Re: I have THE FARTS
Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 9:25 pm
So I went hiking for several miles on the wilds of NJ today, and for the last 3/4 of the hike I felt like I has an urgent case of THE SHITS coming on. I have a roll of shit tickets in my backpack for such emergencies, but every time I seriously sought some decent off-trail cover, the shit cramps subsided to nothing. Then a few hundred yards they would return... again and again. Somewhat uncomfortable, but not enough to ruin the day.
Returning home, I headed for the can to expel whatever it was that was bedeviling me.
Nothing.
At first.
A few moments of pushing finally released a "cork" of compacted poo, followed by a voluminous release of choking THE FARTS more suitable for a dead elephant than a human. This THE FARTS was pressure cooking for several hours of rocky hill trail time under a warm October sun, and by the time that genie was released from the bottle they were hands down the most vile THE FARTS this mere mortal has ever produced. This house still smells like a lingering sewer explosion. I have never been more ashamed/proud in my life...
Returning home, I headed for the can to expel whatever it was that was bedeviling me.
Nothing.
At first.
A few moments of pushing finally released a "cork" of compacted poo, followed by a voluminous release of choking THE FARTS more suitable for a dead elephant than a human. This THE FARTS was pressure cooking for several hours of rocky hill trail time under a warm October sun, and by the time that genie was released from the bottle they were hands down the most vile THE FARTS this mere mortal has ever produced. This house still smells like a lingering sewer explosion. I have never been more ashamed/proud in my life...