I have THE FARTS

Mari_Mar · Post by **Mari_Mar** » Fri Apr 01, 2011 2:13 pm

delmuerte wrote:I just had Indian food for lunch. I've already shit twice since then and my stomach is practically howling with winds of my ancestors. Tonight my girlfriend suffers.

This is precisely why Brian is no longer allowed to eat that horrid stuff.

BUNGVOX · Post by **BUNGVOX** » Fri Apr 01, 2011 2:38 pm

nothing says 'drop your panties you young sluts' better than to do a couple of pressed hams in a food court within proximity of young girls.

Mari_Mar · Post by **Mari_Mar** » Fri Apr 01, 2011 2:38 pm

BUNGVOX wrote:nothing says 'drop your panties you young sluts' better than to do a couple of pressed hams in a food court within proximity of young girls.

soiled depends · Post by **soiled depends** » Fri Apr 29, 2011 9:21 pm

the only thing to DO IS eat her ahhHOLE.....

soiled depends · Post by **soiled depends** » Fri Apr 29, 2011 9:23 pm

TRAP SUCCESS = FUCKINS

soiled depends · Post by **soiled depends** » Fri Apr 29, 2011 9:26 pm

THE SCENT OF PURE SHIT is cured by deep dickin...smash her face with a turd and go buck wild on that snatch....

Toxicarius · Post by **Toxicarius** » Fri Apr 29, 2011 9:27 pm

I have THE GURGLES right now. Something unholy is developing deep within my innards... that chicken sausage I had earlier might've been tainted, I don't know. All I know is that the intestinal THE GURGLES are being joined by THE GROWLS. And there's an occasional THE SQUEAK thrown in for good measure.

What does it all mean? Can't be sure, but I'm afraid I may be losing some sleep tonight. These THE GURGLES are usually followed by THE SHITS interlaced with THE FARTS, sometimes culminating in THE MIGHTY ERUPTION. The lights will be burning all night in Toxie's shithouse...

soiled depends · Post by **soiled depends** » Fri Apr 29, 2011 9:30 pm

the gurg;es are soon paired with THE COLD SWEATS....

soiled depends · Post by **soiled depends** » Fri Apr 29, 2011 9:32 pm

pLETS JUST POST SOME MORE CABOOSE FARTUBES and put all this hooriblrness behind us...

Toxicarius · Post by **Toxicarius** » Fri Apr 29, 2011 9:33 pm

Do not make light of my plight on this night of anal fright, alright?

Comrade Slinky · Post by **Comrade Slinky** » Fri Apr 29, 2011 9:35 pm

Yesterday I ate spaghetti for breakfast lunch and dinner. Thought about going to the hospital for a few hours.

John Jr. · Post by **John Jr.** » Fri Apr 29, 2011 9:35 pm

i have recurring THE GURRGLES with THE HERSHEY SQUIRTS and THE COLD SWEATS and THE DIZZIEZ.

great times.

Toxicarius · Post by **Toxicarius** » Fri Apr 29, 2011 10:12 pm

Round One of TUBA BLASTS and PARTICLE STREAMS is on its way to the sewage treatment facility. It was not a pretty sight. Round Two is pending... :stains:

Zerohero · Post by **Zerohero** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 10:43 am

where do the THE JET PROPULSION LAB BROWN SQUIRTS fit in?

ungodlywarlock · Post by **ungodlywarlock** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 8:58 pm

Worst case of THE FARTS I ever had was from a case of bad judgement where I ate a ghetto grilled cheese sandwich for lunch (at work, so this entailed two slices of toast and a slap or two of NON KRAFT cheese (this is an important detail...I stole it from the fridge as it was all that was in there) and IN THE SAME DAY ate one of those Chicken Parmesan sandwiches from Burger King.

Don't ask why...I can't explain why. The lunch was because I forgot to bring something to work and I was too busy to go out for lunch and dinner was just me being absent minded about remembering what I had to lunch to properly balance it.

THE FARTS smelled insanely sharp. Like as soon as THE FARTS exited my body, it seems like they went back in time and I smelled them before I remember farting.
Processed chese + processed cheese + processed chicken + no nutrition whatsoever = THE FARTS.

Toxicarius · Post by **Toxicarius** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 10:05 pm

24 hours later and Round Two never came... I can't remember the last time I went 24 hours without shitting. Now I may have to fear THE POO CORK. When that thing pops, move to higher ground... Friendly warning type-waiz...

ungodlywarlock · Post by **ungodlywarlock** » Sun May 01, 2011 4:41 pm

electronicham wrote:
ungodlywarlock wrote:a slap or two of NON KRAFT cheese

SPOILERSPOILER_SHOW

Some things you do not skimp on. Kraft is one of them. Try Piedmont Mac N. Cheese (which I had to suffer through in college days) for an example.

Zerohero · Post by **Zerohero** » Mon May 02, 2011 11:28 am

THIS THREAD

then

BIN LADEN DEAD

Coincidence??? :theylive:

pleasuretokill · Post by **pleasuretokill** » Mon May 02, 2011 5:14 pm

I've eaten Jack In The Box for breakfast and Wendy's for dinner (at work all day and didn't bring food) My THE FARTS feel like they are burning a hole through the chair. Someone walked into the office awhile back and accused me of taking a shit in the room and hiding it in the corner somewhere, an accusation that I did not deny.

badgevvrecker · Post by **badgevvrecker** » Mon May 02, 2011 5:48 pm

drank apple juice. forgot it gives me constant ghost farts.

DanBehavingBadly · Post by **DanBehavingBadly** » Sun Sep 11, 2011 10:41 am

I guess today is Patriot Day, so I'd like to take this opportunity to thank eham for his service, and to thank his anal vapors for making the eagle cry. NEVAR FORGET!!!1!

Zap Rowsdower · Post by **Zap Rowsdower** » Thu Sep 29, 2011 9:07 am

My lunch was two pork chops with about 3 servings of this cannellini bean dish I make.

I need to find some elevators and salespeople to help me while I unleash my THE FARTS.

\m/Johnny\m/ · Post by **\m/Johnny\m/** » Thu Sep 29, 2011 9:18 am

DanBehavingBadly wrote:
Friendly Goatus wrote:
The one at around 0:30 didn't sound very clean.

That's gonna itch when it dries.

guardianoftheblind · Post by **guardianoftheblind** » Sat Oct 08, 2011 9:18 am

the FARTS......i have them

Pastor of Muppets · Post by **Pastor of Muppets** » Sat Oct 08, 2011 9:24 am

next time you lay down a silent one around some people ask "is something burning?" and then everyone breathes in through their nose. so satisfying.

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