Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

[Jack Mort]

Then it took a turn for the ultra-retarded, as crazy conservative guy explained that if they hadn't won that battle, Muslims would've taken over Europe.

Holy damn.

Hows the arabic coming along?

[Dr Yail Bloor]

girl next to me had these two gems this morning :

'did anyone see that programme about that woman who had some nail varnish or some fruit or something and died?'
'chicken is not a meat, its a protein'

oh and she's just said loudly for no fucking reason at all

'I used to play the violin'.

[Hotchka!]

"Merry Christmas and enjoy spending time with your family."

fuck you

[father of lies]

Then it took a turn for the ultra-retarded, as crazy conservative guy explained that if they hadn't won that battle, Muslims would've taken over Europe.

Holy damn.

Hows the arabic coming along?

Slowly but surely. I'm starting to recognize words when I hear them in public. I'm still wrapping my head around the conjugation of verbs.

[Hypnagogia]

"historically accurate" , the movie 300

This is where I would have turned around and walked away.

yeah well, I sit right next to the guy.
I really was taken aback when the words "historically accurate" came out of his mouth in reference to this flick...I had to scramble to cite examples like the claw-handed guy, the giant ogre, and the silver faced samurais...he couldn't recall any of those aspects of the flick.

He was using story as a sort of allegorical triumph of good over evil. He realized the flaw in his logic when the other guy and I reminded him of when this took place, that there was no islam, no christianity. Then I really got under his skin by suggesting that had the persians won that battle, and ultimately conquered euorpe, islam and christianty would have probably never been able to evolve in the first place.

It's really quite sad how corrupted this man's perception has become by the church.
He has a hell of a brain for 20th century trivia...but everything has such heavy handed conservative, christian slant. And there's no difference of perception/interpretation; everything is either black or white, right or wrong.

[Mr. Budd]

"We expect you to be at work until at least 2pm tomorrow."


HA!!!

[The Wages of Ben]

[Phritz]

of all the stupid inside-joke this board had over the years, the top of the page gif thing is the worst.
and now there is even one idiot more doing it.

[ratanda]

My fucking manager needs to remember that's what he is: A fucking manager. He comes up with these ridiculous ideas and plans and trying to get his hands in the pot, when all he has to do is give high level guidance. People who think they know shit but don't =

[pleasuretokill]

My fucking manager needs to remember that's what he is: A fucking manager. He comes up with these ridiculous ideas and plans and trying to get his hands in the pot, when all he has to do is give high level guidance. People who think they know shit but don't =

I thought we were on a hiring freeze! When did you get a job here?

[ratanda]

I thought we were on a hiring freeze! When did you get a job here?

'07

[death by snoo snoo]

These are all second-hand, but dumbfounding nonetheless



"Who wrote that book Cain and Able the the bible talks about? Was it Jodi Picoult?"

"Do you have the eye-dee-otts (idiot's) guide to crafts?"

"WHY would Jane Austen be in Fiction? She was a REAL PERSON!!!"

[Degree Absolute]

"WHY would Jane Austen be in Fiction? She was a REAL PERSON!!!"

LOLOL

I think that is even worse than mine: "You read BOOKS?!"

[danox3]

Owner of the company is telling a story, and tries to use the term "Faux" but pronounces it FAWKS.

And follows it with "You know, fake", like WE'RE the dumb ones.

[riley-o]

Co-worker (snorting with laughter): Why would anyone read if they have a working TV?

This woman worked in higher education, let me remind you.

i refuse to believe she wasn't joking. or you are not currently joking.

[Friendly Goatus]

Whenever people say shit like that I just laugh. Then I cry.

I can understand why people would think reading is tedious but... fucking christ, once you get used to reading on a regular basis it's the best, purest form of entertainment. I love books.

[ratanda]

A dude at my work (friend of my manager and really not a co-worker) wrote this in response to this article "China Calls For New Global Currency"

http://abcnews.go.com/print?id=7156932

It confirms that the rapture will take place soon. Right now, countries like China can be ignored by the west. But after WWIII, they and other countries, along with the anti-christ will make a case for it and it will happen according to Revelations. But no need for us to fear as we won't be here.

I can't tell how he was able to tie that article with christianity's judgement

[hipster holocaust]

These are all second-hand, but dumbfounding nonetheless


"Do you have the eye-dee-otts (idiot's) guide to crafts?"

"WHY would Jane Austen be in Fiction? She was a REAL PERSON!!!"

top. fucking. notch.

[Bored, Esq.]

I also don't mean to sound like an elitist asshole

If reading good books = elitism now, we're totally fucked.

[hipster holocaust]

I also don't mean to sound like an elitist asshole

If reading good books = elitism now, we're totally fucked.

nah, you guys are fine. everyone else is fucked, and below you.

[IwishIwasalittlegirl]

I work in a CD/DVD store (no, not a record store). Recently this drunkard has started coming in and telling me about his "research on subliminals" and his various conspiracy theories about Walt Disney, Satanic/Nazi corporations and covert attempts to influence the populous with occult shenanigans. Anyway, the other day, he told me in the same breath, gesturing to Black Sabbath's "Paranoid" album that -- in fact, he was the guy on the cover of that album....right after telling me he was born in 1966...

which means, that he would have been 4 years old when this picture was taken;




I hate dealing with the public.

[riley-o]

does your dad work in higher education though ?

that's the part that gets me. i understand not everything is for everyone; i've met plenty of people who don't read, which makes me raise an eyebrow of course, but it's not uncommon.

but someone who is actually involved with education ?! that's like a carpenter who doesn't really like tools.

[riley-o]

welp,

[Necrometer]

I have to read shit for work so no I would not like to read more stuff at home. Fuck you ivory tower elitists!

[Wang Mandu]

"Where are you from?"

"Try to guess."

"Canada."