Hard push with small groany fart. Here comes the dinner corpses.
Glacial pace. Shit has yet to hit water. I blame cheese for this.
Chunks are gradually plopping in. There goes that golf ball i ate.
Ploop. Plop. I mean it is a shit but i am a way bigger fan of the long coffee fueled mud slide butthole stretchers than these popcorn chicken poops that you have to kinda work for.
TROLL WORLD ORDER 4 LIFE
BUNGVOX got powerbombed off the stage because he wasn't T.W.O 4 LIFE brother.
Half of a black olive pizza and two diet lemon Snapples later and I’m doing the shitpants dance as I rush to the nearest deuce closet…
Time to throw down some brown, mang!!!
UNGFH???
Barely get my legs around the commode before a series of hot sloppies come barreling out of my chili shoot, backsplashing turd water on my nuts and thighs.
Shaking, I drop my phone into my Hanes. The sound of giggling hippoes reverberates off the porcelain while I sit in shock, wonder where it all went wrong.
Then, a ray of light shines through the window, illuminating the poop particles that fill the air like some kind of third world rainbow…
I’ve sent a lot of hobbits to Isengard in my day, but never have I fought so many angry dwarves along the way.
I came home for lunch which I don't often do and I was standing in front of my bathroom sink.
Somehow what presented itself as an everyday fart was actually... not
How can your body betray you at something you've done millions of times? Alex Honnold hasn't sharted as an adult and it shows.
Took a shower and went back to work.
A heapin’ of fettuccine with steamed broccoli has had me running back and forth to the poop library and busting ghosts all day.
I saddle up to the loo and a whip-fast combo of heaty cracklers immediately fogs up the bathroom mirror with the spirits of dinners past...
I ain’t afraid of no ghost!
I close my eyes and make the sign of the cross...
UNGfhhh.....?????!!
I don’t even get a chance to finish the grunt before I’m cranking out a tail piece thats touching the back of the pipe!!!
Mid-push, a sneaky butt sneeze levitates my cheeks a few inches off the seat, plopping this girthy steamer against the porcelain to retreat deep into the watery abyss.
The room smells like a mixture of butt and bread and butt.
The dog yelps and whines and starts pawing furiously at the barn door. A whiff of sulfur and flicker of match-light. The winds howl with grief, parting the leaves of the trees outside and letting rays of moonlight dance across the tile.
I’ve hunted a lot of spooks in my day but never have I left feeling so haunted by the skiddy evidence of what lies now in the great beyond.
Winston B. Shittemore
Last edited by WeeBeeNuDuce on Sun Mar 24, 2019 10:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Couple bowls of turkey chili for breakfast and I’ve been giving myself a Tijuana back massage in my special chair and enjoying the free heating ever since...
Uh-oh. That last fart was more like a sneeze. Start running to the Facebook closet but cut to the blooper reel half-way down the hallway....
Time to crack open some ass!!!
UUUUU...????
The fast and loosies come barreling out before my buns even hit the seat. Somehow Siri switches on and starts shopping for bowling shoes while I yell back and fart in unison.
The wife knocks on the door and asks if I need a priest. Don’t even get a chance to gather a response before blowing another round of butt that shrieks like a mad crane and fills the air with the smell of burnt hotdogs.
Reach over for some Charmin and only find an empty cardboard roll. End up wiping with half a box of Kleenex and wondering what I did in a past live to deserve this.
I’ve pushed a lot of rope in my day but never have I been left hanging in quite this way...
“Reach over for some Charmin and only find an empty cardboard roll. End up wiping with half a box of Kleenex and wondering what I did in a past live to deserve this”
So, basically how your mother felt on your birthday?
Get to crapping or get your faggot ass out of the conversation, for fuck’s sake...
Today is the 5th of july. I was in my office trying to hold it back. This fucker wouldn't wait. Let the fireworks begin.
Ughfjjjhvkfkckckvkvk.
Effortless girthy turd ejaculates out my ass pipe. Smells like hot garbage. I wish i could measure the speed which this monster flew out....had to be at least 55mph.
I want to shit during an earthquake. This is a new frontier. Shit goals to aspire to.
TROLL WORLD ORDER 4 LIFE
BUNGVOX got powerbombed off the stage because he wasn't T.W.O 4 LIFE brother.
I'm glad I remembered to post in this thread before the board was deleted
like a week ago I must have taken the world's smallest shit. it was a single particle, definitely shit, but the turn was insanely small. smaller than a chickpea. smaller than a pea. like the size of a typical nerds candy. I was amazed. my gut soon overcompensated in the other direction, though: within a few days I was wiping more red than brown
good thing I'll be dead soon, cause I'm tired of liars winning