Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

[Perch?]

Heard this one at work.

Woman on phone: "Yea, it's a good thing I showed up in court 'cause my lawguy said if I didn't they might of tooked away my baby."

[Cascade Whore]

"The best part about heavy music is the break downs"
"The Faceless are sooo sick"

[Wang Mandu]

"This Punch You in Yo Dick video is hilarious!"

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

"This Punch You in Yo Dick video is hilarious!"

So you leave half-retarded English as a second language people in front of your computer and force them to watch things that make you angry? somebody needs to relax and stop taking everything so seriously.

[Bored IV]

I've only talked to two people IRL about Celtic Frost. One of them said, "Eh, they sound too much like Megadeth." So...yeah.

[soiled depends]

I've only talked to two people IRL about Celtic Frost. One of them said, "Eh, they sound too much like Megadeth." So...yeah.

uhhh...

[Bored IV]

I've only talked to two people IRL about Celtic Frost. One of them said, "Eh, they sound too much like Megadeth." So...yeah.

uhhh...

"All that devil music sounds alike. It just makes me want to kill myself."

Etc., etc.

I will never understand other people's ears.

[soiled depends]

well, on the patio two nights ago, To Mega Therion made me want to hunt down Christians...we played it loud...

[rape bear]

"All that devil music sounds alike. It just makes me want to kill myself."

You should walk around with speakers blasting "devil music" all the time.

See if they can walk the walk

[Wang Mandu]

"This Punch You in Yo Dick video is hilarious!"

So you leave half-retarded English as a second language people in front of your computer and force them to watch things that make you angry? somebody needs to relax and stop taking everything so seriously.

Yes, people learning a second language = half retarded. How's your second language? I hope you pull through with the 30 days of not drinking so you can finally tap into all of that potential you supposedly have and can accomplish something besides being a disgusting failure.

The closest I get to being serious about that hip hoppin' crusty dude is that I think he's as bad as Limp Bizkit or ICP or Brokencyde. In short, he's a fucking joke.

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

clearly you misunderstood me...I was taking a jab at your very Engrish-sounding fudging of the song title...anyway, yeah. You still need to relax, kiddo.

[Wang Mandu]

I'm stressed the fuck out right now. Please accept my apology for misunderstanding.

[MANTIS]

[MANTIS]

Worked as a traffic director at the Memphis/Ole Miss game on Saturday for some extra cash. Whole lotta fun. 13 hour shift with no breaks. Water was provided but all I ate was a granola bar and a bag of Funyuns. Couldn't sit down until 10 hours in. Direct sunlight the entire time. Have to say, I have new respect for traffic cops.

About halfway through the day I had to piss, walked over to a port a potty on the U of M side and asked the surrounding rednecks if it was open. The tailgating xasthur fans quickly informed me that this was their privately rented port a potty and I could piss in it for 10 bucks (the price for parking.)
"Seriously?"
"If ya'll are gonna charge me, I'm gonna charge you!"
"I actually don't work for the company that's doing paid parking."
"10 bucks."
"Wow... you're an asshole."

The Ole Miss port a potties were a quarter mile away. They offered me a shot of jagermeister.

In short, I'm glad Memphis got their asses stomped. This did not help my perception of the average football fan.

[Dr Yail Bloor]

Worked as a traffic director at the Memphis/Ole Miss game on Saturday for some extra cash. Whole lotta fun. 13 hour shift with no breaks. Water was provided but all I ate was a granola bar and a bag of Funyuns. Couldn't sit down until 10 hours in. Direct sunlight the entire time. Have to say, I have new respect for traffic cops.

About halfway through the day I had to piss, walked over to a port a potty on the U of M side and asked the surrounding rednecks if it was open. The tailgating xasthur fans quickly informed me that this was their privately rented port a potty and I could piss in it for 10 bucks (the price for parking.)
"Seriously?"
"If ya'll are gonna charge me, I'm gonna charge you!"
"I actually don't work for the company that's doing paid parking."
"10 bucks."
"Wow... you're an asshole."

The Ole Miss port a potties were a quarter mile away. They offered me a shot of jagermeister.

In short, I'm glad Memphis got their asses stomped. This did not help my perception of the average football fan.

Ha i watched this on sattelite TV in the UK whilst talking to my friends in memphis who live opposite the stadium!

[MANTIS]

Do you know what side they live on? Southern, Hollywood, or Central? Just curious.

[Dr Yail Bloor]

Do you know what side they live on? Southern, Hollywood, or Central? Just curious.

Near the trainlines if that helps?

[MANTIS]

Southern. That's the entrance I was posted at actually. Your friends must be pretty gangsta. That's not exactly the right side of the tracks haha

[Dr Yail Bloor]

Well he works at the gibson factory so probably just living 'modestly'

[MANTIS]

Ah. That's a great job from what I hear. Nowhere in midtown is exactly safe anyway. I only live a few blocks away

[Dr Yail Bloor]

Ah. That's a great job from what I hear. Nowhere in midtown is exactly safe anyway. I only live a few blocks away

Guys actually english but is married to a local, he plays in local bands, his latest is black blood division, if you've heard them?

[MANTIS]

Ha! I know who you're talking about. Drummer. He used to be in a band with my pal Eden. We hung out a few times and argued about black metal. But yeah, I know the Black Blood Guys. Well, mostly the vocalist.

:small world:

[Dr Yail Bloor]

Ha! I know who you're talking about. Drummer. He used to be in a band with my pal Eden. We hung out a few times and argued about black metal. But yeah, I know the Black Blood Guys. Well, mostly the vocalist.

Yeah Jamie, he's a good guy! Ah the joys of skype ha ha

[Honky Kong 64]

"This is like, the prettiest song I've ever heard. It's as good as Beethoven or Mozart"

-male coworker on Coldplay's 'The Scientist'

[father of lies]

Second hand stupid shit at work. Somebody I know does some payroll and general administrative stuff on third shift at the main UPS building here. She's training a fatty that only talks about every little detail about her kids right now, and apparently she had to show said fatty how to drag a file into a folder. Incredible. To cut to the chase:

Heather: Omg you know what that chick said at work last night?!
Father of Lies23: was it
Father of Lies23: HURRR DERRR HURR HURR
Heather: I told her that if an employee is 2 minutes or less away from their 8 hours for the day that you have to round it up to 8 hours (union contract)
Heather: So she says"you mean I have to do math while I sit here? That's bogus"

Incredible.