Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

[thürstön.3®®0®]

i realized a long time ago that some people do not get "the inner movie" when they read (or just dont get it worth a damn). i feel sorry for them, as the best that they'll ever get is whatever the director came up with. if i didn't have that, i could see why someone might prefer to sit around watching the box.

[hana maru]

I have to read shit for work so no I would not like to read more stuff at home. Fuck you ivory tower elitists!

i was like this when i was in school but my work has always been reading-free (read: entry level bs) so bring on the books.

i read junk, fyi. with the tv on sometimes. might as well be watching the tv...

[ratanda]

Written by my manager's friend (also works here.. so kind of a co-worker, but not really) in response to this article about Atlanta being the nation's gayest city. This guy comes around sometimes asking for coding help, so I should see if I can get more stuff like this out of him. He somehow is always able to tie everything to christianity's judgement day.

http://www.ajc.com/news/atlanta/magazin ... tArticle=y

Time to open up our mouths and let the FIRE of this gospel out. This is perfect! That means if Jesus was to come to earth right now for ministry purposes and choose a spot to preach, He would start in Atlanta. Because this is obviously the place where the sickest people are. And you don't send a doctor to a place where everybody is healthy, you send the dr's to the place where people are the sickest.

Jesus said let our light shine. Well, with the darkness in this city, this is the perfect opportunity to let our light shine. Our light should be able to shine bright in the midst of this darkness.



Matthew 5:14-16

14. Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.
15. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.
16. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
Question: Hey Jesus, what "works" are you talking about? What works should these unsaved men see from us?
Answer: Matthew 11:2-6
2. Now when John had heard in the prison the WORKS of Christ, he sent two of his disciples,
3. And said unto him, Art thou he that should come, or do we look for another?
4. Jesus answered and said unto them, Go and shew John AGAIN those things which ye do hear and see:
5. The blind receive their sight, and the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, and the deaf hear, the dead are raised up, and the poor have the gospel preached to them.
6. And blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me.

[Chevalier Mal Fet]

Read from bottom-up, I'm getting close to a breakthrough here, I can feel it....

SPOILERSPOILER_SHOW

For which I do apologize, however I am reaching out to you now for that very purpose. We will be happy to obtain and provide any documentation which you may require regarding this incident or, when necessary, make available to you any personnel to assist in your investigation. If you can provide me a list of both documents and people you need to review/interview, I can start lining it up for you.

In the meantime, if you can provide us with some idea of what the attorney claims the extent of injuries are, and what his side of the story is, that would be very helpful.

Thank you.

Me
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Sent: Friday, February 26, 2010 3:27 PM

There is not much of a status since I have been unable to investigate the claim do to the fact that the insured has not returned my call to discuss the loss.

At this time I have spoken with the attorney for the claimant and she made me aware of what his injuries are and what he is claiming occurred.

Claims Adjuster

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Sent: Thursday, February 25, 2010 12:03 PM

I do apologize on Boss’s behalf, for his lack of response, if can you summarize the status to date and advise of any additional needs for information you may have, I will do my best to address them immediately.

Me
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Sent: Thursday, February 25, 2010 2:30 PM

I have been attempted to reach Your Boss to discuss the loss and he has failed to return my calls. I made attempts on 12/24/09, 1/20/10, & 2/16/10.

Claims Adjuster
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Sent: Thursday, February 25, 2010 6:43 AM

Good Afternoon Claims Adjuster

We are the independent consultant for Company and were advised by Company that you were handling this claim. Can you please provide us with a status update including any of your needs for documentation in this matter as we have not heard anything to date.

Thank you.

Me.

I just now realized, this woman needed information, so she called my boss three times, once a month for three months, did it ever occur to her to go back to the person who actually submitted the claim (ME), the one who might be responsible for such correspondence and contact that person?

My one boss is super busy, and yes he sucks at getting back to people including myself, but seriously who wants odds on how many more times I need to ask the question before this bitch takes the stick out and starts cooperating.

[Hotchka!]

"We're supposed to do our jobs not play on the computer."

my record is six weeks without seeing or speaking to anyone, which is my job.

[Dr Yail Bloor]

"We're supposed to do our jobs not play on the computer."

my record is six weeks without seeing or speaking to anyone, which is my job.

what do you do?

[Hotchka!]

graveyard shift receptionist

[Dr Yail Bloor]

graveyard shift receptionist

for what?

[Wang Mandu]

for a graveyard Bloor, are you drunk?

[Hotchka!]

a highrise

[soiled depends]

for a graveyard Bloor, are you drunk?

[Dr Yail Bloor]

for a graveyard Bloor, are you drunk?

see, you were wrong, you total bell end

[death by snoo snoo]

I was ringing up some guy's Joel Osteen book and a giant book called The History of the Crusades we have displayed caught his eye. I only know this because he said the title and then wondered aloud, "huh. What in the heck is that?"

[Broken Into Pieces]

"Which one is the bestest?"

Question repeatedly asked of a grade two student, by an alleged English teacher. Not just any English teacher, mind, but the senior Korean teacher at the school... the one that the director is telling the other Koreans that they should be taking their cues from.

[Deadhouse]

Not work related, but I had a guy I work with tell me he used some special bit torrent program that didn't need to be connected to the internet

[neckbeard]

The old receptionist never said a word to me except hello and goodbye, this new one; She goes on smoke breaks all the time, whatever. But she has to announce it every time. Just go, lady.

edit: oh man she just asked me to help her with her math homework.

[Tony Twist]

The old receptionist never said a word to me except hello and goodbye, this new one; She goes on smoke breaks all the time, whatever. But she has to announce it every time. Just go, lady.

edit: oh man she just asked me to help her with her math homework.

I'm guessing she's not a looker.

[Hypnagogia]

hahaha just got forwarded an email from a coworker w/ a link to the video showing a cell phone causing popcorn to pop.

[Hypnagogia]

A few of us were talking about the very recent announcement that Colorado is joining the Pac 10, and how much more money they're going to get due to TV licensing. A guy here segued into talking about the economic status of the country and said "We're going to end up like Venezuela or Greece...and they don't even have football there!"

[Whee of the Dead]

"We're supposed to do our jobs not play on the computer."

my record is six weeks without seeing or speaking to anyone, which is my job.

This sounds like the perfect job for me.

[danox3]

My boss and the owner of the company, talking to all us salesfolk about an new product

"Look, we're not trying to re-invent the ball here!"

[jakebonz@work]

I was thinking about this thread on my way into work today and how I haven't had any reason to post in this thread since I started this job.

Everyone here seems to breathe through their noses...

[rape bear]

I was thinking about this thread on my way into work today and how I haven't had any reason to post in this thread since I started this job.

Everyone here seems to breathe through their noses...

I want to do whatever you do.

[jakebonz]

I was thinking about this thread on my way into work today and how I haven't had any reason to post in this thread since I started this job.

Everyone here seems to breathe through their noses...

I want to do whatever you do.

Work someplace very small and white collar. That way stupidity tends to stand out and get weeded out.

[rape bear]

It's funny; I split my time between to jobs that are so polar opposite of each other, that it makes all the degenerates at my one job seem so much worse.