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If you use a budet you are a weird, gay French person.

It's okay to continue posting in this thread but lower your fucking tone in deference to our hardy, seasoned American pioneer colons.

Bow your weak, precious little forehead just a bit. If you use a biddet it's okay, but keep your delicate little face pointed at the ground where it belongs, at least until your American master has finished speaking. Your sweet features are most pleasing to us there.

This goes double for French-inclined Americans, obviously. There will be time to discuss things amongst yourselves, in the hushed tones of such ginger boys, once the free men have concluded their business and dispersed back home to their wives.

It is impermissible for a delicate French budet-user to post in this thread until I have finished speaking.

Introvert wrote: ↑Mon Jan 01, 2024 6:30 pmI’ve never had shit water on my balls after using a bidet. Ross, this is absolutely one of those things in life that you can’t question or criticize until you have some research based on experience.

re: your balls - sounds like you've been lucky, based on this thread - so many people talking about shit water on their balls!!! of the many informative testimonials there, I am posting JUST ONE - probably the MVP:

I got my balls wet the first few times on my seat bidet. Before spraying, I have found out if I scoot forward on the seat and pull my balls up (they stretch farther in warm weather ) and place them on the front edge of the toilet seat solves the problem for me. I'm not convinced that the towel thing is sanitary, so I pull out 4 sheets of TP and fold them together for a 4 ply wipe and start at the back with the paper turned like a diamond and pat dry toward the front, making the last pat at the butthole and taint. Much less TP used, at least. This works very well.

extremely alarming that his stack of 4 sheets = 4 ply. this means his TP was single ply to start with!

THE KILL wrote: ↑Tue Jan 02, 2024 11:16 amRoss, I hate to be rude here but this is a clear case of shut the fuck up you don't know what you're talking about if you haven't tried it yourself. Bidets are awesome and no one who's tried them wants to go back to wiping.

to both you and ryan: not for a second will I be tricked by the "the cigarettes are great, and this will be clear once you try the cigarettes" gambit

already we have a fracture in the bidet community: toilet fleet saying the water augments the wiping, then of course the euro shows up and says he's exclusively using the water to transfer the shit onto his balls, pulling up his lederhosen, and carrying on with his day

ITS ABOUT THE MUCUS

Geeheeb is correct as usual

Necrometer wrote: I need informative and highly detailed posts, like those I find on reddit. They describe the exact sequence of events that include things like ass placement on the seat and the act of stretching your balls -- this paints a VERY helpful diagram in my head. Just don't ruin it by saying you use single ply TP.

look bro, I don't know the science behind it, but I have more superfluous wipes now than I used to so

Necrometer wrote: ↑Wed Jan 03, 2024 1:34 amnot for a second will I be tricked by the "the cigarettes are great, and this will be clear once you try the cigarettes" gambit

This is some of worst scienceing in the history of splattered fecal matter research that I have ever seen

Introvert wrote: ↑Wed Jan 03, 2024 11:24 am

Necrometer wrote: ↑Wed Jan 03, 2024 1:34 amnot for a second will I be tricked by the "the cigarettes are great, and this will be clear once you try the cigarettes" gambit

This is some of worst scienceing in the history of splattered fecal matter research that I have ever seen

This sounds like something a tobacco user would say....

I don't use husk anymore

also husk has lead in it

is that why i cant fucking remember anything anymore

From about 8 years ago.

http://www.reeelapse.com/viewtopic.php?t=51442

RIP Biderik