for my rogue
Tie ingame skills to real life actions
warrior
player has to lift dumbbells
weight and repetion determine power the action
archer
player has to throw a small ball into a cup
distance determines power of the skill
mage
show him a bunch of words
he has to recite them to cast a spell
It's called a magical tea party and you're basically playing pretend in it's purest form back in elementary school playgrounds.
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My younger sister exclusively plays big, burly, male murderhobo barbarians with thick beards and a penchant for eating whatever they kill
I recently started running a campaign for my wife and kitten-worshipping ultra sweet 11-year old twin daughters. Trying to guide them away from being complete murder hobos (and mostly failing).

They asked me whether killing an enemy throroughly enough would cause it to fully 'deflate'. In the interest of keeping their hopes alive I said only on a crit.
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A hag just acquired a player characters eyeball. What can she do with it?
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“Can I do a perception check to see if there any soups, stews or curries?”
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Re: ridiculous semi-contextualized D&D comment repository

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a: I have built an entire fantasy world based off the bathroom tiles at work.

b: That sounds pretty awesome. Do you have a photo?

a: I do, have considered writing a novel based upon those tiles and the world. So, not going to share just yet. If I moved forward, I was planning on asking someone here to comission a map based off of it.
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A naked gnome runs across the path, gasps at the party, then runs back. Cannot be pursued.
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The Gnomes of Levnec is an adventure about the fate of an empire and the byzantine machinations of a court that no longer has a monarch.

Just kidding, its about Gnomes. Meant for low level characters.
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Re: ridiculous semi-contextualized D&D comment repository

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FVBTVS wrote: Thu Apr 30, 2020 6:22 pm
A naked gnome runs across the path, gasps at the party, then runs back. Cannot be pursued.
hahaha. reminds of when a mate and I were fucking around with a dungeon crawl ruleset we wrote, and every time the heroes opened a door some ogres were gang raping a goblin or some shit. didn't have any bearing on the game itself, of course, it was just there for narrative detail
The Bill wrote:Kids today with their artificially flavored kunt hands!
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Keep in mind that the whole review is subjective and based on the things that me and my group like. Maybe getting pounded in the ass by a giant during the whole dungeon is someone’s fetish, but it’s not ours.
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Re: ridiculous semi-contextualized D&D comment repository

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Why does your dragonborn need such a thick juicy ass
My continents are rocks floating in space. You can fall off the edge of the world
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