TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP!

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Toilet Fleet
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Mon Sep 17, 2018 9:09 am

always fun when numerous talking head dipshits have to go from "these are baseless anonymous complaints" to "whom amongst us hasn't, while a younger man, occasionally enjoyed the screams of an unwilling teen girl" in the span of 24 hours

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Mon Sep 17, 2018 11:42 pm

History is a nightmare from which I am trying to awake.

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Necrometer
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Tue Sep 18, 2018 11:12 am

Necrometer wrote:
Tue Mar 13, 2018 4:22 pm
I also wanted to alert everyone to the possibility that:
(1) trump's dick pix will be public sometime soon
(2) as delightful as it would be to have a laugh at this guy's expense, my bio-geo-anatomical profiling efforts suggest that Trump's Scots-Bavarian ancestry predicts a donger of average length and healthy girth. his tall stature and substantial obesity would work to dwarf any wang presented with that context, but I think we're more likely to see it abstracted into relative artistic isolation (although I can't rule out a shot of it penetrating one of Ms. Daniels' holes)
it ain't pix, but...
She says that Trump’s penis “smaller than average” but “not freakishly small.”

“He knows he has an unusual penis,” Daniels writes. “It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool…

“It may have been the least impressive sex I’d ever had, but clearly, he didn’t share that opinion.”

“I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart...”
there's a lot of activity on twitter right now but I'm disappointed at the absence of parody tweet wherein trump brags about how Toad is the best character in SMB2 because he's so quick to uproot vegetables or something
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riley-o
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Tue Sep 18, 2018 11:25 am

I don’t know who she thinks she’s talking to but this is the internet where real men know Toad was one of the best characters in Mario Kart
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Toilet Fleet
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Tue Sep 18, 2018 11:32 am

i get that kavanaugh is a lawyer and he's dealing with his own lawyer(s), but holy shit is arguing in the alternative the fucking dogshit stupidest way to defend yourself in what is absolutely a political—and not legal—proceeding. mind you, this is from surrogates and other people plugged into the process, and not kavanaugh himself. but that's the danger of playing this game as though it were a legal proceeding to be won, and not a nomination subject to voter input in an election year

"he didn't do it" is a credibility issue, and that's where it will be won or lost with voters. "he didn't do it, but even if he did, he was 17" is precisely the kind of legalistic bullshit that non-law people hate for good reasons (and also, it's a really bad application of it!). you don't argue in the alternative in a way that even remotely concedes the worst thing levied against you! that's stupid!

if anything, the arguendo approach to "he didn't do it" is "this incident didn't transpire as she remembers it." that at least permits some facts to line up without giving away the damn game, and makes it a fuzzier credibility analysis after the first one. holy shit, i thought DC operators were fucking operators, not sincerely dumb!

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Necrometer
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Tue Sep 18, 2018 12:36 pm

turns out they're dumb!

even dumber than toad, the most useless excuse for a character in all of SMB1
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riley-o
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Tue Sep 18, 2018 12:59 pm

She pointedly specified Mario Kart

Quit trying to direct the conversation to irrelevant Mario games
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Necrometer
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Tue Sep 18, 2018 6:30 pm

she didn't even disparage toad's kart skills!
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Tue Sep 18, 2018 7:38 pm

Precisely my point !

Ergo Trump’s dick may be a freakish mushroom monstrosity but he didn’t get compared to Bowser which is what we would all expect so that’s something
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THE KILL
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Wed Sep 19, 2018 9:30 am

Can we stop talking about Trump's ugly not quite averagely sized mushroom dick... it makes me nauseous. Honestly, he might be one of the most unattractive head of states there has ever been in any fucking country, and that is without even taking off his clothes.

Also, Necrometer, what makes you say that SMB1 presents Toad as dumb... because he was kidnapped by Bowser? Doesn't make him any dumber than the princess? (clearly, every mushroom guy at the end of a castle stage is a different person! Bowser kidnapped many people, which shows you what a dick he is)
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Wed Sep 19, 2018 10:11 am

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Toilet Fleet
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Wed Sep 19, 2018 10:15 am

imagining the sov cit chud who is trying to make a claim of wayward boat damage, when the judge announces the appropriate venue is admiralty law

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Eight Bit Alien
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Wed Sep 19, 2018 12:19 pm

Is that one of those blocks of texts written by an AI program?
canon.docre wrote:I will not be seduced by the cheap showiness of nature.

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Honky Kong 64
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Wed Sep 19, 2018 1:30 pm

riley-o wrote:
Tue Sep 18, 2018 11:25 am
I don’t know who she thinks she’s talking to but this is the internet where real men know Toad was one of the best characters in Mario Kart
Ok this is a stone cold fact.
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Wed Sep 19, 2018 1:59 pm

THE KILL wrote:
Wed Sep 19, 2018 9:30 am
Also, Necrometer, what makes you say that SMB1 presents Toad as dumb... because he was kidnapped by Bowser? Doesn't make him any dumber than the princess? (clearly, every mushroom guy at the end of a castle stage is a different person! Bowser kidnapped many people, which shows you what a dick he is)
I didn't mean dumb like unintelligent, more like a goofy character in a meta (?) sense. like, that guy didn't do ANYTHING; it's hilarious that he persisted and got so many prestige bumps along the way. if it weren't for that doki doki panic re-skin, I bet he would've stayed much more obscure.

I feel bad for the character; no, he (and his brethren) were not asking for it (not sure I could say the same for that princess...)
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Wed Sep 19, 2018 6:34 pm

Honky Kong 64 wrote:
Wed Sep 19, 2018 1:30 pm
riley-o wrote:
Tue Sep 18, 2018 11:25 am
I don’t know who she thinks she’s talking to but this is the internet where real men know Toad was one of the best characters in Mario Kart
Ok this is a stone cold fact.
Koopa Troopa/Toad Top Team
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Eight Bit Alien
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Wed Sep 19, 2018 6:41 pm

riley-o wrote:
Wed Sep 19, 2018 6:34 pm
Koopa Troopa/Toad Top Team
witnessed
canon.docre wrote:I will not be seduced by the cheap showiness of nature.

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THE KILL
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Thu Sep 20, 2018 8:08 am

Honky Kong 64 wrote:
Wed Sep 19, 2018 1:30 pm
riley-o wrote:
Tue Sep 18, 2018 11:25 am
I don’t know who she thinks she’s talking to but this is the internet where real men know Toad was one of the best characters in Mario Kart
Ok this is a stone cold fact.
Unless you're going for a course record...

PS: fun fact: Doki Doki Panic started development as SMB2, but it was considered too different from the first game so they reskinned it.
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Eight Bit Alien
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Thu Sep 20, 2018 10:32 am

THE KILL wrote:
Thu Sep 20, 2018 8:08 am

Unless you're going for a course record...
Do the larger characters have a higher top speed? I know the later games work like that but I've rarely ever returned to the original for very long

I feel like we need a Mario kart thread
canon.docre wrote:I will not be seduced by the cheap showiness of nature.

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Honky Kong 64
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Thu Sep 20, 2018 12:15 pm

THE KILL wrote:
Thu Sep 20, 2018 8:08 am
Honky Kong 64 wrote:
Wed Sep 19, 2018 1:30 pm
riley-o wrote:
Tue Sep 18, 2018 11:25 am
I don’t know who she thinks she’s talking to but this is the internet where real men know Toad was one of the best characters in Mario Kart
Ok this is a stone cold fact.
Unless you're going for a course record...
Bullshit.
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Necrometer
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Thu Sep 20, 2018 12:22 pm

I delved into this recently (maybe for 64) and my recollection was that all characters have the same top speed, and the key differences are in cornering, acceleration, and heft (relevant when you bump into someone)

pre-edit - I was wrong about 64 - toad/yoshi/peach all have a slightly higher top speed. seems like bullshit...
http://tasvideos.org/GameResources/N64/MarioKart64.html - scroll down to "driver attributes"
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Thu Sep 20, 2018 1:21 pm


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THE KILL
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Thu Sep 20, 2018 3:55 pm

Honky Kong 64 wrote:
Thu Sep 20, 2018 12:15 pm
THE KILL wrote:
Thu Sep 20, 2018 8:08 am
Honky Kong 64 wrote:
Wed Sep 19, 2018 1:30 pm
riley-o wrote:
Tue Sep 18, 2018 11:25 am
I don’t know who she thinks she’s talking to but this is the internet where real men know Toad was one of the best characters in Mario Kart
Ok this is a stone cold fact.
Unless you're going for a course record...
Bullshit.
I was, of course, talking about the original Super Mario Kart for the SNES. Check out the world records:

https://mkwrs.com/smk/
The Bill wrote:Kids today with their artificially flavored kunt hands!

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