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I wanted to tear ass this morning when I was laying in bed. Haven't done that around the gf yet.

i have done nothing but LOL in this thread

the real tragedy occurs at 1:30

The last time I ate four pounds of poutine they lasted for about seven hours. By the end of the ordeal my body was in a significantly weakened state.

stella! first thing i thought of when i saw the thread title.

"i'm really happy for you all. i only wish my day was as happy as yours."
"yeah, well that's your problem FUCK YOU."

if you want to get really obnoxious, just shave off your ass hair

Pisscubes wrote:Last night I ate indian food and got drunk.

This morning my THE FARTS lasted for untold periods of time and peeled the paint in my small studio apartment.

My THE FARTS were even more vicious and vociferous when I sat down on the throne to try to expunge my THE INTESTINES.

Friendly Goatus wrote:

The one at around 0:30 didn't sound very clean.

Necrometer wrote:if you want to get really obnoxious, just shave off your ass hair

god yes. do this in the mississippi summertime and the noises you make are just so wet and vile.....

Comrade Slinky wrote:The last time I ate four pounds of poutine they lasted for about seven hours.

Don't know why this made me laugh so hard.

When I used to work at the warehouse I was helping some lady with her bulk goods. I had a 40Kg bag of sugar on each shoulder and when I came round the corner I was THE FARTing at every step. It was heavy and I was looking at the ground so I didn't notice her standing right in front of me but when I'd learned she probably heard the hole thing I just said fuck it, stopped, and THE FARTed real good just to get it over with. I honestly can't remember looking at her face to see her reaction.

DanBehavingBadly wrote:

Friendly Goatus wrote:

The one at around 0:30 didn't sound very clean.

bet someone cranked on her turder

My parents took my autistic son and me to El Jalapeno for lunch. It's pretty authentic to the point where our waitress had to call someone to translate when my dad asked what the lunch special was today. I am going to text my wife soon so she can look forward to Dutch oven time when she gets off work tonight.

I've had em every day for the past 4 months. Karbz and fibre

Pisscubes wrote:

electronicham wrote:Every time I have eaten the eggs from the bowling alley

You can stop right there. We've found your problem.

eating the rest of the food from my moms fridge, old soyrizo, wilted cilantro, green soggy potatoes. testing the limits of my system, creating THE FARTS

I thought this was going to be about Blaine Fart's original band.

i thought that was The Fartz

DanBehavingBadly wrote:

Friendly Goatus wrote:

The one at around 0:30 didn't sound very clean.

I love the heavy breathing and "phew" at 1:06, like she just finished chopping a cord of wood and job-well-done'd herself.

Black Jacques wrote:

DanBehavingBadly wrote:

Friendly Goatus wrote:

The one at around 0:30 didn't sound very clean.

I love the heavy breathing and "phew" at 1:06, like she just finished chopping a cord of wood and job-well-done'd herself.

Apparently this isn't a one time thing for Valerie:



Hopefully she had some baby wipes handy after #4.

she speaks the gospel with her asshole.

I have mysterious THE SHITS today.

i just took a life affirming shit a few minutes ago. my whole house smells like glory now!

I just had Indian food for lunch. I've already shit twice since then and my stomach is practically howling with winds of my ancestors. Tonight my girlfriend suffers.