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Re: Celebrity Gossip Thread

Posted: Sun May 15, 2011 7:16 pm
by hipster holocaust
that sounds :awesome:

Re: Celebrity Gossip Thread

Posted: Sun May 15, 2011 9:21 pm
by Necrometer
Toilet Fleet wrote:I'm having dinner with Victor Garber on June 7th.

Don't worry, I had to look him up too: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victor_Garber
! I was filmed doing/talking science for a few minutes by this guy, who I totally had to google
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0936464/

aaaaaaaaaaaand there's a thread that needs bumping

Re: Celebrity Gossip Thread

Posted: Wed May 18, 2011 6:02 am
by Eight Foot Manchild
I shit bigger than Sully Erna.

Re: Celebrity Gossip Thread

Posted: Wed May 18, 2011 12:25 pm
by Savant-tarde
Would you mind elaborating in detail how much of a fag Sully Erna is?

Re: Celebrity Gossip Thread

Posted: Wed May 18, 2011 2:42 pm
by Eight Foot Manchild
Gee, where to start.

He brought a weight machine with him. I dropped off the parts in his dressing room and one of his numerous do-nothing cronies (all famous people have these - minions who don't actually do anything but bitch about how cold it is in the venue and other banalities) tried to order me to put it together. I told her she had to suck my dick first, in so many words, and went back to my real job.

He complained that the keys on the grand piano were too shallow. As in, when he pressed the keys down, the hammers hit sooner than he liked. "Can we fix that?" he asked. "No," came the answer. No, Sully Erna, I will not disassemble this grand piano and reconstruct it to your preference before sound check.

He had more people fucking about backstage after the show than any show I've seen in that size venue. Not even rappers, who need to invite every homie that was ever tangentially related to them, had as many people. And I shouldn't have to tell you what absolute fucking scum Sully Erna fans are. This one slobbering drunk bovine bitch kept standing precisely in the path of the gear that was being unloaded from the venue. After asking her to move for the tenth time, she called me a "loser". I could only laugh. And laugh.

The very last piece of "gear" that needed to be loaded out was the wardrobe case - and of course Sully Erna had to stand right in front of it while he schmoozed with his shit-for-brains admirers. He said "yeah, in a minute" when we asked him to move THREE FEET to his left so we could finish and go home. He stood there for fifteen minutes.

Really, this is no worse than the kind of fuckstickery you can expect from any famous person, but that just makes me all the madder. Sully Erna isn't even creative at being a piece of shit.

Re: Celebrity Gossip Thread

Posted: Wed May 18, 2011 2:49 pm
by Ogre of Disgust
Hell yeah, story is awesome. I applaud scorn you for not having someone record a quick video of you dumping a deli spread over some Sully-esque douche's head for sweet YouTubage/Tosh.0 action.
Is the little Tapout Shirt douche all of 5' 3"?

Re: Celebrity Gossip Thread

Posted: Wed May 18, 2011 3:03 pm
by Eight Foot Manchild
Ogre of Disgust wrote:Hell yeah, story is awesome. I applaud scorn you for not having someone record a quick video of you dumping a deli spread over some Sully-esque douche's head for sweet YouTubage/Tosh.0 action.
I wouldn't waste getting fired/Youtube famous over Sully Erna. Surely there are more worthy targets.
Ogre of Disgust wrote:Is the little Tapout Shirt douche all of 5' 3"?
The houselights were out and for about 20 minutes I thought he was the sound guy's kid.

Re: Celebrity Gossip Thread

Posted: Wed May 18, 2011 3:25 pm
by Eight Foot Manchild
Today is better. David Crosby let me play his no brand name Brazillian-made acoustic.

Re: Celebrity Gossip Thread

Posted: Wed May 18, 2011 10:35 pm
by How Are Mortiis Goatse?!
I didn't know who Sully Erna is, so googled him, and seeing his picture gave me literal douche chills. I actually shuddered and felt that unsettling tingling in my spine.

Re: Celebrity Gossip Thread

Posted: Thu May 19, 2011 8:06 am
by Wehttam
wow, had to google him too. yikes.

Re: Celebrity Gossip Thread

Posted: Thu May 19, 2011 11:36 am
by badgevvrecker
How Are Mortiis Goatse?! wrote:I didn't know who Sully Erna is, so googled him, and seeing his picture gave me literal douche chills. I actually shuddered and felt that unsettling tingling in my spine.
+1

Re: Celebrity Gossip Thread

Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2011 8:37 am
by Eight Foot Manchild
Engelbert Humperdinck's drummer has a double-bass pedal.

Re: Celebrity Gossip Thread

Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2011 8:47 am
by Eight Foot Manchild
James Van Praagh, one of these pop "psychics" that pretends to talk to dead people, is coming in October. I wonder if recording the show and commentating on it would fall under the fair use clause. I've always wanted to see this bullshit live, without the aid of TV editing.

Re: Celebrity Gossip Thread

Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2011 11:25 am
by The Torsion
What did Tennessee Ernie Ford's speaking voice sound like?

How tall is James Aurness?

Did Don Rickles ever tell you how dumb this thread is?

Re: Celebrity Gossip Thread

Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2011 9:19 pm
by Eight Foot Manchild
Don Rickles says you ain't in these trenches.

Re: Celebrity Gossip Thread

Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2011 9:28 pm
by Eight Foot Manchild
Engelbert Humperdinck brought a fat lady from the audience up onstage, sat her in a chair, rubbed his Vegas-grade pelted man tits all over her and gave her the privilege of mopping his greasy torso with red hankerchief. Then...

Engelbert Humperdinck to fat lady: "Aren't you a specimen. You and your friends know there are starving kids in Africa, right? I bet if I kicked you off this chair, you'd rock yourself to sleep trying to get back up".

Respect earned.

Re: Celebrity Gossip Thread

Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 1:29 pm
by postaddiction
Eight Foot Manchild wrote:Engelbert Humperdinck to fat lady: "Aren't you a specimen. You and your friends know there are starving kids in Africa, right? I bet if I kicked you off this chair, you'd rock yourself to sleep trying to get back up".
Image

Re: Celebrity Gossip Thread

Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 1:36 pm
by TF@work
Eight Foot Manchild wrote:I bet if I kicked you off this chair, you'd rock yourself to sleep trying to get back up".
Holy shit holy shitsholhotst;ajlkaenger

Re: Celebrity Gossip Thread

Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 1:56 pm
by postaddiction
I bet they had really smelly, abusive old person sex later that night, too

Re: Celebrity Gossip Thread

Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 4:58 pm
by Ogre of Disgust
[quote="Eight Foot Manchild"
Engelbert Humperdinck to fat lady: "Aren't you a specimen. You and your friends know there are starving kids in Africa, right? I bet if I kicked you off this chair, you'd rock yourself to sleep trying to get back up".
[/quote]

That's...that's too awesome to be true

Re: Celebrity Gossip Thread

Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2011 9:38 pm
by hipster holocaust
Ogre of Disgust wrote:[quote="Eight Foot Manchild"
Engelbert Humperdinck to fat lady: "Aren't you a specimen. You and your friends know there are starving kids in Africa, right? I bet if I kicked you off this chair, you'd rock yourself to sleep trying to get back up".
That's...that's too awesome to be true[/quote]

yeah this is a bit :?

not taking away from its awesomeness but...come on. this really happened?

Re: Celebrity Gossip Thread

Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 3:34 am
by Eight Foot Manchild
We report, you decide.™

Re: Celebrity Gossip Thread

Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 2:11 pm
by Frickin' Slayer
Eight Foot Manchild wrote:James Van Praagh, one of these pop "psychics" that pretends to talk to dead people, is coming in October. I wonder if recording the show and commentating on it would fall under the fair use clause. I've always wanted to see this bullshit live, without the aid of TV editing.
:moreawesome: u r like,soo lucky!

Re: Celebrity Gossip Thread

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 2:47 pm
by Eight Foot Manchild
Christopher Guest is five feet away, hitting on a nineteen year-old usher. Gonna try to record the conversation in Garageband.

Re: Celebrity Gossip Thread

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 2:55 pm
by fallbacktostone
Eight Foot Manchild wrote:Christopher Guest is five feet away, hitting on a nineteen year-old usher. Gonna try to record the conversation in Garageband.
:moreawesome: