Post reasons to kick me out of a van

[Degree Absolute]

Hahahaha WTF are you sure that isn't gangrene?

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

i can't help i have midget hands any more than you can help your flaws...that picture is well ove a year old though, i maye have been slightly fatter...

midget hands are forever, though...

2 mins ago, thinking about how i could never hope to be able to reach all the way around riley's monster schlong

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

Hahahaha WTF are you sure that isn't gangrene?

i got titty fucked by a 115lb crusty

[Friendly Goatus]

I think he abused your weird boobs because he didn't respect you, which was exactly why he was fucking you.

You'd better get used to that sort of thing. When you get older you won't be able to date young, effeminate guys who can't open a jar of vegenaise anymore.

[riley-o]

effeminate guys who can't open a jar of vegenaise anymore.

no wonder her tits are all bruised up if they couldn't get the lid off the closest thing to lube available...

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

goatus i'm pretty sure he could open jars just fine, i mean that's how he stored his weed before we smoked out pre-grief listening sessions. pfffft.

i didn't respect him either, so it was all good. i mean i do as a person, but he is sort of a weird friend ever since we hooked up. i think he might be the one that gave me scabies, since he has been mysteriously absent after the most recent time we hooked up (it was the first time in almost a year that we bumped uggers again) -- suspiciously RIGHT BEFORE THE ITCH. lol

i'm growing up! no more crusties, ok, ok...

[Hotchka!]

wow

[Friendly Goatus]

Of course he "got weird" after the deed. That's all he wanted from you.

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

well, there are other reasons involving the incest of this town, but that's nobody's business really...a couple years ago we hooked up quite regularly, then...well, let's say dating resumed with ex/new people type stuff....then we hooked up again...

anyway, you can't even FIT in the van in the first place, gatus. why are you here?!

[Friendly Goatus]

What you're alluding to is how you've managed to fuck a friend of a friend of everyone in portland.

The three degrees of Amelia, if you will.

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

well i never...

[Hotchka!]

do you still have scabies?

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

fuck no, jesus. they make cream and give it away for free, why would i...my roommates would have kicked me out long ago if that were the case! hahahaha....

[zzzzzzzz]

are you completely in love with being a piece of fucking garbage?

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

i'm pretty tired, which means i'll answer any question you ask up until i pass out. i'm probably blacked out right now and don;t even realize it.

oh, to answer -- no...?

[Hotchka!]

take a picture of your vagina and post it on here, get your head and tats in there so i know its you

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

even when i'm in a haze i know what is and isn't wrong. i only do gross things like expose myself for the sake of humor or illustration when I feel like doing it...sorry...

[Wang Mandu]

are you completely in love with being a piece of fucking garbage?

lol noob

[riley-o]

amelia, do you understand that he was "acting weird" after because he didn't have to pretend to not hate you once he had gotten off ?

[Ogre of Disgust]

.02% Yuckjugs Fuck Friction
Stinky Sweater
Urine cannot hide bruises on yuckjugs
Weed Theft Prevention
BandVan Getting on I-5 South, a.k.a. "sorry, we're not going that way"
Ass, Gas or Grass: Nobody Mooch Fo' Free
Amelia666 "We'll Leave The Light Off For Ya"

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

amelia, do you understand that he was "acting weird" after because he didn't have to pretend to not hate you once he had gotten off ?

dude, we did it like 20 times before he ever acted 'weird' -- and he was 'weird' right around the time HE would have realized he had scabies, before i showed symptoms...i never got a chance to ask him about it, not on my priority list as far as phone calls go now that it's long ago cleared up. my guess is that this SUDDEN POST 20 DICKINGS weirdness had to do with some sort of guilt on his part...maybe? or maybe i've got it all wrong and dudes could never, ever enjoy my company ESPECIALLY after enduring my torturous toothed vagina corpselike intercourse. yeesh.

[Friendly Goatus]

Yet if he drunkenly stumbles along your path again you'd probably jump right back in for some more tit bruisin', scabies contractin', eye gougin' fun. I mean let's face it... you don't really have much control over your self. You think with your HUMONGOUS vagina.

[Friendly Goatus]

lock it

[Friendly Goatus]

That's ok... we don't count that against you.

SPOILERSPOILER_SHOW

MUCH

[Pyrite Medal of Ignorance]

nah, the last few times we did it i didn't get off. i'd already decided pre-itch that i was done. i don't like doing the same people over and over, especially if i'm not dating them or can't O most times. i've seen him at shows since then and we just say hi for a minute or two then avoid each other. we'll always be pleasant acquaintances, even friends sometimes, and maybe if i were super wasted and vulnerable or whatnot i might go for his energy just because it's FUN....you know what fun is, right? people are allowed to have it on your watch, right? is that cool, massa?