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Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2012 7:11 am
by Gay for Cock
"Do you have one of them sophisticated phones?"

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 8:46 am
by Dr Yail Bloor
Her : Her husband is from the same town as her
Me : Oh? Where's that?
Her : Bangladesh

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 4:24 pm
by hipster holocaust
Hey could you film the most important day of our lives and the most priceless film in our future video collection for free?

Tell me they were surprised or even insulted after you declined. Fucking douchebags.

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 4:26 pm
by james
hahahahah fucking bob

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 4:28 pm
by Zap Rowsdower
Remind them how that "internship" is likely "illegal."

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 5:30 pm
by Cascade Whore
Pisscubes wrote:
Rosary_Butt_Beads wrote:Hahaha Bob is a fucking scumbag.
I swear, so many of these doctors have absolutely no respect for anyone that didn't go to medical school. If you're job involves anything that doesn't involve medical train, some of these dudes have NO idea why you would ever get paid.

While I've done some freelance stuff for some awesome doctors who paid well (80th birthday parties and shit), I've also been asked more than once to do things like film a fucking wedding for free. :fp:

You should email them back that you would be more than happy to slave away for free for an entire year and send clips of the most offensive parts of the unfinished Seth Putnam documentary as a reference.

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 6:41 pm
by LolaFaun
When will we lesser mortals understand?...chortle chortle...

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 6:44 pm
by hipster holocaust
Pisscubes wrote:As I have done at least a few times now because this is something of a pattern I said something to the effect of [guy was an anesthesiologist], "Hey-- my old man needs knee surgery again. You going to put him under for free? Bring your own anesthesia too?"

Confused look until I explain that, yes, it's JUST like asking you to do something that you get paid for, but for free.

Because they just don't get it.
:lol:

*Well obviously, Doctor, you wouldn't be able to afford it. What a clown.

**edit

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 7:06 pm
by riley-o
If you asked me to come beat the shit out of them for free I'd bring my own hand wraps

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 8:15 pm
by Raw Ting
well...was she fucking the dog????

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 8:30 pm
by Wang Mandu
I hope the doctors' wives are sleeping around.

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 9:14 pm
by riley-o
Pisscubes wrote:
Wang Mandu wrote:I hope the doctors' wives are sleeping around.
They do.
Image

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 10:02 pm
by postaddiction
Smegma wrote:the following is a transcript from a report written by a cop. punctuation left intact.


Abigail’s mother, Courtney, told me that Abigail is always lying. Courtney said that Abigail has accused people of raping her in the past. It was later determined, Abigail was lying. Courtney said Abigail will have sex with anybody, that will have sex with her. Courtney said that Abigail will shove anything inside her, that she can. Courtney said that Abigail has also had sex with the family dog. Courtney said she took the dog to the vet, a short time ago, because there was a problem with the dogs balls balls balls. The veterinarian asked Courtney, if she had been jacking the dog off. Courtney told the veterinarian no. It was then determined, Abigail had been having sex, with the dog.
I smell a Maury episode

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2013 6:36 am
by hipster holocaust
F. Murray Sandyclam wrote:These are the kinds of people who need TWO psychiatrists on the payroll just to keep the angst at a manageable level.

The next time one of these golden douches asks you to do something for free...maybe go ahead and do it but insert random frames of car crashes, abortions and gay rape into the film...going by so quickly they never even notice...

"I feel incredibly nauseous when I watch our wedding video...but I just don't know why! Maybe it's time to get that third psychiatrist..."

And...divorce. Revenge of Evilcubes.
Hope they remembered to pre-nup it up :awesome:

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 1:20 pm
by \m/Johnny\m/
This fat dumb slut purchasing agent for one of our customers emails me, as well as her other vendors, the same spreadsheet every monday showing which parts are due that week (which is really fucking stupid in the first place because it tells me exactly which parts I could undercut and poach from her other vendors, and allows them to do the same). Every week the same title "DUE THIS WEEK". Every week I take the spreadsheet, delete all the unrelated shit, mark it up with projected ship dates, amend the file name to include the week and our company name (because she's too fucking lazy to send separate spreadsheets to her vendors), and email it back to her. Today I forgot to rename it after I marked it up when I sent it back to her. I got a hysterical phone call from her 20 minutes later saying

OH MY GOD MY ENTIRE SPREADSHEET HAS BEEN DELETED! ALL I HAVE IS THE ONE YOU SENT ME THIS MORNING! WHAT DID YOU DOOOO!?!?

:fp: :fp: :fp:

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 1:53 pm
by featherboa
haha. does she at least BCC the email? do you reply all?
you could go in with the other companies on some price fixin' (just for her)

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 2:00 pm
by antinatalism
"If I didn't have an X-Box, I would just sleep all day."

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Posted: Sat Mar 09, 2013 7:58 pm
by Cascade Whore
Some guy bitching that it took about 40 minutes to help him on the phone when about 20 minutes of that was him giving me incorrect billing addresses.

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Posted: Sat Mar 09, 2013 11:38 pm
by Necrophilic Mallard
20 minutes is also completely unacceptable, you incompetent fuck

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Posted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 12:55 am
by Cascade Whore
Necrophilic Mallard wrote:20 minutes is also completely unacceptable, you incompetent fuck
Hmmm, let's see, asshole A(person I was talking to) asks about 15-20 different questions: that's about 1-2 minutes to properly look up and disseminate answers back to the person, I think that's pretty darn efficient without cutting corners.....Asshole B (necrophallic fucktard) makes his worthless uninformed opinion as usual ....You're a fucking idiot.

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Posted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 5:01 pm
by The Foreman
Pisscubes wrote:
hipster holocaust wrote:Hey could you film the most important day of our lives and the most priceless film in our future video collection for free?

Tell me they were surprised or even insulted after you declined. Fucking douchebags.
I laughed at first-- that uncomfortable, "Obviously you're joking" laughter.

Dude laughed just as nervously and then persisted.

As I have done at least a few times now because this is something of a pattern I said something to the effect of [guy was an anesthesiologist], "Hey-- my old man needs knee surgery again. You going to put him under for free? Bring your own anesthesia too?"

Confused look until I explain that, yes, it's JUST like asking you to do something that you get paid for, but for free.

Because they just don't get it.
Over the weekend I witnessed a young man try to convince a bouncer that he wasn't drunk because he just graduated from medical school.

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Posted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 5:09 pm
by Zap Rowsdower
Not me but a coworker got something similar last week: "Yeah, so someone filled out a credit card with my information a few years ago. Now I have debt collectors calling me about this. Can you write them and just say you're my lawyer and get them to go away?"

(btw If he did this he would either have to see the matter through for free or break ethical rules)

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Posted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 5:21 pm
by featherboa
Subject: ftp no bueno

Hi T,

I can't get into my work computer via this link. I only see a list of directories and files? help please.

thanks!
-a

a few minutes later (this was all at like midnight on a Sunday...)
Subject: VPN no bueno too

FYI - when I go to http://www.website.net I am re-directed to website login.


-----Original Message-----
From: T [mailto:t@website.com]
Sent: Monday, August 27, 2012 1:43 PM
To: A
Subject: Fwd: FTP and VPN info

vpn info

address: http://www.website.net
user: a
domain: b
Password: same as your work computer

detailed instructions
http://www.windows7hacker.com/index.php ... vpn-connec
tion-in-windows-7/

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Posted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 5:47 pm
by Geeheeb
hahahaha

Re: Dumb things I've heard at work: The Thread

Posted: Wed Mar 13, 2013 9:23 am
by hipster holocaust
Plush by Stone Temple Pilots just came on the radio and someone is singing along to it and playing air drums.