The Bill's Now Playing Video Game Thread (Now with Bames)

[doomeddisciple]

Destiny fuckin sucks - like the two aren’t even comparable gameplay wise. You can play this single player if you want want but you do need to be online.

[The Bill]

Destiny fuckin sucks - like the two aren’t even comparable gameplay wise. You can play this single player if you want want but you do need to be online.

Thanks again for the recommendation but it’s just not ever happening. I’m sure it will be free on the Epic games store in about a year.

I reinstalled Postal 4, because I saw it was out of early access for some time. It’s a lot like Postal 2, which is great and awful at the same time. I doubt I’ll really get to it for awhile, but this shit is heavy on my guilty pleasures list.

[The Bill]

Beat Tomb Raider Legend. I liked it, but emulation save states and a cheat that gives infinite underwater breathing to compensate for shit swimming controls helped a lot. Unfortunately, Tomb Raider Anniversary and Underground (?) aren’t on the GameCube and the PS2 emulator is a pain for adding cheats. So, I started Anniversary on the PC. Fine so far, but again with the keyboard prompts instead of controller. Maybe we don’t back to back this era of Tomb Raider.

Continuing The Darkness. Way harder than I remember, which means that age is totally starting to handicap me. Dagdabit!

I, uh, secured a bunch of PC games via a website or two. I have a ton of Metroidvanias now. Maybe we do that. Problem with a lot of modern Metriodvanias is they’ve added Souls-like elements or roguelike faggotry.

[The Bill]

Ultros, man:



I love how this game looks. I love the design of it. Love the "bio-punk" meets psychedelic funk. But, it's not nailing the landing. Combat is messy, you're only weapon is too short for Metrovania type ways. Enemies aren't varied and some are a chore, not a challenge to beat. Many things are a tad confusing or hard to see. Yet, the real problem is the game is actually a rouge-lite, and apparently you need to replay the whole map a few times, but they reset your upgrades and blah blah rouge-likes/lites fucking suck. So, with a heavy heart I must abandon the game. Just not good.

[FVBTVS]

damn thats a shame. looks so fucking awesome

[Glub]

Ultros, man:



I love how this game looks. I love the design of it. Love the "bio-punk" meets psychedelic funk. But, it's not nailing the landing. Combat is messy, you're only weapon is too short for Metrovania type ways. Enemies aren't varied and some are a chore, not a challenge to beat. Many things are a tad confusing or hard to see. Yet, the real problem is the game is actually a rouge-lite, and apparently you need to replay the whole map a few times, but they reset your upgrades and blah blah rouge-likes/lites fucking suck. So, with a heavy heart I must abandon the game. Just not good.

I grabbed the demo and tried it and mostly thought the same.

After resisting Lies of P because of what struck me as a stupid premise, I gave it a try and it's Bloodborne. Loving it.

[The Bill]

I grabbed the demo and tried it and mostly thought the same.

After resisting Lies of P because of what struck me as a stupid premise, I gave it a try and it's Bloodborne. Loving it.

I grabbed the whole game (Ultros) off the internet. I’m so jaded and pissed off with modern games that I’m pirating all the newer shit and will consider purchasing it if it’s long term worthy of being in my library. Seriously, between games like Robocop that still needed patching since November, games like Tomb Raider 1-2-3 Remaster that doesn’t have working sound in my PC, or games like Starfield, that are Starfield. All makes me sick.

Lies of P is such an odd premise. Hey, everybody, want to play a dark take on fucking Pinocchio? It’s the type of setting I can see being a thing from the SNES era to the PS2 era. Mostly PS2, when they were still experimental but also mature.

Since, Ultros was a bust, but I still crave that Metriodvania fix, I started Infernax. It’s kind of like Simon’s Quest, via a Super Nintendo on steroids. It’s fun. And I know that if you don’t dig on a Belmont type character you can enter different names that will let you play it like Contra or Splatter House.

[The Bill]

I’m on a roll. Infernal defeated. I guess there’s more than one ending, but we have to keep marching on, people.

So, I started the first Turok Dinosaur Hunter. The Xbox controller is so much better than the N64, I can actually do the platform jumping without having a shit fit. Anyhow, as a real DOOM clone from the day, it’s aged pretty well.

[The Bill]

I’m had forgotten that Turok got so boring. The levels are too big, too maze like, everything looks the same, and is filled with respawning enemies. So, I used some cheat codes to visit all the levels to confirm it’s always the same shit and it was. I fought all the bosses and beat the game, but I essentially skipped all the filler and key finding. I ate the inside of the Cadbury egg but threw the chocolate shell out the window at a bag lady.

Tried the Metrovania known as Ghost Song. Another looker. These 2D games are killing the 3D counterparts lately. Still, much like Ultros, a game must be more that a looker. Not too good. It’s like a combination of Metroid and Dark Souls and I hate it. Can stamina meters not be a thing in 2D games, thank you.

I aim to beat one of those Bond games for the PS2. Agent Under Fire? It has driving, which I don’t like, but we’ll see.

[godofdeadlydeath]

I’m on a roll. Infernal defeated. I guess there’s more than one ending, but we have to keep marching on, people.

So, I started the first Turok Dinosaur Hunter. The Xbox controller is so much better than the N64, I can actually do the platform jumping without having a shit fit. Anyhow, as a real DOOM clone from the day, it’s aged pretty well.

I never had the original Turok but Turok 2 for N64 was tremendous. I had that expansion pack thingy that made the graphics a little sharper and it was one of the best-looking N64 games I can recall along with Perfect Dark.

[Eight Bit Alien]

Not too good. It’s like a combination of Metroid and Dark Souls and I hate it. Can stamina meters not be a thing in 2D games, thank you.

I fucking hate this shit. Hate it. That last metroid game was fucking donkey shit - nobody has ever cracked the Super Metroid/SOTN formula, despite all the billions of attempts over the years. So now you're gonna try to give me metroid fusion instead? Fuck off.

Everything is pattern memorization and fucking mortal kombat button combos. It's not what made these games good at all. There's no real exploration and the environments lack life. Fuckin discord "programming socks" furry horseshit

[The Bill]

I fucking hate this shit. Hate it. That last metroid game was fucking donkey shit - nobody has ever cracked the Super Metroid/SOTN formula, despite all the billions of attempts over the years. So now you're gonna try to give me metroid fusion instead? Fuck off.

Everything is pattern memorization and fucking mortal kombat button combos. It's not what made these games good at all. There's no real exploration and the environments lack life. Fuckin discord "programming socks" furry horseshit
[/quote]

Here is a list of sub categories that usually get a huge snub by The Bill:

Turn based: If I had to do this I’d rather play real Dungeon & Dragons, not girl face boy band main character JRPGs. The Paper Mario games are cool, though. Since they allow more interact.

Rouge lite/like: Lazy game design. It’s a one hour game made into 10 hours by unfair gameplay and repetition. It’s still more fair than NES games with limited continues, but a big dump on the side of the road is still a big dump.

Souls-like: Aka, let’s keep ripping off From Software and we never, ever do it right. Dudes, you can make a dark black metal world without stealing from the goddamn Japanese.

Co-op: Means single player will suck.

MMO: Means single player will suck.

Combo based: As you said, Mortal Kombat shit. Combos are for assholes, plan and simple. The kind of people *cough* Molester Stallone *cough* that like this AIDS ridden Simon electron game shit are all uncharismatic assholes.

Puzzle/Pattern: Not my cup of pee, but pattern recognition in boss fights is kind of an eternal thing. From Cutsman to Metal Gear Rex, you do need to learn, so I’m not mad at that. One hit kill shit is complete bullshit, though. Even Infernax’s final boss had that. But you learn and you mock them. Doing puzzles during a boss fight, though. Lame as fuck.

Motion Controls: FUCK YOU!!!

Female Protagonist: Best be a hot little British number, or some babe giggling them pixel or voxel or vector tits and ass. Ugly modern chicks need not apply. Only third person is allowed. First person shooter as a woman is rotten to the core, except for British women, then it’s fine. As long as they aren’t darkies. No one wants to be a minority women unless you plan a weekend of masto batin and dyking out with British women. I might like British woman. Also, I want to see the bottom of their feet. And tits. British tit feet!

Any game with satanism, cannibalism, necrophilia, incest,
and torture: Oh wait. These are good things.

[cxwx]

[The Bill]

I remember watching a "Let's Play" of that piece of shit YEARS ago. I have no idea who has the patience to beat something like that. Complete pattern memory game that James and I discussed hating.

Beat The Darkness. Love it mostly, but you get too damn lost and turned around, a lot. It's an early 360 game originally, so I guess there's still archaic level design from the PS2 era.

I didn't know what to play next so my-son showed me a roulette program I can drop game names into, then spin the wheel. I threw a bunch of random shit I might be interested in right now and...... Brutal Heretic RPG with HD-3D graphics won.

Heretic! A complete unapologetic DOOM clone running in the DOOM engine. I've tried it at times in the past, and it's okay. This Brutal version is top notch, though. Better than most Boomer Shooters I've tried. I'm through the majority of the first episode, and I'll probably stop there and come back later. I just want a full course meal, Brutal Heretic is dessert.

So, let's spin the wheel, right now. In real time.

Drum roll, please:

[The Bill]

HEAVY METAL: FAKK2




I apologize for the lousy resolution in the video, best I could find.

2000 third person action game based on the second Heavy Metal animated film, starring some porn star with really shitty hair. It runs on the Quake 3 engine, so it has that look to it, which I've always liked. I used to dig this title, but last time I played it... damn! I don't even think me and the Mrs. were official boyfriend and girlfriend, yet. I found a copy recently online that someone was nice enough to patch, and fix for modern PC. I added a fan made HD texture pack (which is very decent for a fan made texture pack). Honestly, I often do this. Find an old game, see if I can run it at 4K and add whatever fan made improvement, then I never touch the game. And I thought this would just be that all over again. BUT THE WHEEL HAS THUS FORTH DECIDED!

All you motherfuckers giving me the beef over womens fighting mens in the movie thread, and here I am playing as a women AGAIN, this year. In fact, I might have been a woman more than a dude in games this year so far. So, lick my clit, bitches.

[Eight Bit Alien]

Im curious about brutal heretic but the original was so boring to me - it was like wolfenstein, just monotonous. Dunno if brutalizing it would solve that

[The Bill]

Im curious about brutal heretic but the original was so boring to me - it was like wolfenstein, just monotonous. Dunno if brutalizing it would solve that

Oh, baby. It upgrades the graphics tastefully, and makes it a dream to play on modern PC. The blood. The blood!!! Weapons are a joy, and enemies (so far) are delightful fodder to my magical onslaught. They added a leveling up system which I don’t understand and all sorts of miscellaneous powers and enemies. It just feels and plays like silk running much better than other DOOM mods. And the fucking sound track is the most underrated from the era I can think off. Imagine Dark Souls (yes, Dark Souls) soundtrack merged with some zippy badass electronic guitar laying some riffs, Slick?

[spacehamster]

Finished Armored Core 6 today. It looks good and it's really fun if you like giant robots, and most of all it's kind of amazing how well it controls, considering that it's a Fromsoft game. The fact that it just straight-up feels good to play is probably its biggest strength.

The problem I have with it is that the big challenge is supposed to be figuring out the best loadout for each boss, and after a while you realize the best loadout and strategy is basically always "equip two gatling guns and get right in his face", and that's pretty much all there is to it, with some slight variations. And the arena mode really drives that home. I might not have figured it out just in the campaign, but once you've done a dozen arena fights the exact same way you kind of realize it works for everything.

The game also bounces you straight into NG+ at the end, which is pretty annoying. I actually wanted to replay some levels and pick up some of the loot I'd missed. Oh well.

Maybe I'll do NG+, but more likely I'll either go back to BG3 next or finally play the Cyberpunk 2077 expansion.

[The Bill]

Heavy Metal: FAKK2 - Completed! Nostalgia glasses help the game. Jesus Christ, though, I don’t remember such an annoying and sometimes frustrating game. I died a lot. A real lot. I’m probably stupid enough to replay it again when I’m almost 60, and it gives me a heart attack. Game is wonderful perverted, with the fetish outfits the main character wears. Can’t do that any more.

Time to spin the wheel in real time:

Diablo (PS1 Version because I’m not dealing with Battle Net nor the redundant clicking of my mouse)

[The Bill]

This game is rotten. Too archaic! Fail!

Let’s spin again.

Perfect Dark on the Xbox. Never played more than the first 3 levels a hundred years ago.

[spacehamster]

Finished Armored Core 6 today.

Update: I am now four days into my platinum run.

Sigh.

[The Bill]

BREAKING NEWS!!!!

The Bill played and beat Contra: Operation Galuga. It was fine. The best a modern Contra game could be since no one gets older games anymore that aren’t indie games. It’s the forth best Contra game I’ve played. It takes a bunch of stuff from Contra, Super C, and Contra 3 and blends it together with inferior newer stuff. It looks like one of those 360 era Xbox Live games meets a mobile game. Again, it was fine.

Spun the wheel because I didn’t want to turn the Xbox on.

And it’s….

BRUTAL DOOM 64


Oh fuck!

[The Bill]

And it’s….

BRUTAL DOOM 64

Oh fuck!

Goddammit! So, I used "unofficial" version 2.666 of Brutal DOOM 64. I was enjoying it. Yet, It's kind of a mess, the real problem are the Revenants that aren't native to DOOM 64. Their missiles home in on you too well, and the damage isn't DOOM 2 Revenant damage, this shit is Cyberdemon level damage. Revanents shoot two rockets at once. So, it's a two projectiles homing attack that essentially one hit kills. I just don't want to save scum this much. I don't know if it's the unofficial version that made them this way, or if vanilla Brutal DOOM 64 has this problem as well. Figures! Evey year, between Winter and Spring I either lose interest in gaming for a spell, or I have non-stop issues. So, what to do? Oh, I know....

SPIN THE WHEEL (I love the wheel)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer : Chaos Bleeds (NGC via Dolphin Emulator)

Wow! What's the chances I actually finish this? Honestly, if Eliza Dushku's character 'Faith' wasnt in this I would have never downloaded the ROM/ISO.


P.S. I randomly tried a game called The Gore Doctor. It looked like SAW meets Resident Evil 7. It's more like SHIT meets Resident Feeble.

[ghost boner]

Beat robocop rogue city. Pretty good but that last boss was the least fun I've ever had playing a video game

[The Bill]

Beat robocop rogue city. Pretty good but that last boss was the least fun I've ever had playing a video game

I was pretty drunk and stoned when I beat him. It wasn’t fun, but I don’t remember it being stressful either.