Have you ever rode on the atheist bus?

[cold radiance]

I believe in a magic purple bunny that phases in and out of existence beneath my rape shed. Prove it doesn't exist.

[Vagectomy]

I believe in a magic purple bunny that phases in and out of existence beneath my rape shed. Prove it doesn't exist.

Now were getting somewhere!

[Vagectomy]

[soiled depends]

I believe in a magic purple bunny that phases in and out of existence beneath my rape shed. Prove it doesn't exist.

Now were getting somewhere!

Can't wait to hear all your original thoughts on the subject...

[Kurt Russell's Beard]

Atheism isn't cool!

The fact that Americans are more likely to elect a chimpanzee for president, over an atheist, makes me feel like I'm in a movie. About stupid people.

[Kurt Russell's Beard]

Will I not mention the fact that I'm an atheist to the next prospective gal I date? Fuck yeah. Or else my weiner will never get touched.

[Vagectomy]

Tell em you love jesus and there all over you!

[Mari_Mar]

Will I not mention the fact that I'm an atheist to the next prospective gal I date? Fuck yeah. Or else my weiner will never get touched.

Funny that we were talking about this very thing just last week!

[Kurt Russell's Beard]

Tell em you love jesus and there all over you!

I did that a couple years ago but it didn't work. I even let her take me to church, and spun this rewarding narrative where I had fallen away from the church but was a little interested again, and that going with her was helping. All for nothing. Maybe she could tell I was a giant liar. Maybe Jesus-powers allowed her to peer into my heart.

Next time I'm just not going to say anything about religion. Only after we rut like disgusting animals will I put some books back on my shelf, and even if she asks about them, "Matt, what's this book about Atheism doing here?" I'll just shrug my shoulders and say I haven't read it. Just keep them guessing.

People are disgusted with "militant" atheists. For some reason that word isn't ever appended to the majority of religious nuts in this country. But even agnostics want to beat up atheists. I don't tell anyone how to live. I quietly keep to myself about this stuff. But by virtue of existing I pose an assault to those with faith. It's a strange position to be in, considering I don't have an agenda, but to live my life in the most honest manner possible.

[Vagectomy]

Tell em you love jesus and there all over you!

I did that a couple years ago but it didn't work. I even let her take me to church, and spun this rewarding narrative where I had fallen away from the church but was a little interested again, and that going with her was helping. All for nothing. Maybe she could tell I was a giant liar. Maybe Jesus-powers allowed her to peer into my heart.

Next time I'm just not going to say anything about religion. Only after we rut like disgusting animals will I put some books back on my shelf, and even if she asks about them, "Matt, what's this book about Atheism doing here?" I'll just shrug my shoulders and say I haven't read it. Just keep them guessing.

People are disgusted with "militant" atheists. For some reason that word isn't ever appended to the majority of religious nuts in this country. But even agnostics want to beat up atheists. I don't tell anyone how to live. I quietly keep to myself about this stuff. But by virtue of existing I pose an assault to those with faith. It's a strange position to be in, considering I don't have an agenda, but to live my life in the most honest manner possible.

What? Christian chicks are the best in bed! Keep trying!

[Kurt Russell's Beard]

I'll admit that I find myself wanting to trick religious people. It's just that with such easy handholds on a person, the temptation to abuse manipulation is there. I would love to go to church and start speaking in tongues. Would they gather around me? What if I kept doing it and didn't stop, they'd likely be annoyed but who would dare "challenge" the mouthpiece of god? I'd love to trick a pastor. But mostly I'd love to find a way to trick religious girls into sleeping with me.

[Mari_Mar]

I did that a couple years ago but it didn't work. I even let her take me to church, and spun this rewarding narrative where I had fallen away from the church but was a little interested again, and that going with her was helping. All for nothing. Maybe she could tell I was a giant liar. Maybe Jesus-powers allowed her to peer into my heart.

Oh Christ! I remember that! HAHAHAHAHA!

[Kurt Russell's Beard]

I did that a couple years ago but it didn't work. I even let her take me to church, and spun this rewarding narrative where I had fallen away from the church but was a little interested again, and that going with her was helping. All for nothing. Maybe she could tell I was a giant liar. Maybe Jesus-powers allowed her to peer into my heart.

Oh Christ! I remember that! HAHAHAHAHA!

She was so pretty. She promised herself to God, though. No amount of tricking worked.

I went to a church in Santa Cruz that was super hip and fancied itself cool. This was for my ex's anthropology project, we had to go and write observations, etc. It was amazing. Everyone was incredibly hot. And happy. They were so happy and hot, happy that they were hot, likely, but also happy that they had a place to separate themselves from people like me. All at once I felt envious of them, these stupid, hot people. It really ruined my night. But it made me think about religious leaders, how if you didn't even believe in the shit you spouted, there was no downside to tricking everyone. There was a rock/pop band and I thought, well, if the singer looked more like Jesus, but a cooler version of Jesus, Jesus with short spikey hair, like you'd see Jesus on The Hills, that dude would trick all the hot, stupid chicks and do them all. I wouldn't need a magic wristwatch that stopped time.

[Kurt Russell's Beard]

There are the tricks I played on the guys when I was in the Marines. That guy clutching the bible pissed himself. There was a trail of piss all the way down the catwalk and into the parking lot. Even the officer-on-duty saw it. I do think about that a lot.

[ThePhillyExperiment]

No, but I'm pretty sure I've ridden on the Bang Bus.

[Mari_Mar]

She was so pretty. She promised herself to God, though. No amount of tricking worked.

She was pretty. Though I remember feeling creeped out around her. I was afraid I was going to slip and say something that might ruin your chances with her. Fuck. All the effort you put into that only for it not to pay off... Frustrating.

[Mari_Mar]

There are the tricks I played on the guys when I was in the Marines. That guy clutching the bible pissed himself. There was a trail of piss all the way down the catwalk and into the parking lot. Even the officer-on-duty saw it. I do think about that a lot.

I remember you telling a story where a very hulking and low intelligenced Marine was scared to the point that he nearly assaulted you. I can only imagine the unstoppable, torch-bearing, fanatical, lynch mob you would attract if your tricked a Pastor. Please don't try? Pleeeeease!?

[cold radiance]

She was so pretty. She promised herself to God, though.

Utterly frustrating.

[zzzzzzzz]

Tell em you love jesus and there all over you!

I did that a couple years ago but it didn't work. I even let her take me to church, and spun this rewarding narrative where I had fallen away from the church but was a little interested again, and that going with her was helping. All for nothing. Maybe she could tell I was a giant liar. Maybe Jesus-powers allowed her to peer into my heart.

Next time I'm just not going to say anything about religion. Only after we rut like disgusting animals will I put some books back on my shelf, and even if she asks about them, "Matt, what's this book about Atheism doing here?" I'll just shrug my shoulders and say I haven't read it. Just keep them guessing.

People are disgusted with "militant" atheists. For some reason that word isn't ever appended to the majority of religious nuts in this country. But even agnostics want to beat up atheists. I don't tell anyone how to live. I quietly keep to myself about this stuff. But by virtue of existing I pose an assault to those with faith. It's a strange position to be in, considering I don't have an agenda, but to live my life in the most honest manner possible.

[neckbeard]

I just want to live my life in the most honest manner possible... and trick christian chicks into banging around

[chrusti(ns)anity]

There are many different flavors of atheism. Some atheists even claim agnostics as atheists. I'm tired of it being a dirty word.

[caldwell.the.great]

this argument sucks. MARS IS FUCKING WAITING FOR US.

[Kurt Russell's Beard]

I just want to live my life in the most honest manner possible... and trick christian chicks into banging around

Yes!

The honesty part referring to my self-honesty, not honesty in general (since I love tricking people). I am honest about my attempts to trick christian ladies into banging.

[Kurt Russell's Beard]

She was so pretty. She promised herself to God, though. No amount of tricking worked.

She was pretty. Though I remember feeling creeped out around her. I was afraid I was going to slip and say something that might ruin your chances with her. Fuck. All the effort you put into that only for it not to pay off... Frustrating.

I think you're thinking of K. Or maybe that stupid chick from Texas. No, I was talking about this other broad in my class a few years ago. Goddamn, they're all christians, aren't they?

[Necrometer]

banging christians as an open atheist is like hard mode

i play on hard mode