Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

[ungodlywarlock]

save that now they are never without distraction. why bother finding common ground with the rest of humanity when you can farmville on your phone?

Yeah, there's a lot of people that never take their eyes off their phone. But the person that only casually plays a game or surfs the internet on their phone would be indiscernible from someone addicted to it.

The reason I bring this up is because I actually had a co-worker lay into me one time (stupid things DONE after work), because I wanted to quickly send a text to my wife letting her know that I was going to have a couple beers. Then this guy decides to go on a one-beer-to-the-wind tirade about how society is on a downfall and how people "like me" can't stay off their phones. It was really irritating to be confronted by someone who clearly had shitall for social skills ripping into my for my "lack of social skills" because I used my phone.

I didn't even get a real cel phone until 2008 for fuck's sake, excuse me if I update myself for the new millenium by sending my wife a text.

So that's why I am curious about your opinion, because I really don't see anything wrong with it unless it's actually impacting your day somehow. Yeah, "Loud asshole on the phone", I get the hate for that guy. But someone quietly minding their own business playing Angry Birds? Who gives a fuck.

[caldwell.the.great]

"I think it's un-American for people to be critical of the sitting president. I don't like Obama, and I wasn't a big fan of George W., but I'd never say a bad word about them while they're in office."

"Uh, don't you think it's most important to be critical of them when they're in the office?"

"No, no, I think that's treason."

you work with Britney Spears?

It's funny you say that. He's in his late 50s and loves Lady Gaga.

[Tony Twist]

save that now they are never without distraction. why bother finding common ground with the rest of humanity when you can farmville on your phone?

Yeah, there's a lot of people that never take their eyes off their phone. But the person that only casually plays a game or surfs the internet on their phone would be indiscernible from someone addicted to it.

The reason I bring this up is because I actually had a co-worker lay into me one time (stupid things DONE after work), because I wanted to quickly send a text to my wife letting her know that I was going to have a couple beers. Then this guy decides to go on a one-beer-to-the-wind tirade about how society is on a downfall and how people "like me" can't stay off their phones. It was really irritating to be confronted by someone who clearly had shitall for social skills ripping into my for my "lack of social skills" because I used my phone.

I didn't even get a real cel phone until 2008 for fuck's sake, excuse me if I update myself for the new millenium by sending my wife a text.

So that's why I am curious about your opinion, because I really don't see anything wrong with it unless it's actually impacting your day somehow. Yeah, "Loud asshole on the phone", I get the hate for that guy. But someone quietly minding their own business playing Angry Birds? Who gives a fuck.

That's when you should have said "you know what? You're right, I don't need to send a text, I'm going home."

[ungodlywarlock]

save that now they are never without distraction. why bother finding common ground with the rest of humanity when you can farmville on your phone?

Yeah, there's a lot of people that never take their eyes off their phone. But the person that only casually plays a game or surfs the internet on their phone would be indiscernible from someone addicted to it.

The reason I bring this up is because I actually had a co-worker lay into me one time (stupid things DONE after work), because I wanted to quickly send a text to my wife letting her know that I was going to have a couple beers. Then this guy decides to go on a one-beer-to-the-wind tirade about how society is on a downfall and how people "like me" can't stay off their phones. It was really irritating to be confronted by someone who clearly had shitall for social skills ripping into my for my "lack of social skills" because I used my phone.

I didn't even get a real cel phone until 2008 for fuck's sake, excuse me if I update myself for the new millenium by sending my wife a text.

So that's why I am curious about your opinion, because I really don't see anything wrong with it unless it's actually impacting your day somehow. Yeah, "Loud asshole on the phone", I get the hate for that guy. But someone quietly minding their own business playing Angry Birds? Who gives a fuck.

That's when you should have said "you know what? You're right, I don't need to send a text, I'm going home."

Actually, I did....and he got all "Awwwwwwwww.....what the fuck maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan". Then spent the next 3 days at work apologizing for his "drunken" behavior. Whatever.

[neckbeard]

I'm in an endless loop between IngramMicro and HP. Ingram sent me a Procurve with no power supply in the box. Both companies say to contact the other one for a replacement...

[smellmyfinger]

Did you ever think people just don't want to talk to you?

[Pastor of Muppets]

"it's hard to order food through the drive-through while it's raining."

[valgalder]

I'm in an endless loop between IngramMicro and HP. Ingram sent me a Procurve with no power supply in the box. Both companies say to contact the other one for a replacement...

haha, we do a LOT of work with/for IngramMicro... and exclusively HP.. it could be our fault.

[Pastor of Muppets]

coworker: "i dont understand how god can be angry and god can also be love at the same time."

me: "a contradiction in the bible? NO WAY!"

coworker: "theres no contradictions in the bible, you just dont understand it."

me: "you just said you didnt understand it."

coworker: *walks away*

[valgalder]

coworker: "i dont understand how god can be angry and god can also be love at the same time."

me: "a contradiction in the bible? NO WAY!"

coworker: "theres no contradictions in the bible, you just dont understand it."

me: "you just said you didnt understand it."

coworker: *walks away*

[riley-o]

"No, Amadeus was the deranged Rival of Mozart..."

...

"His name is Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart"

"Oh yeah. Whatever. "

hahahahahahha this is so great

[hana maru]

coworker: "i dont understand how god can be angry and god can also be love at the same time."

me: "a contradiction in the bible? NO WAY!"

coworker: "theres no contradictions in the bible, you just dont understand it."

me: "you just said you didnt understand it."

coworker: *walks away*

They're just telling themselves that satan is working through you to test their faith.

[bundlesofvitals]

Holding interviews today. Least likely to get the job...some dude came in with his wife who waited for him during the interview, and then he said "we're outie!" as they left...

[T O))) M]

Dumb thing I SAW at work:

I saw a mens with the license plate "KANAK" hit 2 parked cars and knock them into a third car which was then stopped by a wooden post. Kanak's car got the worst damage; his passenger side bumper/headlight was fuct and his tire was flat.

[Vanessa America]

Coworker calls a guy and leaves him a voice mail. She hangs up and says, "I bet he will call back immediately and ask to talk to me and say he didn't listen to the message".
Phone rings.
I answer.
It's him, he asks to speak with her.
I said, "She (coworker) just ran into an interview, did you listen to her voice mail that she left you?"
He says "no, what is the voice mail?"
I know he wants me to repeat her message, instead, I respond, "voice mail... it's like when your cell phone has it's own answering machine, it's a place for people to leave you audible messages".

[Hypnagogia]

I put this in another thread but it deserves to live here:

After everyone on staff, not just the people working for him (which included all full time employees under him AND all 30 student workers collectively), complained about my supervisor being a complete and utter prick in an endless amount of ways, after the dude has been written up by HR for other shit he's done, the uber boss of the office told us that she , "Still believes he can be an effective leader" and that she's going to hire a "management consulting firm" to come in and "figure out the problem".

I'm guessing something like this will be thousands and thousands of dollars to do, though we've been told for years there are no raises in the budget for us long-time workers.

:what:

expect him to stay, and a couple of the most vocal coworkers to get fired/redeployed.

[Necrometer]

is there any chance of nepotism or other behind-the-scenes shit guaranteeing this guy's job security?

not really the same scenario... but my sister & her boyfriend currently have an awesome place - 3/4 of this house with a killer, unique vibe to it and a great location - the problem is the dude that lives in the other part of the house, who is a white trash idiot constantly yelling at his kids/dogs/woman, and his smoking creeps into their place... and they know he's not going anywhere for a long time because he's the landlord's nephew or something - sucks

... - - ... -

[riley-o]

do you have something like a confidentiality agreement in your contract about not going to the press ? i can't imagine they wouldn't love a story like this about a major US university in our PC world...

[riley-o]

if you end up losing the job anyway, it surely must be tempting to imagine doing

[How Are Mortiis Goatse?!]

This thread makes me happy that the research group I'm in consists of 4 people (including me) that are neither assholes, morons, lazy, or incompetent, and that 90% of my work time is spent working alone in the lab with whatever music I want playing as loud as I want. However, when I talk to other co-workers in other research groups or departments there's apparently tons of conflict, drama, nepotism and downright unethical shit going on everywhere elsewhere at the university, so I know I'm just lucky, and it probably won't last forever.

[ratanda]

The other day a coworker asked me if there's medicine in my eyeglasses. I didn't know what she meant so i just said, "No."
Confused, she asked, "So those are regular pieces of glass in your eyeglasses?"



American-born, native English speaker.

Fucking MEDICINE.

She's also one of the people that says, "on tomorrow" and "on yesterday"

[ratanda]

And lately my manager has been saying "eKstablish" instead of "establish."

[jakebonz@work]

I never thought I would have to explain First Normal Form (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_normal_form) TO FUCKING DBAs...

[ratanda]

Haha fuck!!! Did they understand and were cool with it or did they fight against it? I went through something similar with my manager.

[jakebonz@work]

Haha fuck!!! Did they understand and were cool with it or did they fight against it? I went through something similar with my manager.

The tables are already done. It's a data transfer issue now. Let me give you a paraphrased timeline (Keep in mind that this project is supposed to be done at the end of the month):

October
Mr. Bonz, we need you to make the new database for this new part of the site!
Sure thing! There's nothing in the requirements document about it, and I'm not responsible for transferring the old data, but I'll try to make it as close to the existing database as possible. Do the "customers" have a copy of it?
Uh, they don't have access to the original table...they just work on the MS Access forms...
Soo...they wrote the requirements without knowing what the data actually looks like?
Pretty much!
Can I talk to someone that does have access to it?
They're not available. They can't get someone to take an hour out of their day to go over it with you. Just wing it.

November
Mr. Bonz, why haven't created that table yet?
I'm still not quite sure I should even be making the new table without any sort of knowledge as to what the old one looks like. Especially if someone's going to be transferring old data.
That doesn't matter. We need that table made. Just make it so it will work in the site.
Ok, you're the boss...

Skip ahead to March
Mr. Bonz, we're having trouble matching up our old data with your new table. What's the deal, bro? Why did you make the table like this?
Because I made the table(s) to work with my site, even though I asked you kindly several times for some help with the old database. Let me explain mine. This table here holds each listbox item. This table holds what the user selected out of the listbox.
...uhh...we just dump all of that into an unorganized text field
*starts banging phone against head*
What's that knocking noise?
...nothing...