Sir Schwartz's Unstoppable Pro Wrestling Thread

[The Bill]

I’m skimming through to catch up but I’m seeing a lot of AEW type nonsense.

[The Bill]

And why is Magneto doing commentary?

[kevin hash]

Uso vs. Uso.

I'm a sucker for brother vs brother matches.

Jey with the win. Pretty short really. Definitely doesn't top owen vs. Brett.

2 out of 5.

[kevin hash]

Asuka and the other 2 chicks vs. Jade Cargill, Naomi and Bianca Belair.

Still waiting for Belair to lose her hair in a match.

Cargill panties slammed up the crack. Delightful.

Dakota Kai has sent dudes videos of her finger blasting her ham cavity.

These are the matches you put on the pre show. No one cares. The crowd is getting snacks and taking a piss break.

[kevin hash]

The women's division consists of the following:

A bunch of hot cannon fodder for rhea, jade, and Charlotte to beat up.

Good match anyways. 2.2 out of 5. Panties up dumper make for hard prick. Hornia.

[The Bill]

Fucking vodka and fucking Saudi Arabia! TKO is such a whore of a company.

[kevin hash]

Zayn vs Gunther.

Gunther is like a 21st century killer Kowalski.

Sami's wife looks like Phil rudd.

These dudes are chopping the shit out of each other.

Sami with the win. That was pretty bad ass. Sami has that mick Foley sympathy heat.

Phil Rudd will be eating good tonight.

4 out of 5. Could be good title run for Sami if he plays his cards right. Gunther will be back at Summerslam to beat his ass some more.

[kevin hash]

Main event.

Rollins is the closest we have to the macho man. This dudes outfits rule so hard.

I've really loved the build up for this match.

The final boss coming out to stand in the middle of a flaming cow head is pretty sick.

This match is slow as fuck. No heat. What the fuck happened?

[kevin hash]

The rock is gassed already.

This match seems weird to me. Everyone is playing it safe because they have to wrestle tomorrow.

Rollins knee "injury" is telegraphing a drew win tomorrow. Maybe Drew will bring his gay little sword out. That's only acceptable if proscriptor McGovern is his manager

This match needs to get going and get going quickly.

[kevin hash]

Holy fuckin shit. That spear to the rock was no joke.

This match has really picked up.

The finish was a foregone conclusion. So now tomorrow it's gonna be bloodline rules. SLH is pleased.

This was a 3.5 out of 5.

Pretty decent show.

[kevin hash]

The press conference should be a time where everyone needs to stay in character.

[kevin hash]

Wrestlemania night 2:

God bless America.....sung by some randos.....who cares.

Stephanie McMahon is out looking pretty crankable. Needy3.
Huge pop for her....or maybe for her milkwagons. She talks about how it's the first mania under the leadership of HHH.

Wonder how much pre jizz is dripping into the panties of fans in attendance.

Here comes drew without the sword....thank fuck.

Missed opportunity that proscriptor McGovern isn't his manager.

[kevin hash]

Rollins vs McEntyre

These dudes are cookin pretty good. Hard hitting stuff.

Lots of good false finishes. Is this the match of the night?

Holy fuck that ending was flawless!

5 out of 5. Good luck to the rest of the card.

[kevin hash]

Punk stomping the shit out of Drew only for priest to come in to cash in his money in the bank contract is pure gold.

Damian Priest as world champion seems okay for a test run. Lot of possibilities here.

[kevin hash]

6 man street fight.

Who cares.

Does anyone think karrion Kross has any real future in wrestling other than being a bland bottom card wrestler. I put him in the same category as Aleister Black. Boring.

Snoop dogg on commentary is what makes this good.

Authors of pain are back? Zzzzz.

Hot clam at ringside. Going through tables.

This match pretty much stinks.

[kevin hash]

So this was basically jobber Kross getting punked out by 3 nobodies.

Bobby Lashley and the street profits are the equivalent of hillbilly Jim and the bushwackers. Will never see the top of any card unless it's at the fairgrounds. So if they won....what does that make Kross or the 2 useless authors of pain?

1 out of 5 just cuz I like snoop dogg.

[kevin hash]

AJ vs Knight

Simple and to the point on the set up. Classic feud.

These dudes are off to a good start.

German suplex off the top rope looked brutal.

LA knight should do a professor from Gilligan's Island gimmick.

[kevin hash]

LA knight with the win.

I just don't get how much more mileage this guy is going to get out of saying "Yeah" every 5 seconds.

Him going over styles is fine but goddamn bud you need to get something extra going.

3 out of 5. YEAH!

[kevin hash]

Logan Paul vs randy Orton vs Kevin Owen's

This just goes to show how deep the top of the card is in that Orton is working this match.

Logan Paul gets it.....selling like a madman.

That was a damn good match. Logan Paul bringing out another random. YouTube video game fuck is unnecessary. Less of those losers.

3.7 out of 5. Let's get Orton back to the upper card.

[kevin hash]

Iyo Sky vs Bayley.

Bayley in top form. Pumpasaurus9.

I'm not convinced that sky is legit. She's like a midget wrestler. She needs to be on pornhub doing bukake vids.

Bayley wins. Good call.

3 out of 5. Butt7.

[kevin hash]

Cody vs Roman.

This was fuckin pretty good. Was shocked the shenanigans didn't start off the jump.

Cena coming was expected. Dude is definitely off the gas.

Undertaker chokeslamming the final boss was pretty cool. No Austin which was odd since he had been teased.

Rollins coming out in shield gear was an odd touch but sure....I'll take it.

The final boss taking Cena out was pretty fun.

Great match overall. 4 out of 5. Sweet lord heyman.

[godofdeadlydeath]

The first Mania with zero Vince involvement was one of the best. I'm glad he's gone. That main event was tremendous. Fun weekend.

[The Bill]

Bayley in top form. Pumpasaurus9.

I watched night two with my best friend. We haven’t watched a PPV live together since the mania with Goldberg vs Brock… or was it Brock vs Roman when Seth did the Money in the Bank thing. ANYWAY! We were trying to figure out if Bayley turned lesbo. That nose ring, haircut, baggy outfit, and weight gain. Or maybe, with Vince gone she was like fuck him, I’ll look as he hates. Or, was she emulating an anime as these kids like to do. Did she fully except her white trash roots, and decide to guzzle cum after cum with a 12 pack of Coors chaser. It’s odd. I personally like her good thickness but if Vince was there, no way Bayley was winning being in that shape.

[godofdeadlydeath]

Bayley has always had a big lower half. And she had like a 6 pack so it's not like she's in bad shape? She killed it, that match was great.

[The Bill]

Bayley has always had a big lower half. And she had like a 6 pack so it's not like she's in bad shape? She killed it, that match was great.

She had a big gut for a WWE chick that isn’t a super weight. Almost beer belly in nature. Again, I like a soft bitch, but it was an odd visual to see in WWE, especially Wrestlemania.