post your childhood naiveties about sex

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Mari_Mar
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Re: post your childhood naiveties about sex

Post by Mari_Mar »

Eight Bit Failien wrote:I'm really trying to contribute here, and I cannot. When I was 4 and in the tub with my sister (2), I visually compared our genitals and noticed the resemblance between her clit and my cockhead. I decided that she must have basically the same parts as me, but they were kept stuffed inside her. Later I found out my intuition was completely correct.
That's a pretty good contribution if you ask me.
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Re: post your childhood naiveties about sex

Post by guardianoftheblind »

i think when i was a lil shaver i thought that semen and urine were the same thing.

that's all i can remember right now
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Re: post your childhood naiveties about sex

Post by Pop1287 »

The first time I had an orgasm I passed out. That's...kind of the way I am.
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Re: post your childhood naiveties about sex

Post by stiffytheclown »

Eight Foot Manchild wrote: I also remember a period where the favorite insult among my peers was to tell each other to "go suck your mama's dick", then someone else would say "yeah, if your mama has a dick". You know, like it would be insulting if she didn't. I guess. It made sense at the time. Sort of.

:awesome: :awesome: :awesome:

I am going to slip this into normal conversation. Thank you so much for the LOLS!!! Lately I believe the funniest thing is 69ing. I told my friend at his wedding this past Saturdasy to not waste his entire wedding night 69ing his wife.

Anyway. I didn't know how to jerk off. I figured the international sign for it was like a slang hand signal. then one day it clicked! When I came I looked at it in my hand and solemnly said "I have produced semen...." no shit, how Spockishly queer!

Also some kids from the neighborhood told me thiswhite trashy chick named Crystal who lived with her extended family went in her cousins room one night & put his penis (everyone in this story was around 10 +/-) in her mouth and she did stuff until he pee'd in her mouth a bit. 10 years later I was working in a gas station smoking a cigarette I recalled the tale & loudly exclaimed "THAT WASN'T PEE!!!!!"

I also thought you only had sex with your wife. What a crock of Catholic coloring book shit that turned out to be.
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RHT
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Re: post your childhood naiveties about sex

Post by RHT »

I don't think I had any for very long. I remember after school one day I saw my older cousin bangin' some girl at the baseball diamond. It was :moreawesome: at the time.
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Re: post your childhood naiveties about sex

Post by The Schwartz »

I discovered masturbating by noticing that rubbing a deodorant stick on my wiener felt real good.
I did this for about 3 days nonstop, I also didn't realize the concept of cleaning up so I walked around all day with an inch caking of old spice in my undies and smelling like a caravan of grandpas

I learned my dick rubbing lessons early as it started to get excruciatingly painful to pee from subsequent caking
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Re: post your childhood naiveties about sex

Post by Hypnagogia »

det-riot wrote:I found my mom's maxi pads and read the instructions. It showed the person (woman) putting them in the crotch of her underwear. I thought they were to stop pee dribbles and skid marks. I started putting them in my underwear. Somewhere deeper inside me I thought it was wrong, but I wasn't sure why. I hid the used ones in my desk, but I slipped up and one made it into the laundry and my dad had to explain they were for the ladies.
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Re: post your childhood naiveties about sex

Post by gustavprom »

For some odd reasons until I was six or seven I used to think that girls had an extra hole between their vagina and anus for peeing... :drool: :oops:
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Re: post your childhood naiveties about sex

Post by Teebore »

nailedrightin wrote:
Toxicarius wrote:My first orgasm shocked the hell out of me... I thought I broke my dick. It was some time before I dared play with it again.... :oops:
Same with me. I remember just squeezing it and watching it seep out.


I'm in this boat as well.

Oh and also the "doggie style means in the butt" boat. Huh huh
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The Seventh Son
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Re: post your childhood naiveties about sex

Post by The Seventh Son »

Friendly Goatus wrote:I thought that the vaginal opening was higher up, like more near the line of demarcation between pubic hair and stomach. I'm glad I had access to porno when I got older or else I'd have ended up both horrified and embarrassed.
The first time my friend fingered a girl he completely forgot the hole was lower and kept diddling around at the top trying to find where his fingers should penetrate.
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Re: post your childhood naiveties about sex

Post by hana maru »

stiffytheclown wrote:I also thought you only had sex with your wife. What a crock of Catholic coloring book shit that turned out to be.
haha i was there for a while, too. but by the time high school came around, that idea went out the window (along with all the other catholic bullshit. like...no birth control? really? REALLY???).
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Re: post your childhood naiveties about sex

Post by Pop1287 »

hana maru wrote:
stiffytheclown wrote:I also thought you only had sex with your wife. What a crock of Catholic coloring book shit that turned out to be.
haha i was there for a while, too. but by the time high school came around, that idea went out the window (along with all the other catholic bullshit. like...no birth control? really? REALLY???).
You're still absolutely poisoned by all of that. It's in every post you make, every response.
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Re: post your childhood naiveties about sex

Post by Double Anal »

The Seventh Son wrote:
Friendly Goatus wrote:I thought that the vaginal opening was higher up, like more near the line of demarcation between pubic hair and stomach. I'm glad I had access to porno when I got older or else I'd have ended up both horrified and embarrassed.
The first time my friend fingered a girl he completely forgot the hole was lower and kept diddling around at the top trying to find where his fingers should penetrate.
yeah i did the same. i fingered a girl in 6th grade and was like an inch below her belly button under her jeans and there was no vagina. i felt around everywhere and finally just asked her "where is your vagina?"
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Black Jacques
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Re: post your childhood naiveties about sex

Post by Black Jacques »

I thought you wrapped a condom around your dong like it was hockey tape.
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Re: post your childhood naiveties about sex

Post by Chevalier Mal Fet »

Eight Bit Failien wrote:I'm really trying to contribute here, and I cannot.
Yeah, I know the feeling, my brother was born when I was five and my sister was seven, so my parents had already bathed us together when we were little so we knew our parts, and when my mom was pregnant, my mother bought us two cutesy but accurate books about conception, this is one, can't remember the title of the other....

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Add that to my dad's Playboy subscription which I started perusing at 6-8 years old, Skin-o-Max flicks, eventually finding my Dad's porn tapes (all two of them) and school-yard banter and I was basically fairly well informed from an early age. I think the first time I jerked it was in the shower on vacation in Mexico after a hot day at a topless beach, maybe I was 12.

I did learn embarrassingly enough from my mom via complaint from my sister, that my splooge in the shower was not actually seamlessly flowing down the drain as I thought it was.
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Re: post your childhood naiveties about sex

Post by DanBehavingBadly »

Chevalier Mal Fet wrote:
I did learn embarrassingly enough from my mom via complaint from my sister, that my splooge in the shower was not actually seamlessly flowing down the drain as I thought it was.
Haha...did she ask why you were bringing poached egg into the shower?
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Re: post your childhood naiveties about sex

Post by Black Jacques »

Ah! My buddy had that series.

All the characters looked like the Pillsbury Doughboy.
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Re: post your childhood naiveties about sex

Post by Zap Rowsdower »

I thought I would be good at it when I was older.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: post your childhood naiveties about sex

Post by copstache »

Black Jacques wrote:I thought you wrapped a condom around your dong like it was hockey tape.
ahahhahaa :moreawesome:
if there's anybody in the world who'd be fucking unobservant enough to actually damage themselves with trap-soap I guess it'd be the guy with dialup in 2007
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Re: post your childhood naiveties about sex

Post by Whiffleball Ace »

During the frenzy that ensued after I first figured out how to masturbate (which amounted to jerkin off about twenty times a day) I was caught by my oldest brother. He basically took out an ad in the local paper. He told everyone who would listen. One of his friends, the typical, psychotic neighborhood metal guy convinced me that I could get AIDS from masturbation. I ran to my room and cried. When my old man finally figured out why I was so depressed (two days later) he took me fishing and explained everything.
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Re: post your childhood naiveties about sex

Post by hipster holocaust »

i shot a blank my first time jerkin. then the baby batter eventually started flowing, unfortunately.
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Re: post your childhood naiveties about sex

Post by Wehttam »

Eight Bit Failien wrote:I'm really trying to contribute here, and I cannot.
this is me too. I grew up with two sisters, the parents bathed us together at a really early age. Also, had access to satellite porn when I was young before parents had the ability to lock out channels and also before "scrambling" channels came into effect. old satellite tv was awesome. there was all kinds of "educational" shit out there. It probably saved me. I grew up in a very strong christian community. kids experimented without knowing because the parents and school didn't want to educate and bang.....teenage pregnancies all around.
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Re: post your childhood naiveties about sex

Post by MANTIS »

Insert penis. Babies.

Thrusting? Fucking WUT?!!
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Re: post your childhood naiveties about sex

Post by Eight Bit Alien »

:yerma:
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