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Pisscubes wrote:
I just went to the bathroom and had a THE FARTS for a full ten seconds. I mean just one long ten second blast.

>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbfnNy9dm2k<

My dinner was a couple handfuls of pistachios and a can of smoked oysters.

I predict tonight's THE FARTS will be a piquant blend of Auschwitz and an anchovies cunt.

(Memorials to my wife can be donated to Young-Williams Animal Shelter)

I'm half tempted to get a sixer of PBR and just make sure she stays dead.

Boxed wine hangover farts. I've already made myself gag once today.

did a loud FART that sounded like a duck quack/fat man clapping in front of two student girls in a local park, i simply said 'and you cant say fairer than that' and walked off.

PPOIDH

This has my entire office dying over here.

DanBehavingBadly wrote:

I've had a bit of the bubble guts today. As soon as I finished my lunch I had that emergency shit panic and ran to the bathroom. I sat down, thinking I was going to fill the bowl with soft-serve in under 2 seconds. It was just 90 seconds of the loudest, uninterrupted growling you can imagine, then nothing. Not a drop or a nugget. It was mildly disappointing... like when a bottle rocket doesn't blow up.

It just happened again. Guys, I'm scared.

this is one of the things about turning 50 that they DON'T tell you about in school

Really? The silent and lingering ones are like comedy landmines in our place.

It's been almost 2 1/2 years and I still feel weird about beefin in front of the missus. I think I slipped up once or twice, and even then trying covering up with a cough.

She's not even stuck-up at or anything, just never got that comfy I guess

Essential for close quarters such as office environments

After an afternoon of eating some spicy BBQ and a long night of drinking and capping it off with a 3am burrito, my 12 mile walk today was a bit noisy. Luckily no worries of shart invasion.

Over the last few days, my egg intake has been higher than normal which correlates to magnificent egg THE FARTS. I caught a stomach virus (THE PLAGUE) from my youngest who had vomited all over me multiple times. I was puking my guts out the other night when I felt this horrid pressure in my ass region. My thought process as I was retching the remainder of the undigested food and bile from my stomach was I wish I recorded this for the board and this might be a blast of shredded shit but I'll chance it. The stakes were high but I managed to let out a loud THE FART. As I was recovering from my cramping stomach, I caught this waft of rotten eggs. It caused me to puke even harder than before. I really wish I caught all this on my phone since I am a super loud puker.

electronichamz wrote:Over the last few days, my egg intake has been higher than normal which correlates to magnificent egg THE FARTS. I caught a stomach virus (THE PLAGUE) from my youngest who had vomited all over me multiple times. I was puking my guts out the other night when I felt this horrid pressure in my ass region. My thought process as I was retching the remainder of the undigested food and bile from my stomach was I wish I recorded this for the board and this might be a blast of shredded shit but I'll chance it. The stakes were high but I managed to let out a loud THE FART. As I was recovering from my cramping stomach, I caught this waft of rotten eggs. It caused me to puke even harder than before. I really wish I caught all this on my phone since I am a super loud puker.

Keep in mind that you can admit that you The Shitted your The Pants.

I actually didn't though. I've shit myself a lot and have had no issues admitting to this.

My THE FARTS are really fucking bad right now. I am actually forcing them out with zero care if I shit myself and so far its been POWER AIR

i have been recording my farts onto my phone for nearly a year. i am about to put them all onto my digital recorder and see how long the sum total fartage is.

Attn. Costco shoppers: Beware their Garlic Parmesan Bread. It's tasty as hell, but don't be fooled... something evil lurks therein. For the second night in a row my THE FARTS are of a particularly wicked vintage. The aroma contains hints of garlic and undeath, and is so foul I have to walk away from myself. If I dropped one of these THE FARTS in a crowded room I'd cause a panicked stampede and trampled death. So enjoy the bread if you will, but be mindful of the timing so that no innocents come to harm. Ser biz.

BUNGVOX wrote:i have been recording my farts onto my phone for nearly a year. i am about to put them all onto my digital recorder and see how long the sum total fartage is.

I wish I still had those 2 farts I recorded when I was in 8th grade with Windows sound recorder, they were loud as hell and pitch perfect. I was a nice kid

this weekend. i'm going to finally put this 'shit' together.

so the fart recording sesh is underway....it is shaping up to be the anal cunt 5000 song 7inch of shit wind.

i shall be sharing before the weekend is through

Pisscubes wrote:hahah-- I just keep imaging you taking out your phone like a business executive about to make a verbal note like, "Note: tell Kathy to cancel my 11 o'clock and push our end of quarter meeting up a week" but instead, you put it by your ass and rip.

plenty of office specials on this bad boy

I thought it was just a fruit juice with acai berries, but I didn't see it was a fiber Drink. The farts are two days long now.