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HIRE VIRGIL TO DO WHAT

WHAT

I presumed that all of virgil's services would be used as appropriate

Eight Bit Alien wrote: ↑Fri Apr 03, 2020 1:44 pm HIRE VIRGIL TO DO WHAT

WHAT

bodyguard technically, but you have him do all types of demeaning and emasculating tasks along the way to get heat

every single fucking answer opens the door to two new questions

every devil fucking witch riddle is a faustian pact monkeypaw wish

GET WHAT HEAT

The same heat one generates by kicking away a child's basketball before he can dribble it fifteen times

The toes Virgil, the toes.

I'd buy a nice house in Hollis NH and another one in West Palm Beach somewhere and LA and NYC and probably London. Buy a Lamborghini and like a benz and or maybe a nice new honda so as to do the day to day driving around without driving "ROB ME!" type attention to myself. Hire the best Lawyer I could find for reasonable/fair money to hopefully protect me from all the people who would want to fuck me out of as much of my money as they could. Take care of my Mom and my in laws (who have always been amazing to me taking good care of us and helping us like guardian angels whenever we needed it, like right now for example they're housing us while we're only living off one income, my wife's, which in Massachusetts/New Hampshire is nowhere near enough to live on here). Make sure my 23 year old recent grad sister is ok too (house, car, etc. Spoil the shit out of our dog. Do lots of nice things for my wife. Take her on a bunch of vacations all over the world seeing all the places we wanted to see like London, Ireland, Norway, Sweden, France, Germany, Spain, See Italy again, Switzerland, Czech Republic, Greece, Austria, Netherlands, Belgium. Buy some nice guitars and studio shit.

1:1 godzilla statue wearing stone cold steve austin's vest

fuck yeah dude


no "greatest weeb move of all time" fantasy, or is that it???

also i appreciate both of you just now giving straightforward responses

instead of speaking in backwards riddles like a sphinx from David Lynch's Oedipus

upgrade from budweiser to dos equis

i keep reading the title as "what if you were overweight overnight"

I'd build an Olive Garden staffed with sex workers for Virgil to live in in the backyard and go hang out with him any time I needed a "Tim the Toolman Taylor/Wilson" type moment so he could lift my spirits by holding court on marks and fuck money and basically being a live-in shoot interview. I'd ask him to do all the talking for me when I have to go shopping, call customer service, etc. I'd treat him with the utmost respect and make sure he appreciated working for me. If he'd be down to drive for me that would be cool, but, if not, I could just hire Kato Kaelin for that and have Virgil chill in the back of the limo with me and roast people we see out the window.

I’d become an instagram celebrity and convince president Trump to pardon Joe Son. I’d meet him at the exit of the prison and tell him I’m his benefactor and had worked on his case with lawyers who had miraculously found that DNA evidence actually proved he wasn’t a rapist and the guy he killed in prison was self defense and he had false memory syndrome making him think he raped that woman when he hadn’t. I’ll have him driven to a new house that he can live in for free and then when he walks in the door there’s a small empty card table and stuffed marlin on the wall and two guys dressed like Vinnie and random thug from Good Fellas shoot him in the face so his mom can’t give him an open casket funeral.