I need an excuse to get out of a court appearance next week.

[soiled depends]

I'm on the docket on the 18th at 10 am. I'd rather be enjoying a day off of work by not being awake at that time. I need a story to tell my lawyer so he can have the matter put over a month. I don't have to be there, but I don't really have a good reason not to be...

[Bored, Esq.]

Scabies

[Dr.Fondles]

bloody stool

[soiled depends]

Thanks. My lawyer is expecting an email from me within the next twelve hours. Scabies and bloody stools are things that would occur just before an appearance. I need something to tell him by tomorrow morning, not at the last minute...

[F/K/A HAPF]

You are paying him to act on your behalf. You'll only hurt your case by showing up.

[soiled depends]

I'm listening...

[Introvert]

Tell them you moved to Portland (but really do it).

[soiled depends]

I know of lawyers who show up to work still shitfaced from the night before...maybe it's fine for defendants to do the same...

[Dugan Nash]

You have a retarded child who needs your constant attention. This was an actual excuse that got someone out of the trial that i was a jury dude on.

[Dr.Fondles]

You are a retarded child who needs constant attention.

[F/K/A HAPF]

Do you look professional enough while shitfaced?

SPOILERSPOILER_SHOW

[zombiehead]

this is a thread made just for simmfoc

[Turd Murder]

Tell him you're going to the dentist to get your teef fixed.

[43°29′28″N 83°23′49″W]

Tell him you're too busy changing the world one post at a time on the Reeelapse board.

[ThE GodDamN BattletweeteR]

write the judge a letter and explain to him how you do not care for the ways of the white man, and that their laws do not apply to you.

bonus points if you write it in your ancestors peoples written language.

[White Like Jesus]

You're supposed to work the soup kitchen, and you don't want to let the homeless people down.

[soiled depends]

You're supposed to work the soup kitchen, and you don't want to let the homeless people down.

My attorney informs me that the Crown in this matter pulls shifts at the soup kitchen. I know...what the fuck, right? Anyways, that one is a no go...

[Stormy]

tell them you were arrested in the past but forgot to bring your papers/fingerprints. they'll just tell you to leave.

[Cribdeath]

Tell him you're bidding on a rare Forest of Old/Puketeria split LP on eBay. the auction ends at 10:00 am on the 18th and you have to be at the computer up until the final seconds to fend off the "snipers". I'm sure everyone in question will understand.

[Dr Yail Bloor]

why are you in court?

[Lord Beguile]

why are you in court?

[soiled depends]

Liquor Control Act violations. I hold illegal underground music concerts without possessing the proper permits to do so.

[Mr. Budd]

Tell them you are hosting an illegal concert that night. Wait.

[chris narcosis]

TELL THEM YOU ARE IN CONSTANT AGONY BECAUSE YOUR TEETH ARE FUCKED THEN OPEN YOU MOUTH AND HEY PRESTO ITS A DAY AT HOME!!!!!!!!!

[soiled depends]

My attorney and I have shared several tumblers of fine single malts together. He knows that my teeth are fine. Chris, check out my facebook pics, you'll see for yourself...