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Let em fly, bro.... Let em fly.

My dog has THE FARTS right now, he has had them for like 3 days. I think he's been eating another dog's food...

I just got back from the grocery store where my THE FARTS brought at least a dozen mexicans to their knees. I walked through the aisles spewing forth hot jets of pure punishment, leaving beaners in my path, rolling on the floor, clutching their throats screaming EL VIENTO DEL DIABLO!

Pure shit is the best smell.

Dr Yail Bloor wrote:Pure shit is the best smell.

Is there anything better than walking into work, and your first duty is to take a giant SHIT? My goal is to absolutely ruin the day of the first person to walk in after I'm done.

I'm goind to repeat a joke this old homeless guy told to a group of people I was in... He walks up and says,
John, I was in the hospital again the other day and I said, "Doc. I got a problem; I have to go to the bathroom every morning at 6am." The doctor says to me, "Dave that's good news for once. It means you're regular" And then I said to him... "Yeah but I don't get up until 8. "

My THE FARTS smell like Florida water today.

I got the xxx suicide hot peanut noodle box from the local noodle hut and my farts for 2 days afterwards were painful, and smelled so fucking badly I literally started making myself feel physically ill. Acrid fucking biological warfare.

Maybe because this thread is on the front page and I've been net binging hardcore, but I am chemical warfaring myself so bad right now... I want to say it's the worst of all time. TTS

I've been doing those tiny little pop farts that you do just before a massive shite, they reeked of anger and failure, the shit it's self was almost vomited from my back passage and stunk to high heaven.

I tend to make stew a lot in the winter and every time it's pretty awful. We ate some spicy chinese and then later in the day ate spicy ramen and for the rest of the day THE FARTS were HORRENDOUS, like as in my girlfriend was literally PISSED and slept in the other room. The joke's on her though, because the next day I totally shit my pants.

delmuerte wrote:I tend to make stew a lot in the winter and every time it's pretty awful. We ate some spicy chinese and then later in the day ate spicy ramen and for the rest of the day THE FARTS were HORRENDOUS, like as in my girlfriend was literally PISSED and slept in the other room. The joke's on her though, because the next day I totally shit my pants.

That'll teach her!! Well done!

I ate a little too much Thai yesterday for lunch that weighed heavily on me for the rest of the day. Drank way too many PBRs last night. If you didn't know any better and walked into my house this morning you would swear that someone set off a sulfur bomb with Thai peppers in the mix.

i'm cutting some fumers right now.

it's equal parts beautiful and horrifying.

TheDOAD wrote:I just ripped one of the loudest the farts ever it was huge. Gave myself the dutch oven.


Roast pork and sauerkraut cooked in the pan drippings...

and now do you have PANTS drippings?

I accidentally farted on the train on the way home tonight and I think the smell woke up the guy sitting in front of me.

I'm about to take my younglings to see some church guys rip up phonebooks and bend iron bars. I hope the Toasted Angus I had this morning from DD hits me while I'm there. That baby had 2 eggs on it.

I was ripping awful the farts at work today. I later sat down on my chair fast and think I pushed out some built up the fart fumes in the chair fibers. It must've fermented further while in there.

A few days of not smoking really gets the farts a-flying.

Google it.

DanBehavingBadly wrote:I'm about to take my younglings to see some church guys rip up phonebooks and bend iron bars. I hope the Toasted Angus I had this morning from DD hits me while I'm there. That baby had 2 eggs on it.

I drank some White Russians last night and hot boxed my bedroom. I left the room to take a piss and walked back in only to get clotheslined by lingering methane.